Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: 2002-2003
10/05/02: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
10/12/02: Sarah Michelle Geller / Faith Hill
10/19/02: Sen. John McCain / White Stripes
11/02/02: Eric McCormack / Jay-Z
11/09/02: Nia Vardalos / Eve
11/16/02: Brittany Murphy / Nelly
12/07/02: Robert DeNiro / Norah Jones
12/13/02: Al Gore / Phish
01/11/03: Jeff Gordon / Avril Lavigne
01/18/03: Ray Liotta / The Donnas
02/08/03: Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
02/15/03: Jennifer Garner / Beck
02/22/03: Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
03/08/03: Queen Latifah / Ms. Dynamite
03/15/03: Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
04/05/03: Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte
04/12/03: Ray Romano / Zwan
05/03/03: Ashton Kutcher / 50 Cent
05/10/03: Adrien Brody / Sean Paul, Wayne Wonder
05/17/03: Dan Aykroyd / Beyonce
Summary“Saturday Night Live” enters its 28th season following a year of high notes and unusual occurrences. The previous season began with an anthrax scare at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, continued with a midseason cast upgrade for Amy Poehler, the rehiring of Chris Parnell, and ultimately resulted in an Emmy Award for the writing staff. By season’s end, Will Ferrell announced his departure from the show, and Ana Gasteyer, who became the first pregnant cast member, announced her decision to leave after giving birth to a baby girl over the summer. Ferrell’s departure led fans to believe the show would no longer be as funny without him. New featured players Fred Armisen and Will Forte provide new life to the show, though weak sketch premises and constant on-air laughter between Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz leave fans divided. Of the season’s diverse host selections, politicians Sen. John McCain and former Vice-President Al Gore deliver unexpected strong performances, and original Not Ready For Prime Time Player, Dan Aykroyd, often quoted as vowing to only make special guest appearances when needed, finally hosts “Saturday Night Live” in time for its 28th season finale.
02o: Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
Announcer: [ over slideshow of scenes from “Chicago” ] On March 7th, CIA operatives, working in conjunction with Pakistani police, apprehended Al-Quaida mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. In his Pakistani apartment, authorities found address books, computer hard drives, and one DVD. A DVD of the movie “Chicago”. In fact, Mohammed’s apartment was littered with “Chicago” memorabilia.
[ cut to Salm Hayek ]
Salma Hayek: Hi, I’m Salma Hayek. Can I conclusively say that there is a link between Al-Quaida and the movie “Chicago”? [ hesitant ] No.. I cannot. But I can tell you that the movie “Frida” does not support terrorism.
Announcer: Fight terrorism. Vote “Frida”. Paid for personlaly by Salma Hayek, with a personal check.