Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 25: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
February 19th, 2000
Ben Affleck
Fiona Apple
None
Gwyneth Paltrow
G.E. Smith
NightlineSummary: Peanuts characters appear on “Nightline” to mourn the passing of Charles Schultz.
Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Franklin.
Transcript
Montage
Ben Affleck’s MonologueSummary: Despite the need to do so, Gwyneth Paltrow joins Ben Affleck onstage to share his limelight.
Transcript
Victoria’s SecretSummary: A pair of talking breasts promote the lingerie company.
Transcript
Ben Loves MangoSummary: Ben Affleck finds himself enchanted by Mango (Chris Kattan) at a celebritiy event, but the male dancer is only interested in meeting Matt Damon. Taking a cue from Damon’s movie, “The Talented Mr. Ripley”, Ben disguises himself as his buddy and woos Mango into his apartment.
Recurring Characters: Mango.
Transcript
Boston TeensSummary: Sully (Jimmy Fallon) sees Denise (Rachel Dratch) flirting with Donny Bartalotti (Ben Affleck) at a party.
Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank, Donny Bartalotti.
TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents “The All New Adventures of Mr. T” (Tracy Morgan), who’s back and ready to work!
Transcript
Fretts Film Forum
FanaticSummary: Crazed fan (Ben Affleck) gets to spend the day with Anna Nicole Smith (Molly Shannon).
Recurring Characters: Anna Nicole Smith.
Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Colin Quinn examines live press conferences held by Republican presidential contenders George W. Bush (Will Ferrell), John McCain (Chris Parnell), and Alan Keyes (Tim Meadows).
Recurring Characters: George W. Bush, John McCain, Alan Keyes.
Transcript
Fiona Apple performs “Limp”
The ZimmermansSummary: Josh (Chris Kattan) and Laura Zimmerman (Cheri Oteri) flirt with a sleazy salesman (Ben Affleck) while shopping for a new car.
Recurring Characters: Josh Zimmerman, Laura Zimmerman.
Transcript
Police Recruit Fitness TestingSummary: At 50 years of age, Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon) wants to join the police academy.
Recurring Characters: Salley O’Malley.
Transcript
TrilocaineTranscript
Who Wants To Be Groped By An Eleven-Thousandaire?Summary: A semi-rich redneck (Ben Affleck) favors confused guy (Chris Kattan) over a pair of desperate brides.
GoodnightsTranscript
