Ventriloquist

Announcer… Alex Moffat

Wally Culpepper… Will Farrell

Kenan Thompson

Cecily Strong

[Starts with an announcer at the stage of Hi-Hat lounge] [applause]

Announcer: All right folks, we’re just getting warmed up tonight at the Hi-hat lounge . Please welcome to the stage Wally Culpepper and his little pal Chippy.

[Announcer leaves the stage. Wally Culpepper comes to the stage with his puppet.] [applause]

Wally: Hey! Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I am indeed Wally Culpepper and this little stick of firewood is Chippy. Chippy, would you like to say “Hi” to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen tonight?[Chippy is the puppet]

Chippy: I sure would. When are they showing up?

Wally: Boy, Chippy, sounds like you might have gotten up on the wrong side of bed.

Chippy: I thought so, too. But your wife didn’t mind.

[Cut to audience laughing] [Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: Now, Chippy. That’s not very polite.

Chippy: You try being polite when you’ve got a man’s hand up your butt.

[Cut to audience laughing] [Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: Chippy. This is a family show. Try to keep it G-rated.

Chippy: You try keeping it G-rated when you’ve got a man’s hand up your butty.

[Cut to the audience confused and not laughing] [Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: Okay. Okay. We get the point. So do you have any plans for the weekend, Chippy?

Chippy: You try having plans this weekend when you’ve got a man’s hand up your butt. I’m not trying to be funny. This man’s entire hand is up my butt.

[Cut to the audience confused and not laughing]

Kenan: Hey, man. Cut it out.

[Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: You see, Chippy, the audience doesn’t appreciate your high jinx.

Chippy: Don’t listen to him! You are witnessing a crime. And you are all complicit. Help! Help! This grown man has his entire hand up my butt!

[Cut to the audience]

Kenan: Hey, get your hand out the little man’s butt!

[Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: I’m sorry?

[Cut to the audience]

Cecily: He said get your hand out of his butt. He’s clearly not into this. Boo!

[Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: Ladies and gentlemen, please. It’s a puppet. It’s just part of the act. I set up a joke and have the puppet deliver a sassy comeback, okay? Watch. Hey, Chippy, tell them what you did last night.

Chippy: I spent hours hemorrahaging on the toilet, you monster. My insides are pulp.

[Cut to the audience]

Cecily: Was that the punch line? Honey, do something.

Kenan: You take your hand out of the puppet’s butt. You are killing him.

Chippy: Just let me go!

[audience booing] [Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: All right, all right! Everybody cool it. I’ll take my hand out. All right? And I’ll show you how ridiculous you’re all acting. [Wally puts the puppet on the stool.] See? It’s just a puppet, okay? Now, can I go on with the show now please, sir?

[Cut to the audience]

Kenan: Chippy, you good man? [The puppet doesn’t speak] All right. I guess.

[Cut to Wally and Chippy]

Wally: All right. Thank you. Now, let’s have some fun. [Wally takes a jar of lubricant and puts it all over his hand. Then he puts his hand inside the puppet.]

Chippy: Ah! Ah! Ah! That never gets easier.

Wally: Not with you as a partner, it doesn’t. Hit it, Leon.

[music playing]

You say potato and I say potahto.

Chippy: My name is Lewis Maldanado. Someone please call my wife.

Electric Shoes | Season 44 Episode 16

Lyle Woods… Kyle Mooney

Ida May Avery… Leslie Jones

Jarvis Fillmore… Kenan Thompson

Announcer… Sandra Oh

[Starts with Roots of Rock intro] [Cut to Lyle Woods in his set]

Lyle Woods: What’s up? Lyle Woods coming at you through the magic of the airwaves. And this is the Roots of Rock. What a wild ride it’s been. Tonight we look at unsung pioneer blues. [Cut to picture of Ida May Avery] Ida May Avery was called the muse of Memphis. [Cut to Lyle Woods] She got her first piano out of an abandoned church from  an old Chrysler Imperial. In 1966 she was invited to perform on the British pop show ‘Wing Dig’. It was memorable night of music that also stax music artist, [Cut to a picture of Jarvis Fillmore] Jarvis Fillmore. [Cut to Lyle Woods] That footage was never available until now. Check it out.

