Bill… Kenan Thompson
President Obama… Jay Pharoah
Executive Order… Bobby Moynihan[Starts with School House Rock intro]
Male voice: We now return to a brand new episode of School House Rock.[Cut to a cartoon picture of Capitol building] [Kyle walks in]
Kyle: Come on! You really have to climb a lot of steps to get to this capitol building in Washington DC. Say, what’s that piece of paper doing here?[The bill walks in]
Bill: Oh, you mean me? I’ll tell you who I am.[singing]
I’m just a bill
yes, I’m only a bill
and I’m singing here in Capitol hill
but I know I’ll be a law some day
at least I hope and pray that I will
but today I still just a bill
Kyle: Cool! What kind of bill are you?
Bill: Well, I’m an immigration bill. And one day, the republicans might create me. So, I could become a law.
Kyle: And how does a bill become a law?
Bill: Funny you should ask.[singing]
Well, first I go to the house
and they vote on me
but then I need from the senate
and guess I pass the legislative test
then I wind up on the President’s desk
Bill: Oh! Oh, my sweet![Cut to Kyle and Barack Obama watching Bill fall]
Oh! My legs! They were made of paper!
Kyle: President Obama, what’s the big idea? That bill was trying to become a law.
Barack Obama: I realize that. But you know son, there’s actually an even easier way to get things run around here. It’s called an executive order.[Executive order walks in]
Executive order: [singing] I’m an executive order
and I just pretty much just happen
And that’s it.
Kyle: Wait a second. Don’t you have to go through congress at some point?
Executive order: Oh! That’s adorable. You still think that’s how government works. [laughing] [Bill walks back]
Bill: Ah! Don’t listen to him son.[singing] Look at the midterm election
people clearly don’t want [Barack Obama pushes Bill down the stairs again] [Cut to Bill falling down the steps of the capitol building.]
Oh! Why did I come back?[Cut to Kyle, Barack Obama and Executive order watching Bill fall]
Ah! I think I landed on my keys.
Kyle: Mr. President, is this constitutional?
Barack Obama: Of course. Presidents issue executive orders all the time.
Executive order: That’s right. I could do lots of things.[singing] I’ll create a national park,
or a new holiday
Barack Obama: [singing] Or grant legal status to find
million undocument immigrants.
Executive order: Wait, what?
Barack Obama: Yes, that’s what you’re gonna do.
Executive order: Oh, my god! But I didn’t have time to read myself. [Executive order reads himself] Wow! Okay. Go big or go home, huh?[Bill comes back again]
Bill: This isn’t over.[singing] We’re gonna take you to court
we’re gonna shut down– [Barack Obama pushes Bill down the stairs again] [Cut to Bill falling down the steps of the capitol building.]
So many steps! So many steps.
Barack Obama: Well son, what do you think about the government now?
Kyle: I think I wanna go into the private sector.
Barack Obama: Me too, son. Me too. Oh! One more thing…
Everybody: Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night.