Idris Elba[Starts with video clips of Kyle Mooney walking down the streets]
Kyle Mooney: You know, I’ve been on SNL for six years now. And it can be such a challenge to find your place on the show. That’s why it’s so amazing when a new cast member gets the chance to shine. [Cut to Kyle Mooney talking to the camera] Unfortunately though, not all first year cast members have easy time with it. It gets kind of where Adam’s at.[Cut to Dress Rehearsal room]
Kenan Thompson: But what if they don’t?
Kyle Mooney: It was all for nothing.
Kenan Thompson: Yes, exactly. Remember.
Kyle Mooney: All right. Cool. I got that. [Kyle Mooney leaves. Adam Zekeman walks to Kenan Thompson]
Adam Zekeman: So, Kenan.
Kenan Thompson: What’s up man?
Adam Zekeman: Hey man, so I’m not in the show again, this week. Just wondering if you got any news for the new guy?
Kenan Thompson: Um, just keep trying. You know? There’s always next week.
Adam Zekeman: Oh, the master speaks wisely. All right brother, love your ass. SNL![Cut to Adam Zekeman talking to camera]
What’s up people, I am Adam Zekeman, one of the new cast members on Saturday Night Live. You might be thinking, “I don’t recognize this guy.” Well, the truth is they haven’t used me too much this year. But it’s still been an amazing journey. From hearing my name in the intro, [Cut to small clip from intro featuring Adam Zekeman] [Cut to Adam Zekeman talking to camera] , to the random awesome sketches they have put me in [Cut to small clip from sketches featuring Adam Zekeman]. And even if you didn’t have a ton of lines last week, there’s still a chance that this week, you’ll write an amazing new character.[Cut to Adam Zekeman in the hallway. Mikey Day is walking.]
Mikey Day. Mickey! Hey man! Would you want to work on that Stoned Cowboy thing?
Mikey Day: Oh, um, I don’t think I can this week.
Adam Zekeman: No problemo! All right, just text me if things change or whatever.
Mikey Day: Yeap!
Adam Zekeman: Friday night, people get busy. But that’s just for the job. [Cut to Adam walks to Leslie Jone’s office door, knocks and opens the door] Hey Leslie.
Leslie Jones: [Bleep] off, Zekeman.[Adam Zekeman closes the door]
Adam Zekeman: Love her. Um, probably just going to end up writing on my own tonight. Easier that way.[Cut to Wardrobe fitting room. Adam Zekeman is wearing waiter costume.]
Kyle Mooney: Hey, that cowboy thing was super funny, so it’s not going.
Adam Zekeman: Um, thanks Mooney. At least I get to play this weird waiter.
Kyle Mooney: I think it’s just a regular waiter. See you man.[Kyle Mooney leaves] [Mikey Day walks to Adam Zekeman]
Mikey Day: Hey, Adam, we’re going to have to lose you from the restaurant piece.
Adam Zekeman: Oh, okay. Is the sketch too long? Or?
Mikey Day: No. Also, is this your crumpled up drawing of you winning an Emmy award? [Mikey Day hands over a paper with rough drawing] Cleaning crew found it in your garbage can. Yeah, I thought it might be your’s.
Adam Zekeman: Oh, I don’t think so. What the hell.
Mikey Day: All right. [Mikey Day leaves] See you dude.
Adam Zekeman: Thanks man.[Cut to rehearsal on stage]
Well, I got cut from the sketch. That’s real funny. But that happens for the best. [Cut to Adam Zekeman talking to the camera] Well, usually not the best. But the good news is, this week is also the SNL winter carnival [Cut to clips from carnival] where we play carnival games and can potentially win a spot on the show. So, this might be my last chance.[Cut to Kyle Mooney receiving a cotton candy in the carnival]
Kyle Mooney: Thank you.[Cut to Aidy Bryant is playing a game to hit balloon with bullseye needles. Beck Bennett is watching Aidy Bryant]
Beck Bennett: Hah! Maybe try hitting one.[Aidy Bryant hits Beck Bennett with the bullseye needle. Beck Bennett is hurt.]
Aidy Bryant: Bitch![Aidy Bryant walks away] [Cut to Leslie Jones]
Leslie Jones: The winter carnival is always dope. There’s games and cotton candy. And I always get to punch some weird ass juggler.[Cut to Adam Zekeman walking in the carnival]
Adam Zekeman: Wow. Those are some of the most colorful balloons I’ve ever seen.[Cut to Alex Moffat]
Alex Moffat: Test your strength and maybe you could win a part on the show. [Adam walks to Alex Moffatt to try winning the part] Oh, the Zekeman.[Everyone is looking at Adam Zekeman]
Adam Zekeman: Well. Here goes nothing. [Adam Zekeman wins the game]
Wow![Everyone is cheering for Adam Zekeman]
Original Weekend Update character. It’s my time to shine, baby.
Kyle Mooney: Nice work, Zekeman.[Cut to set of Weekend Update. Adam Zekeman is there as Stoned Cowboy with Colin Jost.]
Colin Jost: Yeah, the Stoned Cowboy. I think you might be a little too stoned.
Adam Zekeman: No way, amigo. [Cut to Adam Zekeman] My eyes are just red from all the, um, trail dust.[Cut to Adam Zekeman walking out of the stage door. Everyone is cheering and clapping for Adam Zekeman] [Cut to Kyle Mooney and Alex Moffat walks to Adam Zekeman]
Kyle Mooney: It’s over Adam. I know you switched the malice.[Idris Elba joins Kyle Mooney and Alex Moffat]
Idris Elba: You dirty little rat. You stole my bid.
Adam Zekeman: I can explain.
Idris Elba: You’re going to jail, mate.[Two policemen walk in and arrest Adam Zekeman]
Adam Zekeman: I was just trying to get on the show. Please. I’m sorry.
Kyle Mooney: You lying sack of [Bleep].[Cut to Kyle Mooney talking to the camera]
So, obviously we had to send Adam to jail and unfortunately he passed away few hours later. But the good news is, we got a new cast member. Ladies and gentleman, meet Coby Murphy.[Coby Murphy joins]
Coby Murphy: [Coby Murphy acting weird] We think it’s going to be fun rest of the season. I don’t know.
Kyle Mooney: Yeah, it’s good.