Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 25: Episode 16
99p: Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
Viagra
Chris…..Christopher Walken
Janine…..Ana Gasteyer
Petite Wife…..Tina Fey
[ open on Chris and Janine lounging in front of an open fire in their living room ]
Chris: In a marriage.. intimacy.. is important. Erectile Dysfunction.. is a thief. It takes away something, that’s very precious. When I first experiences Erectile Dysfunction.. I was afraid, and confused. Then, I heard about Viagra. It worked. It worked a lot. Now.. things are the way they used to be.. for Janine and me. We’re doin’ it like bunnies.
[ cut to close-up of Janine, as she smiles with wan regret ]
Chris: Thanks, Viagra.
[ cut to chubby couple in a spinning embrace ]
Chubby Woman: [ as she spins past the camera, and scowls ] Thanks a lot.
[ cut to attractive black woman adjusting flowers in a vase, as her chubby husband moves in from behind and gives her a tight squeeze ]
Black Woman: [ to the camera ] Thank you very much.
[ cut to old couple dancing ]
Old Woman: [ unable to get away, faces the camera ] Yeah. Thanks.
[ cut to younger couple, man with his arm wrapped around his petite wife ]
: [ disgruntled ] Yeah. Thanks for this.
[ cut to attractive young woman lying in bed wearing a silky negligee, as her much older husband crawls across the sheets and grips her shoulder ]
Attractive Woman: Gee. Thanks, Viagra.
[ she turns the lights off ]
[ fade to black, then fade up on overhead shot of couple dancing on a checkerboard floor ]
[ dissolve to close-up of Janine’s hands pouring Viagra pills down the toilet ]
Chris (voice): Honey?
Janine (voice): I’ll be right there!
[ dissolve to title card ]
Announcer: Ask your doctor about Viagra.
[ fade ]
