Bradford… Kyle Mooney
Brian… Jerrod Carmichael
Heidi: Anyway, his name is Adnan Siadh. And the podcast is like, about whether he did it or not.
Ego: Wow, that is insanely cool. And Bradford, Katie was saying this is your first time in New York?
Bradford: Yeah, it’s been really awesome. City’s like, really interesting.
Heidi: Yeah. You know, just trying to show my favorite cousin what the Big Apple is all about.
Brian: Hey, guys, sorry, I’m late.
Ego: Oh, Brian!
Heidi: Brian, this is my cousin Bradford.
Brian: Oh, nice to meet you. Guys, I had the craziest morning.
Ego: Oh my god. Oh my god, what?
Heidi: Tell us. Brian’s our college friend. He has like the best stories.
Bradford: Okay. That’s amazing.
Brian: Okay, bear with me. So I’m having coffee with my boss, Anthony.
Bradford: Oh, wow. Okay. [starts to giggle]
Brian: Right. I mean, we do that a lot. But yeah, we’re at the French spot by the office.
Bradford: Oh, here we go. French. Great. [starts to giggle]
Brian: Yeah. Just a cool cafe we go to every couple of weeks.
Bradford: Right, right, right.
Brian: Anyway, the waiter comes up to us. And he’s like, “Hey, we made this extra cheese crate. You guys want it?”
Bradford: Oh, no. I think I see where this is going. This is– Please, please, please.
Brian: Sorry. Just let me– I’m just gonna finish the story real quick.
Bradford: Yeah, of course.
Brian: So we accept the crate. Why not? I put my fork and–
Bradford: I got like, a mental picture right now. This is amazing.
Heidi: Bradford, come on.
Brian: Turns out it’s triple chocolate. Keep in mind, it’s a lemonade. Yep.
Bradford: Oh my God, because I thought it was later. No!
Brian: Yeah, like, dude said it was cheese. What’s going on here?
Bradford: It’s the French waiter. He was like, high on dope or something?
Brian: What? No, I’m getting to it.
Bradford: Yeah, right. By the way. So New York!
Brian: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I look over who’s sitting at the bar with a slight grin on his face?
Bradford: The French waiter.
Brian: What? No.
Ego: Okay, wait, wait, don’t tell me it was Frank.
Brian: It was Frank.
Heidi: Oh my god, Frank. That is hilarious.
Bradford: Frank? [laughing] Wait, who’s Frank?
Brian: He’s a bit of a prankster.
Bradford: Wow, that’s. I’ve never heard anything like that.
Brian: Yeah, it’s kind of funny, right? Anyway, how are you guys? How was Mexico?
Ego: Oh my God, it was so fun.
Bradford: Wait, wait, wait. So then what happened?
Brian: What do you mean?
Bradford: Does your boss just wigged out, he’s like, knocking over the table like, “Ah! Everyone’s fired”?
Brian: Nope. It’s pretty much the end of the story, man.
Bradford: Oh, but the French waiter was high on dope, right?
Ego: What? High on dope?
Brian: No, no, everything was normal. It was just a dumb story. Can we talk about something else?
Bradford: Oh, sorry. I thought the French waiter was high on dope the whole time. Still amazing.
Brian: The place was French. Not the waiter. I never said the waiter was French.
Bradford: Oh, sorry.
Brian: It’s fine. Anyway, you said Mexico was good.
Ego: Yes. So good. Turns out yoga retreats are relaxing. Who knew?
Bradford: Didn’t mean to call the waiter French. My bad. Sorry, again.
Brian: All good, dude. Let’s just drop it. We’re moving off.
Heidi: Well, Bradford had a great time at the MET. It was so cool, right?
Bradford: I really did love the story, man.
Brian: Thanks. I appreciate that.
Bradford: What was the name of the crazy boss again? Was it Anderson?
Brian: It was Anthony. But we don’t need to talk about it anymore. Really?
Bradford: Anthony? It’s just like the perfect name for it. Really sorry if I screwed up the story.
Heidi: Bradford, it’s fine.
Bradford: No, it’s actually not. [emotional music playing] Brian, your story was amazing. It had great characters, and the part where the crepe isn’t cheese was unbelievable. And then I mess the whole thing up. I don’t deserve to be your friend.
Brian: Dude we just met. Honestly, it’s fine.
Bradford: No, it’s not. Lunch is on me. And I want to pay your rent for the rest of the year too.
Brian: That’s super generous man.
Bradford: Here’s a check for $Heidi,000. That ought to do it.
Brian: That’s not even enough for one month’s rent.
Bradford: Oh, okay. Didn’t know. Well, see ya’.