Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of Donald Trump’s tweet at right top corner.]
Michael Che: President Trump tweeted that unemployment for Black Americans is the lowest ever recorded. Umm, I don’t know, man. I’m pretty sure that before the civil war, black unemployment was at like, zero.[Picture changes to an urn]
Police in Washington– [laughing] Police in Washington state say that they’re trying to find the owner of an urn full of cremated remains that was donated to a goodwill location. “Um, what did that urn look like?” said an employee who just made coffee.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Chris Christie at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: This week mark Chris Christie’s final days as governor of New Jersey. And to honor him– And to honor Christie, pants were worn at full mask.[Picture changes to a rare shark]
Scientists in Taiwan have caught a rare shark that can extend it’s jaws beyond it’s mouth to swallow large fish in one bite. Officials say the shark is cleaning up in Grindr.