Male voice: It’s back. The Arby’s 5 for 10. That’s right. You get five Arby’s roast beef sandwiches for only $10. That’s five stacked juicy roast beef sandwiches for just 10 bucks. What do you have to say about that?
Cecily: I guess all I have to say is how?
Bowen: Yeah, that just seems like a lot of roast beef sandwiches for $10.
Male voice: It’s five heaping piles of tender roast beef for only 10 measly dollars. Can you even believe it?
Keke: Honestly, no.
Mikey: We’re struggling to understand the physics of how this much roast beef is $10.
Keke: Because isn’t one roast beef sandwich normally at least $5?
Male voice: Ha-ha-ha. A bet you never thought $10 to get you five mountains of roast beef.
Cecily: That’s exactly what we’re saying. We don’t think it’s possible.
Bowen: I just Googled roast beef prices at the grocery store and it sells for $11 a pound. But you’re saying…
Male voice: We’re giving you pound after pound of roast beef for just $10.
Keke: Yes. See, that’s what’s throwing us off, because it roast beef is $11 a pound. I mean, I know bread super cheap, but it’s not negative dollars.
Mikey: Arby’s is a for profit business, right? Like your goal is to make money? Because I couldn’t make five roast beef sandwiches at home for $10.
Keke: I don’t think I could make five roast beef sandwiches for less than $30.
Mikey: So I guess we’re wondering Where are you getting all this roast beef?
Male voice: Arby’s we have the meats!
Keke: No, no, no, no. That don’t answer the question. We know you have the meats. But where are you getting the meats?
Mikey: Also what kind of meats?
Male voice: And over at Taco Bell, don’t miss the new $5 box.
Mikey: Wait what?
Male voice: You get a chalupa supreme, a beefy five layer burrito, cinnamon twists, nacho cheese and chips and the 20 ounce soda for only $5.
Cecily: Oh my God. Is that real?
Male voice: Look it up. It’s the $5 box, only at Taco Bell?
Bowen: Okay, I don’t like that you change the subject to Taco Bell. But now I’m worried about this $5 box too.
Keke: You get multiple burritos, and cinnamon twists, and chips and nacho cheese and giant soda for $5?
Mikey: How can that physically happen? I mean each full burrito is like 70 cents.
Male voice: So Arby’s is looking pretty good by comparison, right?
Cecily: No. This all sounds horrible. Yeah, I thought the four for four menu at Wendy’s was insane.
Kenan: Oh, what’s that?
Cecily: That’s a full cheeseburger and order of chicken tenders, fries and a soda for $4.
Kenan: Sounds suspicious.
Bowen: Hold on. Ving Rames? You do the voiceover in the store?
Kenan: That’s right. I’m physically present at every Arby’s location. Arby’s, we have the rains.
Cecily: Sir, and you think the Wendy’s deal sounds suspicious?
Bowen: You’re the ones offering five giant…
Kenan: Towers.
Bowen: Of roast beef for $10.
Mikey: How many sandwiches do you get from one cow?
Kenan: Oh, I don’t know. A million.
Keke: We’d honestly rather to pay more and get less roast beef. Then we would be so worried about where it’s coming from.
Kenan: Okay, so how much? How much?
Bowen: I don’t know. I guess to roast beef sandwiches for $12?
Cecily: I think three for 15.
Bowen: You’re gonna eat three roast beef sandwiches?
Cecily: Hey! [slaps Bowen] Do not shame me. Not in my debut Arby’s commercial.
Male voice: Arby’s new three for 15. You’ll pay a little more, but at least you’ll understand how it could physically be possible.