[Cut to black and white video of Jarvis Fillmore playing]

Jarvis Fillmore: ♪Electric shoes, they’re on my feet, they feel so sweet, out in the streets
♪Electric shoes, they make you move, they make you groove, electric shoes
♪they goin rocka- shaka- maybe even daka
♪my electric shoes!

Thank you very much.

[Jarvis Fillmore leaves the stage and  the announcer comes to the stage]

Announcer: Jarvis Fillmore, wasn’t that fantastic ladies and gentlemen? Jarvis Fillmore.

Jarvis Fillmore: lectric-lectric-lectric-lectric

[Jarvis Fillmore comes to the stage again]

♪Electric shoes, they make you move, they make you groove, electric shoes
♪a thousand watts, is what I got, and that’s a lot up in my shoes.
♪and that’s so bright, so light, a little bit tight
♪my electric shoes!

Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

[Jarvis Fillmore leaves the stage] [Cut to the announcer with the audience]

Announcer: Just brilliant. Jarvis Fillmore again, ladies and gentlemen. he was a trip, wasn’t he?

Alex Moffat: Incredible. You’re brilliant mate.

Heidi Gardner: Love you, Doll!

Announcer: Indeed. Very, very nice. Now he have an artist—

Jarvis Fillmore: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick–

Announcer: Oh, he’s still going!

Jarvis Fillmore: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

[Jarvis jumps in the middle of the crowd here and there]

♪I’m over here
♪Now, I’m over here
♪Now I’m over here
♪Now I’m right here coz I’m so quick
♪And I’m so slick
♪because I got lectric-lectric-lectric-lectric
♪electric electric shoes,

[Jarvis walks up to the stage]

♪they make you move, they make you groove
♪go plug them in, it’s insane
♪tic, tic, tic, tic, tok, tok, tok, tok,
♪tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok
♪my electric shoes

Thank you very much, everybody! Thank you.

[Cut to the announcer with the audience]

Announcer: Jarvis Fillmore smashed it, didn’t he?

Jarvis Fillmore: Lectric-lectric-lectric-lectric

[Jarvis Fillmore walks to the stage again]

♪Electric shoes, they make you move, they make you groove

Thank you very much! Thank you very much.

[Jarvis Fillmore walks out of the stage again] [Cut to Lyle Woods]

Lyle Woods: Jarvis Fillmore played 17 encores that night. But if anyone could follow him, it was Ida May Avery. Take a look.

[Cut to the Announcer and Ida May Avery on the stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it is a privilege to have an American blues artist Ida May Avery here with us tonight. Performing her powerful song ‘Deliver us to the mountain top’.

Ida May Avery: That’s right. I–

Jarvis Fillmore: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

[Jarvis Fillmore walks to the stage again]

♪Electric shoes, they make you move, they make you groove, they never snooze
♪never stop you, they rock you, never ever stop you
boom-shaka-laka-laka-lak
♪Electric shoes, they better move, and take you to, they never snooze
♪and that’s so bright, so light, a little bit tight
♪tic, tic, tic, tic, tok, tok, tok, tok,
♪tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok
♪oh! my electric shoes

Thank you very much! Good night!

[Jarvis Fillmore leaves the stage. Announcer and Ida May walk up on the stage]

Announcer: Tremendous! Jarvis Fillmore, ladies and gentlemen. Now, we only have time for –

Jarvis Fillmore: ♪Power it up, power it up, power it up! Power, power, power!

[Jarvis Fillmore walks to the stage again]

 ♪Power, power! Power, power! Electric shoes, electric shoes 

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen!

[Jarvis Fillmore leaves the stage] [Cut to Lyle Woods]

Lyle Woods: Unfortunately, it took another two hours for Ida May Avery to finally get to perform after Jarvis Fillmore suffered what doctors called blowing out one of his balls. We’ll have that footage on the next show. Keep it weird, people.

[Drums roll. Jarvis Fillmore joins Lyle Wood’s set]

Jarvis Fillmore: ♪Electric shoes you never lose
♪I’m here 15 years later just like a terminator