Weekend Update- Bailey Gismert

Michael Che

Bailey Gismert… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: Oscar nominations were announced this week. Here with award’s predictions is a star of her own YouTube channel ‘Bailey At The Movies’, please welcome teen film critic, Bailey Gismert.

[Bailey Gismert slides in] [cheers and applause]

Bailey Gismert: [awkwardly] Um, hi.

Michael Che: How are you doing, Bailey? So, we’re glad to have you. I’m a big fan of your YouTube channel.

Bailey Gismert: Okay. I didn’t realize that you knew, like, everything about me. Alright. Michael Che is my stalker. Ha-ha. I’m just kidding. I know that you’re not. Not. Sorry.

[Bailey Gismert is acting very awkward]

Michael Che: So, Bailey, let’s hear your thoughts about this year’s Oscar movies.

Bailey Gismert: Okay, thirsty? Okay, Shape of water was like– I don’t know. It was like, weird. It was just like so weird.

Michael Che: Yeah. I guess it was kind of out there. Um, what else did you see?

Bailey Gismert: Okay. So, um, I saw ‘Three Billboards’.  It’s weird too. I don’t know. But, lady put up the billboards and I was like, “Okay, random.”

Michael Che: Okay. Well, you know what’s getting a lot of buzz is “Call Me By Your Name.”

Bailey Gismert: [smiling] Stop. [laughing and blushing] Stop.

Michael Che: Okay.

Bailey Gismert: I actually liked that one a lot. That was really good.

Michael Che: You did? What about Armie Hammer? You like Hammer?

Bailey Gismert: [giggling] Stop it. Oh, my god. Yes, I liked him. I didn’t like him, like him. I just like, thought he was goo in it.

Michael Che: It looks like you might have a little crush on him.

Bailey Gismert: No! Oh, my god. I never said that. Just because I’m friends with a lot of guys doesn’t mean I like him. Like, I try. I do. I try to be friends with girls. And I get along with guys better.

Michael Che: Yeah.

Bailey Gismert: [shaky voice] And if Armie Hammer sees this, it’s gonna be like, so bad.

Michael Che: Oh, hey, sorry Bailey. I didn’t mean to make you upset.

Bailey Gismert: I’m not up– [Bailey Gismert slowly wipes away her tears] I’m not upset. [sobbing] I’m just like, really dealing with a lot. And like, I know you guys only have to this show once a week. But I’m like, so stressed every night. With like, the play or yearbook. Like, I have to bowl with my dad. I had mono like, the whole year. And that’s why I didn’t even get to go on the French trip to cut back.

Michael Che: Look, Bailey. You did a great job. We’re all really proud of you. Honestly.

Bailey Gismert: [smiling] Okay, cool. Then if you like this and you like my reviews, then click the button below to like and subscribe.

Michael Che: Hey, Bailey, this isn’t YouTube. This is live television.

Bailey Gismert: Okay, random. What even is that?

Michael Che: Bailey Gismert, everybody.

Bailey Gismert: Ladybird sucks. Directors should be mad.

Michael Che: Whoa! For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.

Weekend Update: Bailey Gismert on Summer 2019 Movies | Season 44 Episode 20

Michael Che

Bailey Gismert… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]

Michael Che: Avenger’s Endgame has made over $2.4 billion worldwide. A strong kickoff for summer blockbusters. Here to comment is teen movie critic and star of her very own youtube channel Bailey at the movies, please welcome Bailey Gismert.

[Bailey joins Michael]

Hi, Bailey.

Bailey Gismert: Okay.

Michael Che: Bailey, are you going to look at me?

Bailey Gismert: Okay. Hi, Michael. How are you? Are you fed now?

Michael Che: All right, Bailey. So I heard you got to preview a lot of summer movies. That’s pretty cool.

Bailey Gismert: Yeah. Like so I got to see the live action remake of ‘Aladdin’.

[Cut to Bailey. There is a picture of Aladdin movie’s poster at the right side. And to be honest, I thought it was random. Like, I’ve never seen any of that happen in real life. No. Like, okay, first of all, that’s not what a lamp looks like. It’s not. It’s not. And like also you’re like rubbing it? Ew, Aladdin, you’re so random.

[Cut to Michael and Bailey]

Michael Che: All right. Well, why don’t you tell me about a movie you actually liked?

Bailey Gismert: Okay, yeah. [Cut to Bailey. There is a picture of Detective Pikachu movie’s poster.] I guess ‘Detective Pikachu’ was like lit. Like, because like that movie makes sense to me like, right? Because Pikachu was so good at pokemon. But now he’s working up the ranks to detective. Like I don’t know. Like, Pikachu can get it.

[Cut to Michael and Bailey]

Michael Che: Wait, Baily, do you like Pikachu?

Bailey Gismert: Yeah, like as a detective.

Michael Che: Well, it sounds like you have a crush on him.

Bailey Gismert: Okay, stop. Don’t—[Cut to Bailey] Michael, don’t. Don’t. I’m serious. Okay? Yes, he’s smart. He’s hot. He has a good job. And yeah, like short guys are usually funny. But if you say I like Pikachu he’s going to find out because he’s like a really good detective.

[Cut to Michael and Bailey]

Michael Che: Bailey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.

Bailey Gismert: No—I’m fine. [Bailey is breathing heavy] I’m just like—running on fumes. And I know like know that it’s kind of an easy week for you because like the Jonas Brothers wrote most of the show. [Cut to Bailey] But I actually do like everything for myself. Like spirit club. And comb my horse. And like on top of those two things, like at some point this week I have to like walk an old woman.

[Cut to Michael and Bailey]

Michael Che: Walk an old woman? Why?

Bailey Gismert: For my service project. Michael, God. [Cut to Bailey. Bailey is very upset.] And like on top of all that the senior lock-in ended early because like a girl slept on the bleachers and fell through a crack. She didn’t die but she’s like not going to college.

[Cut to Michael and Bailey]

Michael Che: Yeah. Well, Bailey, I think it’ll all work out. You’ve got a bright future.

Bailey Gismert: Okay, suck-up. If you’re thirsty for me as Michael Che is, like and subscribe below.

Michael Che: Bailey, this isn’t Youtube. This is live television.

Bailey Gismert: Oh, my god. Cool. Like a play?

Michael Che: Bailey Gismert, everybody.