Kyle Mooney

Abraham… Beck Bennett

Pete Davidson

Sasheer Zamata

Cashier… Kenan Thompson

Dr. Erkhart… Dwayne Johnson

[Starts with a house party] [Kyle sees Abraham. He’s wearing a cap.]

Kyle: Yo, Abraham! You’re up? Keg stand!

Abraham: Oh, hell yeah!

[Cut to Abraham doing the keg stand and Kyle and Pete holding his legs.]

Everybody: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Abraham finishes the drink and stand up. His cap falls off. He’s bald.]

Abraham: Whoo! Whoo!

[Everyone is looking him in awkward way]


Pete: Abraham. Are you bald?

[Cut to Abraham denying.]

Abraham: No!

[Abraham runs out of the crowd and sits on the stairs alone.] [Kyle walks in]

Kyle: Hey! Sorry about back there.

Abraham: It just sucks. No one wants to be the bald guy in the frat.

Kyle: I know. That’s why I use this.

[Kyle hands over a box to Abraham]

Abraham: Brogaine? For college age guys?

Kyle: You know, I was like you once.

[Cut to Kyle when he was bald walking to the college.]

Honestly, I felt like a creep around campus.

[Cut to Sasheer walking smiling. But when she sees Kyle, she makes her face salty.]

I couldn’t even get anyone to check my fake ID.

[Cut to bald Kyle buying a liquor. He tries to show the cashier his ID.]

Cashier: Oh, that’s not necessary, sir. [talking to another customer] Young man, have your ID out and ready.

[Cut to an old man standing beside Kyle.]

Kyle: That’s when my doctor told me about Brogaine.

[Cut to the doctor who is also bald.]

He explained pretty much your balding can be caused by stress brought on by things like midterms, nerds, think your frat dog may be alcoholic and you chanted the N-word in a viral video. The Brogaine helps fight hair loss by combining the hair growing properties of Minoxidil with other useful chemicals like creatine, vicodin and bud heavy.

[Cut to Kyle and Abraham]

Abraham: Wow, so it really does work, huh?

[The doctors walks in. He has very long hair.]

Dr. Erkhart: Ha-ha. It worked for me.

Kyle: Dr. Erkhart?

Dr. Erkhart: [looking at the party] So, um, we doing this?

Male voice: Brogaine, it’s nice!