SNL Transcripts: Tobey Maguire: 04/15/00

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 17


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April 15th, 2000

Tobey Maguire

Sisqo

None

Lorne Michaels

Adam McKay

Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown

Steve Buscemi
The Studio 8-H RulesSummary: Tobey Maguire recites the studio’s rules to the cast members.

Transcript

Montage

Tobey Maguire’s MonologueSummary: Tobey Maguire has to endure the antics of audience member, Keith (Adam McKay), who mistakes him for the movie “Jerry Maguire”.

Recurring Characters: Keith.

Transcript

Celebrity Jeopardy!Summary: Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) vs. Hilary Swank (Jimmy Fallon) and Keanu Reeves (Tobey Maguire).

Recurring Characters: Alex Trebek, Sean Connery, Keanu Reeves, Ricky Martin, Chad Lowe.

Transcript

Burger CastleSummary: Nadeen (Cheri Oteri) quiets down customers at Burger Castle by telling them to “Simmer down now!”

Recurring Characters: Nadeen.

Transcript

TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel has some “Fun With Real Audio”.

Inside The Actor’s StudioSummary: James Lipton (Will Ferrell) is enamored by former “Saved by the Bell” second banana, Dustin Diamond (Tobey Maguire).

Recurring Characters: James Lipton, Dustin Diamond.

Transcript

Attebury Tennis LessonRecurring Characters: Ginger Attebury, Leslie Attebury.

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnRecurring Characters: Angelina Jolie, James Haven Voight, Qrplt*xk, Joy Lipton.

Sisqo performs “The Thong Song”

Yoga ClassSummary: A yoga student (Will Ferrell) fulfills his dream of achieving oral self-gratification.

Transcript

Stavenhagen’s Pawn ShopSummary: A film by Adam McKay.

Porno Magazines

WestlinkSummary: A company so advanced that even they don’t know what they do.

Transcript

GoodnightsTranscript

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