Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 25: Episode 19
The Demarco Brothers
Kyle Demarco…..Chris Kattan
Sean Demarco…..Chris Parnell
(Dancer finishes up audition)
Britney Spears: Uh, thank you, great moves. We’ll keep in touch alright?
Dancer: Ok, thank you
Britney Spears: Who’s next?
Assistant: Uh, Kyle Demarco, and his brother Sean Demarco
Kyle DeMarco: (furiously shaking Britney’s hand) Oh my God, Hi, Hi, how are you? Oh my God Hi, hi, nice to meet you
Sean DeMarco: Let me shake her hand.
Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God my heart’s going crazy
Sean DeMarco: Oh my God you just said “crazy” like her song
Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God, I totally did, I didn’t mean to do that, oh my God!
Assistant: Ok guys, calm down. Calm down guys
Britney Spears: Ok, look guys I’m going on tour very soon and I’m looking for dancers with a lot of energy.
Assistant: Right so, uh, let’s see what you guys got.
Kyle DeMarco: Ok…(referring to shirt) Give it up…
Sean DeMarco: For Britney…You know it…
Kyle DeMarco: TOTALLY! (laughs)
Britney Spears: Those are nice.
Sean DeMarco: We stayed up all night making them
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah we totally missed Felicity….ah ok ok ok
(They get a serious look on their faces and they turn to each other)
Kyle DeMarco: Freedom
Sean DeMarco: Freedom
Kyle DeMarco: Trust
Sean DeMarco: Trust
Kyle DeMarco: Wings
Sean DeMarco: Wings
Kyle DeMarco: Give it up!
Sean DeMarco: Woo!
(Beginning of “Oops, I Did it Again” plays then breaks into chorus-while that is playing, the Demarco Brothers are doing dance moves related to the lyrics of the song)
Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God,Oh my God you were so good
Sean DeMarco: No you were so good
Kyle DeMarco: I know totally I was, I was totally good I know that!
Britney Spears: That was really interesting guys, um, you wanna show me something else?
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, if you just give us a second here we will. God, what is that?
Sean DeMarco: You ok-you ok?
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah I’m fine, I’m fine…how are my bangs?
Sean DeMarco: They could be longer-uh-how are my pot marks?
Kyle DeMarco: You can’t see them.
Britney Spears: You guys we really have a lot of other people to see-
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, I know, ok, God, I know this, ok, God, what is this?…Ok…Let’s do this
Sean DeMarco: For Britney
Kyle DeMarco: (points to shirt) Totally!
(“You Drive Me Crazy” plays-the Brothers do motions to the sound of the bells with their heads and hips…Britney stops music)
Kyle DeMarco: Uh, oh, uuuuh!
Britney Spears: Ok, you guys were just wobbling
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, ok and you just interrupted us. Thank you very much!
Assistant: You guys got something else you can show us?
Britney Spears: Yeah guys we’re really running out of time.
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, ok Little Miss Pissy, how ’bout you watch your lip?!
Sean DeMarco: Hey Kyle!
Kyle DeMarco: I just don’t get it you know?
Sean DeMarco: Kyle?
Kyle DeMarco: What?
Sean DeMarco: Look at me. Look at me. You take that fire that’s going on inside of you right now, and you put it into the dance! Alright?
Kyle DeMarco: Ok, ok.
Sean DeMarco: Remember what Nanny Demarco said, “If you dream, dream out loud”
Kyle DeMarco: Ok.
Assistant: That’s really great you guys but, uh, we gotta keep this thing moving because if we don’t, I may have to shoot myself in the face.
Britney Spears: Yeah, you guys wannna try another number or something?
Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, we will, if you just give us a second ok? Uh, what, uh?
Sean DeMarco: I know, terrible.
(Puts on “Hit Me Baby One More Time” attire…plays song…Brothers start to dance around the table and then start spinning…Britney stops the music)
Britney Spears: Ok, you guys were just spinning. That was awful!
Kyle DeMarco: (crying)
Sean DeMarco: What do you want from us? Do you want us to BLEED?!
Kyle DeMarco: (crying) This business is so hard, it is so hard!
Sean DeMarco: I know, I know. Come on let’s just go buy some headbands or something ok?
Kyle DeMarco: Ok…YOU PEOPLE!!!
Assistant: Man those guys were terrible.
Britney Spears: Totally…oh my God!
Assistant: Well, the next audition isn’t for another hour, you wanna practice the new number?
Britney Spears: Yeah, sure.
(Turns on “You Drive Me Crazy”)
Assistant: Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, now spin, spin, spin, yeah.
(fades to black)
Submitted by: Mia Velarde