Michael Che[Starts with Colin Jost in his Weekend Update set]
Colin Jost: Well, Mother’s day is tomorrow. [Laughter] Here with some thoughts is our own Pete Davidson. [Cheers and applause] [Pete Davidson joins Colin Jost] Pete Davidson: Hey, man. So this is going to be a special Mother’s day for me because this year she’s not just my mom, but she’s also my roommate. [Laughter]
Colin Jost: Oh, wow. That’s great. So, you’re living with your mom?
Pete Davidson: You don’t have to say it like I’m a loser like – [Cut to Pete] I know what people think. You know, they see you on TV and magazines and stuff and they think, “Wow, that guy must have his own place.” [Laughter] You know? Nope. But it’s not like I moved into her house. I just bought a house with my mom like a winner. [Laughter] [Cut to Pete and Colin]
Colin Jost: Right. I mean, I’ve heard of people buying houses for their mom.
Pete Davidson: Yeah. I didn’t do that, if I buy a house, [Cut to Pete] I’m going to live in it. But I told her it’s not like a mother-son thing. Now we’re just homeys.[Cut to Pete and Colin] Colin Jost: Homeys, okay, so she’s staying out of your business?
Pete Davidson: For the most part. But I won’t lie. It’s weird to get caught masturbating at my age. [Cut to Pete] Because when you’re like 15 and your mom catches you, it’s embarrassing. But on some level when she closes the door she’s proud. You know? She’s like, “Wow, my boy is growing up.” [Cut to Pete and Colin] [Pete looks at Colin] You know? [Laughter]
Colin Jost: Yeah, I don’t know, man. I don’t know if that’s how moms feel.[Cut to Pete] Pete Davidson: No, but when you’re 25 and your mom catches you masturbating, it’s like this should not have happened. Who just walks into the kitchen without knocking? Thankfully, that’s a lesson my mother and sister finally learned. [laughter] [Cut to Pete and Colin]
Colin Jost: Your sister lives there too?
Pete Davidson: Yeah, and she’s 21 and still living at home. Isn’t that sad? [laughter] [Cut to Pete] It’s weird living with my mom and sister because sometimes I’ll see a strange dude in the house and I don’t know if he’s some dirt bag preying on my sister of the saint who’s going to take my mom off my hands. [laughter] But she really is the best and I put her through a lot so I’d like to bring her out. Please welcome the greatest roommate in the world, Amy Davidson, everybody.[Amy Davidson joins Pete]
Amy Davidson: Hi everybody.[Cut to Amy, Pete and Colin] Colin Jost: Hi, Mrs. Davidson.
Amy Davidson: Hi Colin. Happy mother’s day.
Colin Jost: Thank you. [laughter]
Pete Davidson: Hey man, be nice. It’s my mom.
Colin Jost: What do you guys have planned for tomorrow?
Pete Davidson: What do you mean? I put her on TV. This is it. [Cut to Amy and Pete] You never know. Jon Hamm could be single and watching.
Amy Davidson: I’d also settle for James Spader.
Pete Davidson: All right. You’d settle for a ninja turtle. I just need a new dad.[Cut to Amy, Pete, Colin and Michael]
Colin Jost: Pete and his mom, everyone.
Pete Davidson: Happy mother’s day.
Colin Jost: For Weekend Update, I’m Colin Jost.
Michael Che: I’m Michael Che. Good night!