What’s Wrong with This Picture 2021

Elliott Pants… Kenan Thompson

Rebecca… Aidy Bryant

William… Chris Redd

Sandra… Carey Mulligan

[Starts with show intro]

Male voice: It’s time to play ‘What’s wrong with this picture’. Now, here’s your half vaccinated host, it’s Elliott Pants.

[Cut to the show]

Elliott Pants: Hey, everybody. I am your host Elliott Pants. And don’t tell people I only got my first shot. That’s my business. Anyway, welcome to the show. As always, the rules are simple. All you got to do is look at the picture and tell me what’s wrong with it. The winner gets a lifetime supply of KY jam. You tired of the jelly? Upgrade to KY jam. Alright. Are we ready to play? Rebecca?

Rebecca: Does a bear spit in the woods?

Elliott Pants: Spit? I don’t think so. No. Next up is William. How are you doing?

William: Not much.

Elliott Pants: You happy with that answer? [William nods his head yes] Already worried about this group. Alright, how about you, Sandra. Are you ready to play?

Sandra: Yes, my kind.

Elliott Pants: Not a fan of that. Alright, let’s just take a look at our first puzzle. [There’s a cartoon picture of a woman sitting on a chair at a doctor’s office. She’s holding a baby. The clock has A-B-C-D instead of Elliott Pants-Rebecca-William-Sandra.] Something is off in this picture. What could it be?

Rebecca: I got it.

Elliott Pants: Rebecca.

Rebecca: Her husband is bald and way too small.

Elliott Pants: That’s not her husband. That is a baby.

Rebecca: Well, agree to mis-agree.

Sandra: The mother only has one leg, so the baby flew out no problem.

Elliott Pants: Excuse me?

Sandra: Also, the doctor’s prank worked. He told her to wear a condom like a hat and now she has a baby.

Elliott Pants: No. William.

William: She wants to pick up the hitchhiker but her car is a bed.

Elliott Pants: That’s not a hitchhiker. That is a doctor.

William: Then why is his thumb out? Oh, never mind. I know why. I’ve had that done before.

Elliott Pants: Not even close. It has something to do with time.

Rebecca: Oh, the baby has been out for an hour but the doctor won’t stop explaining Wandavision.

Elliott Pants: Oh my god. Look at the doctor’s clock.

William: This robe is covering it.

Elliott Pants: I said clock.

Sandra: Are you mad at us?

Elliott Pants: Yes. You know I said clock. And it has letters instead of numbers. Alright, next picture. [There’s a cartoon picture of children playing in a swimming pool. There’s a shark fin in the swimming pool.] Something is very obviously wrong here. What is it? Sandra.

Sandra: I’ve heard it can happen but this is actually the first time I’m seeing. Titty head.

Elliott Pants: that is her bathing cap. Not a titty head.

Sandra: I said I never saw one.

Elliott Pants: Rebecca.

Rebecca: The one in the pink suit said that she was Elliott Pants8 on hinge, but I don’t know. The pig tails are a red flag.

Elliott Pants: Please don’t do that. William, what’s wrong?

William: I’m fine. Do I seem like something’s wrong?

Elliott Pants: With the picture?

William: Oh, there’s no dogs in it. I like dogs.

Elliott Pants: there is a shark in the water right there. Alright, next picture. [There’s a cartoon picture of four kids eating a pizza. There is a glass of milk that is filled top half.] It has something to do with a glass of milk. That’s only full at the top. Rebecca.

Rebecca: Well, that pizza is leftover from a porn set. But good for them for not wasting it. Yum.

Elliott Pants: I’ma talk to you after this.

William: They look like that because the mom just walked in wearing only a thong and heels. “Not bad for a 60 year old woman, Mrs. C.,” They were all being forced to say.

Elliott Pants: Look at the milk.

Sandra: First off, they’re holding the pizza from the side.

Elliott Pants: Okay. That’s something.

Sandra: Also, the boy in the striped shirt will grow up to kill his wife.

Elliott Pants: No. I told you the answer. Alright. Next picture. [There’s a cartoon picture of a person visiting a tombstone. The date on tombstone is 1950-1810.]

William: She just ripped one. After all, the sign told her to.

Elliott Pants: That is a tombstone. It doesn’t say rip one. It says RIP.

Rebecca: I know what it is. I can’t believe actually I didn’t see it. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire and she’s going to keep up her charade even though the whole family is dead.

Elliott Pants: The date says the person died before they were born. Alright, this is your last picture and your last change. [There’s a cartoon picture of a woman getting a haircut. She has long hair in real, but in the mirror, she has a short hair.] Sandra.

