Alina… Kate McKinnon

Taran Killam

Venessa Bayer

[Starts with Alina and Taran looking at eggs in a heated box.]

Alina: Any signs of life?

Taran: Zip. Maybe we need a stronger incubator.

Alina: Patience, honey. Nobody said urban farming would be easy.

Taran: It’s not just not easy, it’s tedious.

[Venessa looking from above the fence]

Venessa: It doesn’t have to be. Come on, take a look.

[Alina and Taran walk to see what Venessa is going to show]

[Cut to Alina and Taran looking from above the fence.]

[Cut to Venessa with many chicken around her.]

I gathered all these just this morning.

[She has a lot of eggs.]

[Cut to Alina and Taran]

Alina: Wow, what’s your secret?

[cut to Venessa]

Venessa: I’ll show you. Meet me in my house, now.

[Alina and Taran jump off the fence.]

[Cut to Alina, Taran and Venessa inside the house]

Let me introduce you to Nest-Spresso.

Taran: I’ve heard of Espresso for a fast cup o coffee.

Venessa: Yeah, but this is Nest-Spresso. For the instant incubation of a fertilized egg.

Alina: [surprised] No!

Venessa: Yeah! Just watch. You just pop the flowing cased fertilized egg pot in a top chamber. Then you close the lid, lock it, and press the button that says incubate.

Taran: It’s happening now!

[Cut to the Nest-Spresso machine. A chick comes out of it.]

[Cut to Alina, Taran and Venessa]

Alina: Wow! Now that’s a cute little chick.

Taran: How does it work?

Venessa: I don’t know that part.

Taran: Ooh! I thought you’d know more about it.

Venessa: I wish I did. It’s really great. Here, you try one Alina.

Alina: How bout this dark one?

Venessa: Yeah, those are good. Make sure you put it in right side up, not up side down.

[Alina is using the Nest-Spresso]

Or else, you’ll kill the chick. You’ll just get a cup full of bones.

Taran: Yikes! Why?

Venessa: I don’t know. I wish I did.

[Cut to the Nest-Spresso machine. A black chick comes out of it.]

Taran: Oh! Honey, we have to get one of these. Let me try one.

Alina: This must have improved your life so much.

[Taran is using the Nest-Spresso]

Venessa: Yeah, it’s number one.

[Machine is making different sound]

Taran: Oh! That doesn’t sound good.

[Cut to the Nest-Spresso machine. Bones comes out of it.]

[Cut to Alina, Taran and Venessa]

Venessa: Yeah, you did it wrong. Just put in another one on top of that one. I don’t know why it does that.

[Taran is using the Nest-Spresso again]

[Cut to the Nest-Spresso machine. A white chick comes out of it.]

[Cut to Nest-Spresso video bumper]

Male voice: Nest-Spresso. When you need your chicken fixed. Now!