SNL Transcripts: Christopher Walken: 04/08/00: Christopher Walken’s Monologue

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 16


99p: Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera

Christopher Walken’s Monologue

…..Christopher Walken
…..Rachel Dratch
…..Ana Gasteyer
…..Cheri Oteri
…..Molly Shannon

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Christopher Walken!

[Cheers and applause]

Christopher Walken: Thank you. Thanks so much. I’m glad to be back hosting “Saturday Night Live.” I miss this place. You know, in the movies, I never get a chance to do things like this. Sing, dance, do crazy make-em ups. Since I turned 39, I don’t go out much and I don’t stay up very late, and sometimes…

[ A crew member hands Christopher a microphone. The SNL Band strikes up a tune behind Walken. ] [singing]“Saturday Night
is the loneliest night
of the week.
‘Cause that’s the night
that my sweetie and I
used to dance cheek to cheek.
I don’t mind
Sunday night at all.
‘Cause that’s the night
friends come to call
and Monday to Friday’s a gas
and another, ‘nother week goes past.”

RACHEL DRATCH, ANA GASTEYER, CHERI O’TERI, AND MOLLY SHANNON ENTER and dance on either side of Christopher.

[singing]“Saturday Night
is the loneliest night
of the week –”

Oh, looks like I’ve got company.

[singing]“I sing the song that I sang
for the memories.
I usually seek
until I hear you knock at the door,
until you’re in my arms once more.
Saturday night’s
the loneliest night of the week.”

[ There’s an instrumental break in the music. Christopher and the ladies dance in sync. ] [singing]“Until I hear you at the door,
until you’re in my arms once more,
Saturday night’s
the loneliest night of the week!”

We’ve got a great show. Christina Aguilera’s here. We’ll be right back.

[singing]”Saturday night’s
the loneliest night of the week…”

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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