The View Pete Buttigieg | Season 44 Episode 21

Whoopie Goldberg… Leslie Jones

Abby Huntsman… Cecily Strong

Joe Behar… Kate McKinnon

Ana Navarro… Melissa Villaseñor

Meghan McCain… Aidy Bryant

Pete Buttigieg… Paul Rudd

Chasten Buttigieg… Beck Bennett

[Starts with The View intro]

Narrator: You’re watching The View. Can you believe they’re not mic’d?

[Cut to the set]

Whoopie Goldberg: Hello, hello. This is The View, the most high stakes brunch on television. [Cut to Whoopie] I’m Whoopie Goldberg. Later today we’ll be talking about dinosaurs, are they scary or they just silly? But up first is hot topics. [Cut to Whoopie and Abby] This week Alabama pass a near total ban on abortion. We’re about to pop off. We’ll start with Amy Huntsman.

Abby Huntsman:  Thanks, Whoop, it’s Abby but I can change it. [Cut to Abby] They’re calling this the war on women. I don’t think women should fight. I think women should be best friends like us. Right, Joy?

[Cut to Joe]

Joe Behar: Yeah, sure, sweetie. Listen, I want to talk about the guys who passed this bill. Maybe they’re so concerned with what happens to a six-week-old fetus because they all look like one. Blobby Nothings with beady eyes and big foreheads. They’re like, oh, my god, it’s me. What do you want? Laugh, don’t, I get paid the same.

[Cut to Ana]

Ana Navarro: This law is backwards. It is regressive. It is texting your ex, honey, you don’t want to do that. It’s backwards, it’s regressive. It is– Oh, no, I’m skipping.

[Cut to Meghan]

Meghan McCain: Okay, can I talk now? Okay, I am the only daughter at this table. So, I have to say, these senators are actually very good and fun guys, so I am spending love to Clyde Chambliss, Shay Shelnutt and Garland Gujer. And those are all real names, okay? Please, please, guys, let me talk.

[Cut to Whoopie]

Whoopie Goldberg: No one else is talking.

[Cut to Meghan]

Meghan McCain: Okay. You see, and I’m getting attacked, and as the person most upset right now, I am right.

[Cut to Joe]

Joe Behar: We got a live wire. Anything’s going to set her off.

[Cut to everybody. Whoopie is making noise juggling her coins.]

What, what?

Whoopie Goldberg: Down, down, no, down!

[Cut to Whoopie]

Our guest today is one of the many democrats running for president. He’s also the youngest. Please give it up for Pete Buttigieg.

[Pete Buttigieg walks in to the set]

Pete Buttigieg: Hello.

Joe Behar: Hi. How are you?

[Cut to Joe and Pete]

Pete Buttigieg: Well, I’m ready to work. See my exposed forearms?

[Cut to Whoopie]

Whoopie Goldberg: Now, I hear when you grow up, you want to be president.

[Cut to Pete]

Pete Buttigieg: Well, I am grown up.

Everybody: Aww.

Pete Buttigieg: I may only be 37 years old but I do feel like I represent everyday Americans. I’m just a Harvard educated, Multilingual War Veteran Rhodes scholar. I’m just like you.

[Cut to Joe and Pete]

Joe Behar: Oh my god! So young, so impressive. Can you fix my phone? I got like 8,000 unread emails.

Pete Buttigieg: Look, ladies, I’m here to talk about issues, like climate change. There you go, I fixed it.

Joe Behar: Okay. You’re my nephew. My nephew for president.

[Cut to Abby]

Abby Huntsman: Okay. And you have an unusual name. How do you pronounce that?

[Cut to Pete]

Pete Buttigieg: Pete.

[Cut to Abby]

Abby Huntsman: Oh, okay. I was thinking Pad Thai like the Japanese spaghetti.

[Cut to Whoopie, Abby, Joe and Pete]

Whoopie Goldberg: So you really think that you’re ready to be president?

[Cut to Pete]

Pete Buttigieg: Am I ready? [Speaking in Spanish] [Cut to Whoopie]

Whoopie Goldberg: And what was that last one?

[Cut to Pete]

Pete Buttigieg: A language I made up to speak to Gnomes.

[Cut to Joe and Pete]

Joe Behar: I got to ask because I’m sure it come up. You’re gay.

Pete Buttigieg: That’s not a question. But I do want to say that I wouldn’t be running for president if I didn’t believe America was ready to accept not only a gay man but a boring gay man in public eye.

[Cut to Pete, Ana and Meghan]

Ana Navarro: I think I saw your husband backstage. Bring him out.

Pete Buttigieg: Oh, no, I’m here to talk about my policies.

Ana Navarro and Meghan McCain: Husband, husband! Husband!

[Chasten enters the set]

Chasten Buttigieg: Hello, I’m Chasten Buttigieg.

Pete Buttigieg: He took the name Buttigieg. That’s commitment, right?

[Cut to Meghan laughing only after few seconds]

Meghan McCain: Ha-ha-ha, yes, be my friend or I’ll die.

[Cut to Joe, Pete and Chasten]

Chasten Buttigieg: Wow, this is all so new to me. Usually I’m just home with the dog.

Joe Behar: You’re gay and you have dogs? I’m sorry. I love that. I’m voting for you. Mayor Pete, we love you, we can never forget about Joe Biden. [Cut to everybody]

Ana Navarro: Take me to Delaware.

Whoopie Goldberg: We love him.

Joe Behar: My Prez.

Ana Navarro: Oh, Joe.

[Cut to Whoopie hugging her Joe Biden printed pillow] [Song’s playing]

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven’s gate
There’s a freedom in your arms
[Cut to Meghan]

Meghan McCain: Well, thank you both for being here. Joy, you need to let me talk.

