Beauty and the Beast The Mirror

Beast… Pete Davidson

Belle… Chloe Fineman

Father… Willem Dafoe

Cogsworth… Kenan Thompson

Lumière… Mikey Day

[Stats with Beauty and the Beast dancing in the castle]

Beast: Belle, are you happy here with me?

Belle: I’m getting used to it.

Beast: What’s wrong?

Belle: If only I could see my father again? Just for a moment.

Beast: Well, perhaps there is a way. This magic mirror will show you anything in the world.

Belle: Anything?

Beast: Yes, Belle. Anything.

Belle: [to mirror] I’d like to see my father please.

[Her father appears in the mirror. He’s getting back to his home.]

Father: Is anybody home? Belle? Belle? Are you here? Hello?

Belle: Oh, calling for me. I knew my father missed me.

Beast: Of course he misses you, Belle. He’d be a fool if he didn’t.

[Father is alone in the house]

Father: Okay, so I’m just double checking. I’m definitely alone then. Nobody here in the cottage except little old me. Crazy old me.

Beast: Oh-oh!

Belle: What?

Beast: Well, it seems like your father really wants to make sure he’s alone.

Belle: Wow, he’s never been by himself before. He’s probably frightened.

Beast: Yeah, I think we’re the ones who should be frightened.

[Father is lighting up the candles]

Father: [humming] This is the best day of my life

Beast: Yep, yep, here we go. He’s lighting all the candles now.

Belle: Maybe he’s cold.

Beast: Nope, not a shot. I know exactly what’s happening here.

Belle: What’s he doing now?

[Father is putting all the pictures of his daughter down]

Father: Don’t look. Don’t. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. [looks at the picture of a horse] Look at me.

Belle: He just seems to be so lost without me.

Beast: Belle, this guy’s not thinking about you at all. And if he is we got bigger problems.

Belle: Oh my God, what’s he doing now?

[Father turns on the music and starts dancing]

Cogsworth: Well, that’s not something you see every day.

Lumière: I’ll tell you one thing. The mirror never disappoints.

Belle: Okay. Well, maybe we should do something else. Anyone want to sing “Be our guest” again? It’s a really, really good song.

Beast: Maybe later. This is some sick stuff.

[Father is spanking himself an dancing]

Mrs. Potts: Oh, I like this, dude. He nasty.

Belle: Okay, okay. I think we’ve seen enough. Anyone else want to look in the mirror?

Lumière: Quiet. The strangest thing of all is happening.

[Father is looking at a photograph]

Father: Oh my lady, look at how I’m carrying on since you’re passing. I just wish swish you were holding me close, kissing my neck, stroking my head, stomping on my groin, spanking my ass, biting my ass. So many wonderful things with my ass.

[throws and breaks the mirror]

Belle: Oops! I broke the mirror. Total accident. Can’t believe it. Anyway, see everyone had dinner. And let’s never talk about this again.

Cogsworth: I can’t believes she broke the mirror.

Beast: Don’t worry guys. I got like Father0 more of those in my room.

Chip: Wait, I don’t understand. What happened in that old man’s quadrant.

Beast: [singing] A tale as old as time

Which is a song I would sing if we had the rights.

Continuity Errors | Season 44 Episode 20

Frank Parisi… Kyle Mooney

Kenan Thompson

Belle… Ego Nwodim

Thomas… Kate McKinnon

Mikey Day

Matthew… Alex Moffat

Marriot… Cecily Strong 

Lady Grantham… Emma Thompson

Pizza guy… Chris Redd

[Start’s with a program’s intro]

[Cut to Frank in his set]


Frank Parisi: Hello. I’m Frank Parisi and welcome to Wait a Second, That Shouldn’t Be There. The show where we look at some of the biggest continuity errors in Hollywood history. You may have seen the most recent episode of Game of Thrones. Where they accidentally included a shot of [Cut to a picture of Game of Thrones’ scene] Daenery’s sitting next to a modern Starbucks cup.

[Cut to Frank]

There has been even more glaring errors over the years that somehow went unnoticed. See if you can spot anything weird in this classic scene from the 2016 remake of “Roots”.

[Cut to a scene from Roots]

Kenan Thompson: You have to understand, Belle, this is just the way things are.

Belle: But it’s not how things have to be. We can change the present. And the future.

[Cut to Kenan. There’s a box of White Castle Crave case behind him] Kenan Thompson: Girl, that kind of thinking is going to get you killed, Belle. You’ve got to let go of them silly dreams.

[Cut to Belle. She is holding a ‘Big Gulo’ smoothie cup in her hand.]

Belle: If we don’t have dreams, then we have nothing. You were the one that taught me that. [Belle slurps the smoothie]

[Cut to Frank]

Frank Parisi: Did you notice the Slurpee? Somehow the editor did not. And somehow, no one caught these little booboos in 1998. “Shakespeare in love” either.

[Cut to a scene from Shakespeare in love]

Thomas: Well, there’s something I need you to know. Something I’ve kept from you.

[Cut to Mikey. Mikey takes Sun chips out and eats eats.] Mikey Day: What is it, Thomas?

[Cut to Thomas]

Thomas: I’m actually not who I say I am. Would you like to see the real me? [Thomas turns around and opens his shirt]

[Cut to Mikey]

Mikey Day: My stars. Thomas is a girl. Me thinks I have an idea for a new play. [Mikey opens his MacBook]

[Cut to Frank]

Frank Parisi: You might ask how did they miss all those errors? Well, keep in mind, everyone was distracted because just off camera, Harvey Weinstein was masturbating into a plant. Check out this subtle screw-up from season two of ‘Downton Abbey’.

[Cut to a scene from Downton Abbey]

Matthew: Marriot, I want to stay by your side but the great war is upon us.

[Cut to Marriot. She is wearing a dinner napkin.]

Marriot: We’re all at war, Matthew. Not just the men fighting in the trenches.

[Cut to Matthew. He is wearing ‘2017’ goggles.]

Matthew: But I love you, Mary. Don’t you understand? [A woman clears her throat] Oh, lady Grantham, we didn’t hear you come in.

[Cut to lady Grantham. She is wearing a beats headphone.] Lady Grantham: Yes. I can be very quiet. Unlike most people in this house.

[Cut to Matthew]

Matthew: People forgive me, my lady. Is there anything we can help you with?

[Cut to lady Grantham. She is also wearing a soda hat now.]

Lady Grantham: Well, in order to help you’d have to have a modicum of skill, wouldn’t one?

[Pizza delivery guy walks in]

Pizza guy: I’ve got a large mushroom pie for a name Maggie Smith.

Lady Grantham: Just call me Mags. I have a coupon.

Pizza guy: Oh, I’m sorry. That promotion is over. [Pizza guy leaves with the pie]

Lady Grantham: Son of a bitch.

[Cut to Frank]

Frank Parisi: I think that pizza guy’s a star. Let’s take a break. When we come back, we’ll look at famous scene from Jurassic Park. There’s something you might have missed. Welcome to Jurassic Park.