Sandra: Oh! The hair cuts don’t match.

[right answer bell]

Elliott Pants: Oh my god! That’s right.

Sandra: And Reggae John is cutting hair now? So, that’s why he left Bridgerton.

Elliott Pants: Okay. That’s it. The KY jam is coming with me because I deserve a good night. Alright, I’m Elliott Pants. Goodbye.

The War in Words- Bertie and Mary

Bertie… Mikey Day

Mary.. Carey Mulligan

[Starts with channel show schedule]

Male voice: You’re watching the History channel. At 10, it’s “All dogs go to hell: Hitler’s hounds in color”. But first, it’s “The war in words: Letters from the line.”

[Cut to intro]

Male voice: The letters from Lieutenant Bertie Pembrook of the royal Navy and his wife, Mary, 1943.

[Cut to Bertie write a letter’]

Bertie: My dearest Mary. The sea is quiet today. The German U-boat attacks have seized for now. [cut to Mary reading the letter] My thoughts drift as they often do to you, my dear wife. Tell me, love. Do you think of me? Your adoring husband, Bertie.

[Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Dear Bertie, yes. Love, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie reading the letter and looking over if theres anything else written.]

Bertie: [writing the letter] Dearest Mary, i was thrilled to receive your letter. But alas, it was over so quickly. Your words do much to brighten my spirit, so tell me an amusing story or perhaps, a joke. Your’s, Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Dear Bertie. Knock-knock. Love, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: Dear Mary, I fear the knock-knock joke structure does not lend itself to letters. Instead, and I hope I’m not being too forward, would you send me something a bit naughty? It is lonely at sea. Your blushing Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Bertie, you rascal. I shall do as you say and send along something naughty. But you better not pass it around your friends, dirty boy. Your naughty wife, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: Mary! You have sent me cocaine! When I said naughty, I meant a racy photo, not an illegal narcotic. But I have bigger worries. Last night, my dear friend Steven was shot and died in my arms. Saddened at sea, Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Bertie, don’t panic. As long as nobody saw you kill him, they can’t prove it was you. Trust me, I’ve been dow this road before. Love, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: My love, I did not kill Steven. It was the Nazis, obviously. And what do you men you’ve been down this road before? Have you been involved in a murder? Concerned, Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Bertie, no. Wink-wink. But smart movie blaming at Nazi. People don’t seem to like them much, even though the ones I met at dinner the other night were lovely. Yours, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: Mary! You had dinner with the Nazis the other night? How? Why? details please. Alarmed in the Atlantic, Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: Bertie, oh you know me, always making new friends. By the way, I went to visit your parents the other day enclosing the photo of the three of us. With love, Mary.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: Dear god, Mary. What happened to my parents? [the picture she sent was a photo of her and tombstones] This is a photo of you in a graveyard. Why did you not tell me they passed away? Worried on the waves, Bertie.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]
Mary: Bertie, I wanted to tell you in person, but you’ve been off with your friends.

[Cut to Bertie writing the letter]

Bertie: I’ve been at war!

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Mary: But good news, as you know by now, Germany surrendered. I was visiting my sister in New York when we heard. We took to the streets to celebrate. A photo of me has been wound up on a magazine. Enclosing a copy along with a little gift. Your covergirl, Mary.

[Cut to Mary writing the letter]

Bertie: Mary, stop sending me cocaine. And as for the magazine, who the hell are you kissing? [opens the cocaine packet] Alright, you know what? I’m actually going to do this.

Male voice: This has been, “The war in words”

Study Buddy

Krissy… Carey Mulligan

Josh.. Kate McKinnon

Jason… Aidy Bryant

[Starts with Krissy and Josh are at Krissy’s room.]

Krissy: Thanks for working on that project with me, Josh. I think our diorama of the Bush family is really good.

Josh: Me too. Well, my mother won’t be here for another three quarters of an hour. I could wait by the door or clean something.

Krissy: No, stay. Let’s just talk. Here.

Josh: At your request. Alright.

[Krissy and Josh sit on a couch.]

Krissy: Well, Josh, I just wanted to say it’s been cool having so many classes with you.

Josh: Wow. Krissy, honestly, I could say the same.

Krissy: I love that your childless aunt brought you to the Galapagos. You showed you pictures to the class for an hour.

Josh: Well, your tortoise questions were very astute.

Krissy: Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m glad we’re hanging out.

Josh: Hanging out, you said?

Krissy: Yes. [puts her hand on Josh’s thighs] Hanging out.

Josh: Would you excuse me for a moment, Krissy? Because I am getting a phone call from doctor. [on the phone] Hi, is my best friend Jason there? Yes, I’ll hold.

