• 2004

    SNL Transcripts: Ben Affleck: 10/02/04: Swift Boat Veterans For Truth

     Saturday Night Live Transcripts  Season 30: Episode 1 04a: Ben Affleck / Nelly Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Larry Thurlow…..Chris ParnellKen Gardner…..Darrell HammondSteve Cordier…..Horatio SanzGeorge O’Dell…..Fred ArmsienAdrian Letson…..Will Forte [ open on post-debate commentary, pro-Kerry, from fellow politicians ] Joe Biden: And tonight, John Kerry showed his mastery of the world — John McCain: I think he came across as somebody who had a very good grasp of the issues. He understands Korea, he understands Iran — [ SUPER: “But what about domestic issues?” ] [ SUPER: “Listen to those who served with him” ] [ dissolve to Larry Thurlow, speaking in front of doctored photos from John Kerry’s past…

  • 2004

    SNL Transcripts: Jude Law: 10/23/04: “The Apprentice” Promo

     Saturday Night Live Transcripts  Season 30: Episode 3 04c: Jude Law / Ashlee Simpson “The Apprentice” Promo Donald Trump…..Darrell HamondDirector’s Voice…..Seth Meyers [ open on Halloween background foliage ] Director’s Voice: Okay. Uh.. Mr. Trump. If you could just step on your mark? [ Donald Trump, dressed as Dracula, complete with black cape and fake fangs, over his usual business suit, steps in front of the background foliage ] Director’s Voice: Did you, uh.. did you get a chance to see the script? Donald Trump: [ with authority ] Here’s how I want this commercial to go: I’m gonna say the words from the script in the camera, while you…