Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of NBA logo and coronavirus vaccine with headline ‘Unvaccinated players not paid for missing games’ at right top corner.]
Michael Che: The NBA announced that unvaccinated players will not be paid for any games missed due to local vaccine mandates. But that won’t matter. NBA players have a long proud history of losing money because they refuse to use protection.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Caduceus at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: [laughing] Glad I didn’t tell that joke. A new study finds that young adults with depression have a higher risk of dementia later in life. Which explains Billy Eilish’s upcoming album, “Where am I?”[Picture changes to a bucket of paint and a brush]
Purdue University researchers have created the whitest paint on record. The paint is so white, I am his favorite part of SNL.[audience laughing] [Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of eggs at right top corner.]
Michael Che: A group of online SLUS are trying to track down individual who has been pelting Chicago residents with raw eggs. So, good news, Chicago may finally be running out of bullets.[Picture changes to Walt Disney World castle]
This year marks the fifth year anniversary of Disney World. To celebrate turning 50, Disney has opened a new ride ‘Mr. Goofy’s Wild Colonoscopy’.