Grammy… Aidy Bryant
Heather… Cecily Strong
Brad… Mikey Day
Roy… Benedict Cumberbatch[Starts with three ladies planning a surprise party]
Vanessa: Okay, Heather just texted, she and Grammy are outside. Everyone hide.
Kate: Okay. Okay.[Everyone hides] [Cut to Grammy and Heather getting in.]
Grammy: Oh, I’m just saying it was so cold in the restaurant that I ruined my dinner.
Heather: Okay, okay. Grammy, we are all so happy that you’re getting remarried at 83.
Grammy: Okay, Heather, why are you doing a speech at me in the dark?
Heather: I know you didn’t want a bachelorette party, so we had to make it a…[ladies who were hiding come out]
All: Surprise![Grammy is shocked]
Kate: Ha-ha! Look at her. She had no idea. Ha-ha-ha.[Grammy is still shocked]
Melissa: Hurry, hurry. Get her in the chair.
All: [hooting] In the chair! In the chair![Grammy slowly takes Heather to the chair. But Heather dies of shock but nobody notices it.]
Melissa: Alright, that’s better. Here we go. [putting a party-glasses and props on her]
Vanessa: Ha-ha-ha. Gentlemen! She is ready.[Two young men dressed as construction workers walk in with a boombox.]
Brad: Hey, we’re from the construction company.
Roy: We have a delivery of some heavy wood.
Kate: Ha-ha! [pointing at Grammy] Ester is speechless. We finally found a way to shut her up.
Roy: Hey Brad, crank a tune.
Brad: Oh, yeah.[Brad turns on a rock song and they start stripping for Grammy]
Heather: Alright![Brad and Roy throw their shirts on Grammy’s face. It’s stuck there.]
No, no, no. No hiding, Grammy. [Heather pulls the shirts off her face]
Brad: Hey! Should we get Grammy a fun sandwich, Roy?
Roy: Let’s do it.[Heather and Melissa are so excited] [Brad and Roy push Grammy’s head back and forth on their crotches.] [Ladies are cheering]
Kate: Oh, biscuits! This is wild!
Vanessa: I know. Grammy, are you loving it?[The gentlemen are twerking on Grammy’s face]
Brad: I think she worked up quite an apetite. Roy?
Roy: Yeah! Well, I’m hungry?
Brad: Let’s get her some dessert.[Brad sprays creme on his belly and rubs it on Grammy’s face]
Yeah! Yeah![Roy starts to spray creme on Grammy’s mouth]
Roy: Eat em all.
Brad: You want cherry on that bad boy?
Roy: Do it! You know I like cherry.[Brad puts a cherry on top of creme that’s on Grammy’s mouth]
Brad: Woo. Yeah, get it.[Roy eats the cherry off of Grammy’s mouth]
Roy: Oh, my favorite flavor, her mouth.
Melissa: Hey boys, give us a taste.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. Wooo![Brad and Roy start twerking on other ladies]
Kate: Oh my goodness! Ester! Ester! I’m still in your man over here. Look out.
Heather: Oh my god, look, Grammy’s so embarrassed that she’s trying to hide.[Grammy us just slipping down from the chair. She falls on the floor. She is lying facing down.]
Kate: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I have never seen anything like this.[Brad and Roy rolls Grammy’s body over]
Heather: Grammy, get up. Just have fun.
Brad: Yes, stop hiding from us. We actually like her on the floor.
Roy: Yeah. She can be like, the spar for our full body workout.
Brad: Yeah.[Brad and Roy do the workout on Grammy] [Melissa and Heather are very excited]
Vanessa: Grammy, when Herman hears about this, you’re dead.[Brad pulls Grammy up]
Brad: Come here, baby. Ooh! Up!
Kate: You know, I really love what your generation has done with this bachelorette party.
Brad: Oh my god! Ma’am? Ma’am?
Vanessa: What’s wrong?
Roy: Um, your grammy is like, our onethousandth customer.
Brad: Which means, she gets a free dance from the world series champion, Chicago Cubs.[Three more gentlemen enter the room] [cheers and applause]
Heather: Oh, my god! Those are the real Chicago Cubs!
Gentleman: What’s up, girls? Who wants to hear the Grammy slam?
Ross: Don’t worry Grandma, Grandpa Ross is gonna take good care of you.
Gentleman: It’s your lucky night, we’re about to pull a triple header.
Brad: Ooh! You heard the Cubs. Let’s play ball.[music playing] [All the gentlemen are stripping for Grammy]