Markie… Kyle
JP… Daniel Kaluuya
[Starts with a YouTube video of Youtubers’ channel]Markie: Yo, wad up, YouTube? Markie Monroe here with Prank Posse. Yo, it’s been a crazy couple of days here at Markie mansion. Yesterday, we hit you up with that fire host bidet prank on TikTok where me and my boy JP just blasted people and they got super mad at us.
JP: Yo, their faces, bro.
Markie: JP, come on, man! But today, yo, the craziest thing happened. This morning– I can’t even. Y’all just gotta watch this video.
[Cut to Markie in the kitchen having cereal]Yo, breakfast time! Apple Jacks Head. [Markie pours cereal in a bowl] Wait, what the hell? Yo! Are these mouse bones? Why they got mouse bones in here?
JP: Ay, what’s going on? Dude, that looks like mouse bones.
Markie: Yo, JP, I don’t know what to do! Whoo! I’m mad.
JP: Yo, the cereal company was about to make you eat a damn mouse.
Markie: That’s illegal!
JP: Damn!
Markie: Okay. What would you do in this situation? Would you eat the bones? Hit us up in the comments and let’s get #mousebonestheHELLL? trending. Round up with that noise. You know what time it is. Milk fight!
[cut to Markie and his friends throwing milk at each other.] [The video is paused. Then another video is played. Markie is just sitting on his couch.]Markie: Hi. It’s me. So, the last 24 hours have been nuts. Our mouse bones video blew up, but with all that attention, some things from my past have come to light. and I would like to address those allegations now. They’re all true and they are all very bad. I’ve been bad to girlfriends, best friends, coworkers, parents, pets, and frankly, my god. But I want you all to know, I am sorry. Just know that I am learning and growing as we speak. Peace.
[The video is paused. Then another video is played. Markie is planning to prank his friend JP.]Markie: Yo, we’re back. My boy JP is passed to sleep and we’re about to prank him. Let’s do this.
[Markie with his friends carry a TV and throw it on JP from one floor up.]Oho! Prank party!
Friend: Oh, I think we should call 911.
[The video is paused. Then another video is played. Markie is just sitting on his couch.]Markie: Hey guys, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for dropping a TV on JP’s head. It did not even occur to me that I could hurt my friend. I am so sorry. And I know a lot of you thought my last apology was insincere. You are right. I was lying. But this time, I mean it. [crying] It was cool and it was funny, but it was wrong. That’s why out of respect, we are going to delay the release of ‘the tricking JP into kissing my penis’ video to next Thursday. That’s just how it has to be. Love you all.
[The video is paused. Then another video is played. Markie is just sitting on his couch.]Markie: [sobbing] Hey. So, as you all know, tricking JP into kissing my penis video came out and y’all were not happy about it. I even lost my endorsements from Samurai Vapes and Cinabon. And that’s what hurts the most. Y’all have also let me know that some of my past videos could be considered problematic and/or crimes. For example, Shrek costume at funeral, and of course, racist fart on bus. Bottomline, I’m sorry. If you like this apology and you believe it, please check out my other apology videos.
[Cut to JP planning to do a revenge prank on Markie]JP: Shh. We about to prank Markie.
[JP walks to Markie and hits him hard with a TV.]Prank Posse!
[Markie does not wake up]Oh! He is not moving. [sad music playing] I would like to apologize. Bye.
[JP runs out.]