Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Jack Handey V/O:
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me.
I remember we’d all pile into the car – I forget what kind it was – and drive and drive.
I’m not sure where we’d go, but I think there were some trees there.
The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played.
I remember a bigger, older guy we called “Dad.”
We’d eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home.
I guess some things never leave you.

SNL Transcripts

Dennis Miller’s Last Show

Dennis Miller’s Last Show

…..Dennis Miller
…..Lorne Michaels

[ open on Lorne Michaels pouring a cup of coffee backstage, as Dennis Miller walks up ]

Dennis Miller: Well, Lorne.. it’s been a great six years, but.. it’s time for me to move on.

Lorne Michaels: Is this really your last show?

Dennis Miller: That’s right.

Lorne Michaels: You’re really leaving us, Dennis?

Dennis Miller: Yes. This is it.

Lorne Michaels: Are you sure?

Dennis Miller: Yes, sir.

Lorne Michaels: You’re not going to come back every week to hang out on the set like Lovitz, are you?

Dennis Miller: No. No, I’m really going.

Lorne Michaels: Because that would be pathetic. I mean, the man has no life.

Dennis Miller: This is definitely my last show.

Lorne Michaels: I mean, thank God every now and then he gets a movie..

Dennis Miller: Yeah. Well, I’m serious. This is it for me.

Lorne Michaels: Well.. okay. Is there anything special you’d like to do for your last show?

Dennis Miller: Really?

Lorne Michaels: Anything, Dennis, you name it.

Dennis Miller: Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to say, “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night.”

Lorne Michaels: Well, there’s the camera. Be my guest.

Dennis Miller: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

[ the show doesn’t start ]

Lorne Michaels: [ pats Dennis’ back ] That was great. Uh, well.. we’re gonna miss you, Dennis.

Dennis Miller: Yeah, I’m gonna miss you, too, Lorne. [ they shake hands ]

Lorne Michaels: Well, time to start the show. “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts