An Extra Christmas Carol | Season 44 Episode 8

Ebenezer Scrooge… Mikey Day

Extra Spirit … Jason Momoa

Mr. Crutchett… Beck Bennett

Mrs. Crutchett… Heidi Gardner

Tiny… Kate McKinnon

[Opens a story book and narrators starts telling the Christmas story]

Narrator: And so Mr. Scrooge was shown the errors of his ways by three spirits, the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. The following morning he was a changed man.

[Cut to Scrooge sleeping on his bed. Mrs. Dilber comes in from the door with morning tea for Scrooge]

Ebenezer Scrooge: Tell me what day it is Mrs. Dilber?

Mrs. Dilber: Why, it’s Christmas day sir.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Then I haven’t missed it.

Mrs. Dilber: Are you quite yourself sir?

Ebenezer Scrooge: I hope not! It’s Christmas Day! [Scrooge goes to the window] Merry [Cut to Scrooge shouting out of the window] Christmas, Everyone! [Spirit with Christmas coat on comes in from the door with smokes and clouds]

Extra Spirit: Christmas tidings Scrooge.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge shocked] Who are you?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to spirit walking in] I’m a spirit, Ebenezer.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Marley told me there were only to be three spirits. Are you some sort of extra spirit?

Extra Spirit: Exactly, I’m so much more extra!

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge confused] I have seen my past, present and future. What is left for you to show me?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Maybe this. Watch. [Spirit gets behind the bed curtains and starts dancing flirty and feminine.]

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] Okay. The other ghosts helped me to transform from a stingy miser into a giving, loving man. What lesson did I gain from that?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit] Seriously? You should be like, “Boy, why are you so extra?”

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] I mean, I had a long night so maybe that’s why I’m not getting it?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] It’s fine. I think I know what you need. [Spirits opens his Christmas coat and inside he I wearing glowing shiny tiny cape. Spirit starts stripping flirty and feminine] So?

Ebenezer Scrooge: Are you sure you have the right address?

Extra Spirit: Oh, come on! [Cut to Spirit] I’m being very extra for you and you’re not getting it.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] You took off a cape and had another cape on underneath. What’s to get?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit] It’s called a reveal, you fat head.

[Cut to Spirit and Scrooge. Mrs. Dilber comes in with other three people]

Mrs. Dilber: Mr. Scrooge, the Crutchette family are here.

Extra Spirit: Don’t worry. They won’t see me. I’m a ghost.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Oh, my good fella, come in. Happy Christmas.

Mr. Crutchett: Happy Christmas. What’s gotten into Mr. Scrooge?

Ebenezer Scrooge: Bob, I want to give you something. This is your Christmas bonus.

Mrs. Crutchett: [Cut to three Crutchette family] Bonus? How incredibly kind of you.

Mr. Crutchett: Thank Mr. Scrooge, Tiny.

Tiny: Thank you Mr. Scrooge. If I’m not so bold to ask, who is this well built ghost who’s been so extra?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Thank you! See, Tiny Tim gets it.

Ebenezer Scrooge: So they can see you?

Extra Spirit: Yeah, I guess so.

Tiny: [Cut to three Crutchette family] You’re always as extra as Christmas itself, with all it’s Tinsel and Goose dinners.

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Tiny, Spirit and Scrooge] You know what? Let me give it one last try because I think Scrooge might almost be there.

[Spirit throws away his pants and inside he’s wearing shiny underwear. Spirit starts stripping flirty and feminine] [Tiny walks up front, throws his crutch and starts dancing]

Mr. Crutchett: Tiny, you can walk!

Tiny: Now, give me that bonus money! There’s something I need to do! Yes!

Extra Spirit: Twerk with me, Tiny Tim! Twerk with my Scrooge!

Ebenezer Scrooge: Oh, yes, I see it now. Yes!

[Cut to the story book. The book ends]

Space Station Broadcast | Season 44 Episode 6

Captain Ed McGovern….Steve Carell

Lieutenant Becker….Leslie Jones

Lieutenant Sussman….Mikey Day

Kid (Paulston Middle School, Connecticut)….Ego Nwodim

Teacher Hailey (Tillman Middle School, Wyoming)….Aidy Bryant

Teacher (Orchard Middle School, Ohio)….Alex Moffat

Frozen Astronaut…Kate McKinnon

[Intro of NASA Television]

Captain Ed McGovern: [Cut to Sussman, Becker, and Ed] Hello, earthlings and happy space day. Captain Ed McGovern broadcasting live from the international space station to over 5,000 K through 8 science classrooms across the U.S.A. As I am joined by Lieutenant Sussman and Becker.

Lieutenant Sussman: Hi.

Lieutenant Becker: Hey!

Captain Ed McGovern: There’s also some Russian cosmonauts on board. It’s a party up here. Get back to work, bums.

Lieutenant Sussman: Okay. Bye-bye. [Sussman and Becker leave]

Captain Ed McGovern: I can’t wait to answer some of your questions about space and science. Let’s start with Paulson Middle School in Connecticut.

Kid (Paulston Middle School, Connecticut): [A student appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, what kind of experiments are you doing up there?

Captain Ed McGovern: Great question. We are actually studying how animals adapt to space, and we have funny monkey friends up here helping us out. Thanks for your question, star student. Okay, next. [Sound of a blast] God, mother of god. Oh, what happened?

Lieutenant Sussman: [Sussman comes in the screen] Sorry about that.

Captain Ed McGovern: What happened?

Lieutenant Sussman: There was an airlock breach in the bio lab. Got a little chilly in there but everything is fine now.

Captain Ed McGovern: Okay. Are the animals alright?

Lieutenant Sussman: What’s up?

Captain Ed McGovern: Are the animals alright?

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker comes in the screen] I need you right now.

Lieutenant Sussman: Yep. [Sussman and Becker leave]

Captain Ed McGovern: Well, I Apollo-gize about that. Let’s get back to questions. How about Tillman Middle School in Laramie, Wyoming.

Teacher Hailey: [Hailey appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, this is Haley like the comet and like Eminem’s daughter. Um, how big is the space station?

Captain Ed McGovern: That is a great question. It’s about 32,000 square feet. Down this way, there is a long corridor [frozen monkey floats in front of Ed] that winds into several works and living stations. [Sussman takes away the monkey] It’s kind of like a floating hamster habitat. Thanks, Haley, make sure that you comet to your studies. Now, let’s go to Orchard Middle School in Ohio.

Teacher (Orchard Middle School, Ohio): [Teacher appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, I’m a teacher. My students and I wanted to ask how you guys make food up there, but we’d like to change our question too, is that frozen monkey okay?

Captain Ed McGovern: What monkey? [frozen monkey floats in front of Ed] Oh. OH! This little guy, it’s Capooka. What are you doing? Yikes, he is cold! Wave hello, to everyone. [Ed tries to wave monkey’s hand but the hand breaks] Oh my god! Oh, god! No, no, no, no. [Sussman takes away that monkey] Okay, goodbye. Capooka! Teacher’s out there if you can mute your classroom TV for just a sec while I attend to some space business, that would be great. So, hit mute now. Sussman, what’s going on with the monkeys?

Lieutenant Sussman: [Sussman stands into the screen] Yes, they all froze.

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, Ki Chi?

Lieutenant Sussman: Yeah, Ki Chi hit a wall and shattered.

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, and the cat?

Lieutenant Sussman: Oh, the cat is weird. The pressure change caused its face to kind of like suck into itself. Good news is though; he’s alive.

Captain Ed McGovern: That’s not good news! There’s a cat with no face floating around! How bad is it down there?

Lieutenant Sussman: Come, look. [Ed and Sussman go down][Cat with the face looking like a butt hole floats into the screen]

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker appears on the screen] Cat ain’t got no damn face. [Becker leaves]

Lieutenant Sussman: [Ed and Sussman come again] So what do you want me to do?

Captain Ed McGovern: Just go seal off node three and try to find Svetlana.

Lieutenant Sussman: Yes, sir. [Sussman leaves]

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, god! Be aware of your feet, please. Your shoes touched my mouth. Okay. Welcome back. Hey, here’s a fun fact. We are 234 miles above the Earth’s surface. And the view isn’t half bad. Come closer here. Look at that beautiful blue marble Coldef. Isn’t that spect—[Frozon human floats outside of the space ship] Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Svetlana! Oh, hey kids, don’t worry. That cosmonaut is fine. The Russians are used to being cold. Sussman, get on the crane. [Sussman comes and controls the arm of the spaceship]

Lieutenant Sussman: She’s so frozen, she might break.

Captain Ed McGovern: So don’t say that, please. Now, kids, what Lieutenant Sussman is doing is trying to give her just a little nudge back towards the hatch.

Lieutenant Sussman: If I do bring her in, it’ll be in pieces.

Captain Ed McGovern: Try harder, and please don’t say that.

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker appears nodding her head] I’m sorry, kids, this is a bad day for space. [Becker leaves]

Captain Ed McGovern: Okay. Who wants to hear a space joke? What is an astronaut’s favorite drink? A root beer float!

Lieutenant Sussman: Oh, my god, she’s breaking like a saltine.

Captain Ed McGovern: Will you cut the god damn feed!