Joe Behar: I have said nothing all day!

[Cut to everybody. Whoopie blowing blow horn.]

Joe Behar: What?

Whoopie Goldberg: Not today, Satan.

[Cut to Whoopie]

Coming up after the break, prison reform and Elon Musk teaches us to vape. This is The View.

[Ends with outro]

Don’t Stop Me Know | Cold Open | Season 44 Episode 21

Donald Trump… Alec Baldwin

Melania Trump… Cecily Strong

Mike Pence… Beck Bennett

Aidy Bryant

Kanye West… Chris Redd

Clarence Thomas… Kenan Thompson

Rudy Giuliani… Kate McKinnon

Donald Trump Jr. … Mikey Day

Eric Trump… Alex Moffat

Robert Mueller… Robert De Niro

[Starts with a seal of President of the United States]

Announcer: And now, a message from the president of the United States.

[Cut to Donald Trump in his office]

Donald Trump: hank you. Thank you very much. I’m very excited about summer, getting around that those things I never have time for. Golf, visiting friends in prison and enjoying all the fantastic new tariffs with China. It’s been an incredible year for our economy. Our American economy is on fire. I’m going to tell you if it’s a fire that keeps you warm or burns your house to he ground. But it’s some kind of fire. So, I’m on cruise control to a second term and there’s nothing the democrats in congress can do about it. So sit back and enjoy the ride, America, because tonight, well,

[music playing]

Tonight, I’m going to have a real good time.

[Melania Trump joins and sits on the desk]

Melania Trump: He feels alive.

Donald Trump: And the world I’ll turn it inside out, yeah!

[Mike Pence joins and sits on the desk]

Mike Pence: And float around in ecstasy

Melania Trump and Mike Pence:  So don’t stop him now

Everybody: Don’t stop him

cause he’s having a good time

having a good time

[Aidy Bryang joins and sits on the desk]

Aidy Bryant: He’s a lose cannon rippin’ up the laws of society

you can’t subpoena him

he’s gonna obstruct

Melania Trump: He’s a billionaire unless you take a look at his tax returns

He’s going to hide, hide, hide, oh there’s no showing you

Donald Trump: I’m burning every page

picking every fight

Melania Trump: That’s why they call him Mr. Bad Advice

cause he listen to the Fox News guys

Mike Pence: I want to make a super straight man out of you

Everybody: Don’t stop us now

we’re having such a good time

Donald Trump: I’m having a ball!

Aidy Bryant: Having a ball!

Everybody: Don’t stop us now

you wanna huge distraction

[Kanye West joins with his arms around Donald Trump’s shoulders]

Kanye West: Just give Yeezy a call man!

Everybody: Don’t stop us now

we’re having a good time

don’t stop us now

we’re having a good time

We don’t wanna stop at all.

[Clarence Thomas comes in]

Clarance Thomas: Yes, the supreme court ready for a fight on abortion

we got the votes now

women are screwed

[Clarence Thomas leaves]

Melania Trump: It was an issue you thought got resolved 50 years ago

but no, no, no

All men are still in control

Donald Trump: I’m searching bible guide now

Melania Trump: he’s throwing stones

and he lives in a big glass house

He cheated on every spouse

Mike Pence: I want to make a chik-fil-a man out of you

[Rudy Giuliani joins]

Everybody: Don’t stop me, don’t stop me, don’t stop me, don’t stop me

Rudy Giuliani: Do you guys like tariffs?

Everybody: Don’t stop me, don’t stop me

Rudy Giuliani: Hundred bucks for a tomato?

Everybody: Don’t stop me, don’t stop me

Rudy Giuliani: I ain’t sweatin’ it

[Rudy Giuliani is playing a guitar solo]

Aidy Bryant: Oh he’s throwing out the lies, yeah

Donald Trump: One tweet at a time.

Melania Trump: And he’s got the best and brightest guys

that’s why most of them are serving time

Mike Pence: I want to make a crazy sexy man out of you

[music stops]

Melania Trump: Mike, no. What are you doing?

Mike Pence: I’m sorry, the queen music gets me all riled up.

[Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump join everybody]

Donald Trump Jr.: Hey dad, why weren’t we invited to sing?

Eric Trump: Yeah.

Donald Trump: Son, and Eric. I’m sorry I forgot about you guys.

Eric Trump: Well, I want to sing the song too.

Donald Trump: All right, Eric, go ahead.

[music playing] [Cut to Eric and Donald Trump Jr.]

Eric Trump: It’s time to play the music

it’s time to light the lights

It’s time to meet the muppets on the muppet show tonight

[music stops] [Cut to everybody]

Donald Trump: All right. Let’s wrap this up. The NBA finals are coming up. I need to invite the three white players over for McDonald’s.

[Cut to Robert Mueller]

Robert Mueller: Wait a second. [Cheers and applause] I have something very important to say to the American people. Something they need to hear. [Donald Trump interrupts]

Donald Trump: No collusion, no obstruction.

[music playing]

So, don’t stop me now

[Cut to everybody]

Everybody: we’re having such a good time

Aidy Bryant: Just try and impeach

Everybody: Don’t stop us now

Aidy Bryant: We might even get rid of freedom of speech

Everybody: Don’t stop us now

we’re having a good time

don’t stop us

we’re having a good time

we don’t want to stop at all

[Cut to Donald Trump]

Donald Trump: Guys, it’s been fun. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I wouldn’t be Donald Trump if I didn’t say tune in next season to see who lives and who dies.

[Rudy Giuliani interrupts] Spoiler, I live. I live for another 150 years. And the iron throne will be mine.

Donald Trump: Have a wonderful summer, America.

[Cut to Everybody]

Everybody: And live from New York, it’s Saturday Night.