SNL Transcripts: Christopher Walken: 04/08/00: Viagra


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 25: Episode 16

99p: Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera


Chris…..Christopher Walken
Janine…..Ana Gasteyer
Petite Wife…..Tina Fey

[ open on Chris and Janine lounging in front of an open fire in their living room ]

Chris: In a marriage.. intimacy.. is important. Erectile Dysfunction.. is a thief. It takes away something, that’s very precious. When I first experiences Erectile Dysfunction.. I was afraid, and confused. Then, I heard about Viagra. It worked. It worked a lot. Now.. things are the way they used to be.. for Janine and me. We’re doin’ it like bunnies.

[ cut to close-up of Janine, as she smiles with wan regret ]

Chris: Thanks, Viagra.

[ cut to chubby couple in a spinning embrace ]

Chubby Woman: [ as she spins past the camera, and scowls ] Thanks a lot.

[ cut to attractive black woman adjusting flowers in a vase, as her chubby husband moves in from behind and gives her a tight squeeze ]

Black Woman: [ to the camera ] Thank you very much.

[ cut to old couple dancing ]

Old Woman: [ unable to get away, faces the camera ] Yeah. Thanks.

[ cut to younger couple, man with his arm wrapped around his petite wife ]

: [ disgruntled ] Yeah. Thanks for this.

[ cut to attractive young woman lying in bed wearing a silky negligee, as her much older husband crawls across the sheets and grips her shoulder ]

Attractive Woman: Gee. Thanks, Viagra.

[ she turns the lights off ] [ fade to black, then fade up on overhead shot of couple dancing on a checkerboard floor ] [ dissolve to close-up of Janine’s hands pouring Viagra pills down the toilet ]

Chris (voice): Honey?

Janine (voice): I’ll be right there!

[ dissolve to title card ]

Announcer: Ask your doctor about Viagra.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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