Eleanor… Aidy Bryant
Richard Carson… Kyle Mooney
Coleen… Heidi Gardner
Burger… Pete Davidson
[Start’s with Eleanor’s House intro]
Children singing: Come on over, it’s Eleanor’s house.
[Cut to Eleanor in her home. Her house is very colorful.]
Eleanor: Hi, I’m Eleanor. Welcome back to my house. This is my best friend, Goldie. [pointing at an animated goldfish by her side.]
Goldie: That’s me.
Eleanor: I’m sad today
Goldie: Why?
Eleanor: Because it’s my birthday but I can’t have a party because of this pandemic.
Goldie: You can still have a party. You just have to use your imagination.
Eleanor: Hey, that’s a great idea. An imagination party.
Goldie: Yeah.
Eleanor: Can you help me? Let’s close our eyes and imagine. [doorbell ringing] Oh, that must be our first party guest.]
[There’s a animated purple dot at the door]
Dog: Hello and happy birthday Eleanor.
Eleanor: Oh, thank you, purple dog.
Dog: This is such a fun party. Would you mind if I invited a friend?
Eleanor: Of course, the more the merrier.
[doorbell ringing. There’s animated ice cream at the door]
Ice cream: Great party. It’s cool if I invite a friend, right?
Eleanor: Of course. Who is it?
Ice cream: Oh, it’s my buddy from out of town. Richard Carson.
Eleanor: Um, sure.
[Richard Carson walks in]
Richard: Hey there, happy birthday sweetheart. I’m Richard Carson.
Eleanor: Oh, hello. I’m Eleanor.
Richard: My wife Coleen’s in the car changing. But don’t worry. She’ll be here in a second.
[Coleen walks in the door.]
Coleen: Richie, I can’t find my other shoe.
Dog: Eleanor, shall we have some cake?
Eleanor: Yeah. Yes, you know, we can imagine any kind of cake we want.
Goldie: Like a big cake?
Eleanor: Yeah. Even the biggest cake in the world.
[Suddenly, there are a lot of people in Eleanor’s party. Richard and Coleen are making out in the middle of the room.]
Jesus Christ. I’m sorry, who are all these people?
Richard: These are our Michigan friends.
Coleen: We met them ATVing.
Eleanor: We need to stop inviting people.
Richard: Hey, it’s a party. Relax. You know, my friend really wants to meet you. He thinks you’re pretty.
Eleanor: [blushing] Oh, okay.
[Burger walks to Eleanor]
Burger: Hey, I’m Burger. Thanks for having us over.
Eleanor: Oh, sure. Hey. I mean, it’s not big deal. I like to hang out.
Burger: Yeah. I could tell. What do you think about some same room sex later?
Eleanor: What?
Burger: Richard and Coleen going at it and you and I going to town, but like, all in the same room so people could sneak peek.
Eleanor: No, thank you. [walks to Ice Cream] Hey, what’s going on with your friend Richard Carson?
Ice Cream: What? He’s cool. He’s from Vegas.
Eleanor: Well, he needs to get the [bleep] out of my house.
[Two policemen walk in]
Police: Alright, party’s over.
Richard: Hey, I know my rights. I got a note from my doctor saying that I can’t drive sober.
Coleen: Seriously, if he doesn’t party, he dies.
[Richard tries to punch the policemen. He gets tasered.]
Stop it! You’re going to kill him.
Police: [to Eleanor] Ma’am. You need to get your life together.
Eleanor: Yes, yes. Thank you. I will. This always happens. I’m sorry. [everyone leaves] Well, see you next time on Eleanor’s house. [waving]
Children singing: Come on over, it’s Eleanor’s house.