Jason: Hello, Jason speaking.

Josh: Jason, you are not going to believe what’s going down. I am laying next to the hottest girl I have ever seen.

Jason: My good man.

Josh: I won’t say her name in case she can hear me, but I will give you a clue. She is Beyonce of our science class.

Jason: Roger that. Paint the picture.

Josh: Okay. So, we are currently in her bedroom on a papasan for two. And simply put, I’m afraid. What do I do?

Jason: Okay. Well, I’m glad you called me because I did have a girlfriend at a graphic design camp. So, tell me, what’s your body language?

Josh: Okay. I am sort of curled in a fetal position away from her on the phone.

Jason: Okay, what is she doing?

Josh: She’s looking at me.

Jason: Wow, my friend. We’re in a bit of a pickle. Okay, we need some wow factor. Why don’t you whisper a secret? Sensually into her ear?

Josh: Very good. [Josh calls Krissy to get close and whispers to her ear.] One species of jellyfish is immortal.

Krissy: Wow. That’s so cool. Thanks for telling me.

Josh: [back to phone] Okay, somehow that went well.

Jason: Cheers. Next things next. Do you have something that you could offer her? Perhaps as a gift?

Josh: Okay. One moment. [goes through his pockets] I have a hundred napkins. My inhaler. Okay, I actually do have a pair of rhinestone earrings I was going to give to the chorus teacher.

Jason: Oh! Ah-ha! I say, move the hair and see if the ear has the hole.

Josh: Okay. [moves her hair and looks for hole] Two. We’ve got a firecracker on hour hands.

Krissy: Everything okay with your doctor?

Josh: Yes, please hold. [on the phone] Jason, what’s next?

Jason: Okay, what is she doing?

Josh: Now she is looking at her gecko. Should I tell her plant life in the tank is not ideal?

Jason: Do you feel the gecko is in danger?

Josh: Not in danger but–

Jason: Well, then leave it well enough alone, my friend. There will be time for that down the road.

Josh: Good. Back to romance then I suppose.

Jason: Okay. Well, we want to keep her in the driver’s seat. Let your hand hover slightly over her. If she likes it, she ought to lift her hand to your’s.

Josh: Interesting. [Josh puts his hand raised over Krissy’s hand. Krissy holds his hand.] [on the phone] I have contact. She’s holding my hand.

Jason: Who is?

Josh: The girl.

Jason: Okay, so I’m out of my depth.

Josh: Jason. Jason. I need you to dig deep, please.

Jason: Okay. The time is right. Put your nose near her face and breathe.

[Josh moves close to Krissy and leans towards Krissy. Krissy looks at him and leans towards him too.]

Josh: It’s happening. Jason, she’s becoming in love with me. I can see it in her eyes.

Jason: Congratulations, old chap. Couldn’t have happened to a better man.

Josh: Jason, my life is changing. I must admit, I am afraid of losing you, Jason.

Jason: Neigh, my good man. We will always have each other.

Krissy: Can we kiss now?

Josh: Yes, we can. Jason, I will see you on the other side. [throws away the phone]

Jason: I dough doth cap!

Star Trek Spinoff

Captain… Beck Bennett

Corporal… Kate McKinnon

Ego Nwodim

Alex Moffat

Bowen Yang

McKenna… Carey Mulligan

Zachary… Mikey Day

Chloe Fineman

[Starts with intro]

Male voice: You’re watching Paramount+, we thought of the plusing before Disney. We now return to the Startrek prequel: Starcharter Andromeda.

[Cut to the ship]

Captain: What’s the situation, corporal?

Corporal: It’s not good, sir. Solar flair scrambled the ship’s computers. All proportion and guidance systems have gone dark.

Ego: The ship is dead and we’re headed towards the Medusa blackhole.

Alex: If we cross it’s even horizon, there’s no escape.

Captain: How do we fix this?

Bowen: We’ve tried everything. Nothing seems to work.

Captain: There’s got to be a way. Does anyone have an idea?

McKenna: Hi. I know I’m just a Consol Lout, but maybe we can try unplugging it and plugging it back in?

Corporal: What? Are you serious? This is ridiculous.

McKenna: [being emotional] I’m sorry I’m such a big dumb idiot. [storms outside]

Zachary: McKenna, wait! [yelling] I cannot believe you just did that.

Captain: Who are they and what was that?

Bowen: I don’t know who they are but I always see them in the hallway having intense conversations in hush tones.

Alex: Yes. And according to the crew log, captain, they just graduated from a small expensive Star Fleet Academy.

