Chris Hemsworth[Starts with a group of girls at a restaurant]
Aidy: You guys, I meant to tell you I finally saw Magic Mike.
Kate: Oh my god, Megan, did you love it?
Aidy: Yes! Channing Tatum is the hottest.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Vanessa: Excuse me, that is rude to Zac Efron. Have you seen him in the Lucky One?
Cecily: kay, okay. Neither of them hold a candle to Bradley Cooper and, um, anything?
Aidy: True.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: What about Chris Hemsworth in Thor?[Cut to everybody]
Aidy: Honestly, totally, totally good call, Claire.
Cecily: Yeah, a hunky Australian in sexy armor? Yes please![Cut to Claire]
Claire: Oh, totally. I’d rather see out of the armor. Am I right bitches?[Cut to everybody laughing] [Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Kate: Oh, my god, you know who else is hot? Paul Rudd in Clueless.
Aidy: Okay, yes. That is classic hot.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Yeah, he’s pretty good but he’s no Chris Hemsworth in Thor. That scene where he comes home from battling and has his shirt off. Hmm, yum-yum-yum-yum.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: Wow, you really know a lot about that movie Thor.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: And that sexy red cape of his always brushing against his big butt. Oh, to be that cape, am I right bitches?[Cut to everybody. Others don’t want to agree]
Oh! Okay, bathroom time. BRB.[Claire leaves for bathroom] [Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: Hey guys, crazy question. Is our friend Claire actually Chris Hemsworth?[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Aidy: Well, what do you mean?[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Vanessa: Like, the movie star?
Cecily: Yeah. I mean, I could be wrong and that could just be our friend Claire, but it kind of seems like it’s Chris Hemsworth in disguise.[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Kate: But we’ve been friends with Claire for years.
Aidy: Well, wait, have we?
Kate: Actually, coming to think of it, I’ve never met Claire before today.[Cut to everybody. Claire comes back.]
Claire: I’m back bitches.
The rest: Hi, Claire.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Are wt still talking about that hunk Chris Hemsworth?[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: Sort of.
Vanessa: You know, I heard he’s making a third Thor movie. It’s like, do we really need three?[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Ah, yes we do, so shut up. I’d watch Chris in a thousand Thors as long as he has that big hard hammer. Am I right bitches?[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Aidy: We don’t really call each other that.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: Hey Claire, can we talk about something?[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Oh, I know what we can talk about. You know how most Hollywood actors use makeup to define their abs? I heard not Chris Hemsworth. His abs are the real deal.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: I believe that. He is pretty ripped.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Uh, pretty? Try ‘very’.[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Kate: I heard he lost a lot of weight for that new movie, Dick movie though.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: Could have fooled me. He still looks huge. He’s bigger than Dang Body John. No wonder Bobby Dick wants to eat him, he looks so freaking delicious.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Vanessa: You know who is actually super delicious? Liam Hemsworth.[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Aidy: Oh, yeah. He’s definitely the hotter Hemsworth.[Cut to Claire]
Claire: [coughing] No way! No, Liam is gross. I heard he breast fed till he was four.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Vanessa: Where would you have heard that, Claire?[Cut to everybody]
Claire: Oops, there goes my pesky bladder again. To the bathroom.[Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: Okay, I’m sure now more than ever that our friend Claire is actually Chris Hemsworth in a dress and a wig.[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Kate: Why would Christ Hemsworth do this? He’s a very famous actor.
Aidy: I mean, that would make his insane![Cut to Vanessa and Cecily]
Cecily: You’re right. It’s definitely our friend Claire. You know, Claire from college or growing up or something.[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Kate: Oh, look, Claire got a text. [read’s Claire’s text] Hah! It’s from Robert Downey Jr.
Aidy: Girls, does Claire know Robert Downey Jr.?
Kate: Ah, here’s a better question. Does Claire exist?[Cut to everybody. Claire comes back.]
Claire: I’m back bitches. Did you miss me bitches?[Cut to Aidy and Kate]
Aidy: Okay, Claire. We have a question for you.
Kate: Claire, are you Chris Hemsworth in a wig and dress?[Cut to everybody] [Claire is laughing, but stops in a moment]
Chris Hemsworth: I am.[Chris Hemsworth takes his wig off.]
Everyone these days– Okay, I guess I just wanted to see if girls still liked me. Everyone these days keeps talking about Chris Pratt and Ryan Gosling and freaking Liam from the Hunger Games. I just needed to know. Does anyone still find little old C. Hemmy attractive. [Cut to everybody] Am I still a hunk.
Cecily: Of course, Chris.
Vanessa: You’re a hunk.
Kate: You’ll always be a hunk.
Aidy: No, this was bad and you’re weird now.[The End]