Ego: You know, my gut tells me they’re just rich white kids who for the first time are experiencing a world that doesn’t revolve around them.

Corporal: Alright. Well, we’ve got bigger problems.

[McKenna and Zachary walk back]

McKenna: Yeah. You’re right. Thank you, Zachary.

Zachary: I mean, they’re toxic. This whole place is literally toxic.

Captain: The anti-matter accelerator. We could route it’s power to propulsion systems.

Alex: The risk of overload is very high, captain. That is a very dangerous option.

Bowen: But it just might work.

Zachary: Um, excuse me?

McKenna: Zachary, don’t!

Zachary: No, they were wrong. McKenna is too polite and awesome and too beautiful to say it, so I will. I think you owe her an apology.

Corporal: I don’t owe her a thing. We’re dealing with a life and death emergency.

McKenna: [shocked] Stop gaslighting me. [storms out]

Zachary: McKenna, stop!

Corporal: What’s going on with your friend?

Zachary: McKenna is dealing with a lot right now, you have no idea.

Corporal: A lot? Is it worse than drifting into a blackhole?

Zachary: Yes. Her parents might be selling her childhood home.

Ego: Might be?

[Chloe runs in]

Chloe: Zachary, McKenna is threatening to jump out into space.

Zachary: No! No, McKenna! Move! [storms out]

Captain: Should someone check on her?

Bowen: No. She threatens to jump out into space everyday. It’s fine.

Ego: Captain, if we’re going to power up the inter-matter accelerator, we need to do it now.

Alex: Think carefully, captain. The lives of every soul on board are at stake.

[McKenna and Zachary walk in]

McKenna: I would like to speak my truth to you.

Corporal: Not now.

Zachary: Yes! Yes, now. Go ahead, McKenna.

McKenna: I will not let you take my power away. My name is McKenna McLord Davies and my voice has value.

Zachary: [pointing at Corporal] My best friend’s voice has value.

Corporal: [pushing Zachary’s hand away] Get your finger out of my face.

Zachary: Oh my god, let go of me. You’re hurting me.

McKenna: Stop killing him.

Chloe: [recording through phone] You’re on videotape, ma’am. Stop assaulting my friend.]

Corporal: I’m not. When a commanding officer asks you to do something, you do it. You understand?

Zachary: My arm. She broke my arm.

McKenna: You broke his arm.

Captain: Everyone, quiet! Look, we’re now approaching a blackhole. We’re already inside it.

Zachary: Sir, she broke my arm. I need the rest of the day off.

Captain: Put these guys in the airlock now!

[They throw three of them out in the space.]

Lesbian Period Drama

Doctor… Alex Moffatt

Husband… Beck Bennett

Carey Mulligan

Heidi Gardner

Rex… Kate McKinnon

[Starts with a man bringing his wife to a doctor. It looks like an ancient village.]

Doctor: Come in, sir.

Husband: Thank you, doctor. It’s my wife.

Doctor: What’s wrong with her?

Husband: She is a bummer.

Female voice: In the 19th century dark, cold, seaside town comes the story of an unlikely connection.

[the doctor uses stethoscope on the wife]

Doctor: She’s medically upset.

Husband: What can we do, doctor?

Doctor: She needs seagull sound, gray hair and long rocky walks.

Husband: I’ll see you in two months.

Carey: You’re leaving me?

Husband: Yes. With her. [there’s a lady there]

Heidi: I’m your female companion.

Female voice: From the makers of “Portrait of a lady on fire”  and “Ammonite”, comes a new award-winning film, “Lesbian Period Drama”. Another film that isn’t afraid to ask – will these lesbians be lesbians together?

[Carey and Heidi walk pass by both holding candles in their hands]

Carey: Hello.

Heidi: Hello.

Carey: Hello.

Female voice: Starring two straight actresses who dared not to wear make up. Twelve lines of dialog. Two and half hour run time.

[Carey and Heidi are walking on the sea shore]

Heidi: Put the rocks in the basket. Grey ones are best.

Carey: I’m scared of water.

Heidi: This is why I pick rocks alone.

Female voice: Featuring Academy Award-winning glance choreography, and best supporting actress nominee, The Wind. And the one actual lesbian actress as stone cold ex.

Rex: [to Carey] Hey, I’m Rex. Nice to meet you. Excuse me. Oh, yes. We were together for two years. The sex was so bad, we broke up, even though there’s not another lesbian for five full countries.

Female voice: “Sure”, says Lesbian Monthly, “I mean, I’m gonna see it.”

Rex: Let me guess. She took you to pick up rocks? Guess where she learned that one?

Heidi: That will be enough.

Female voice: Witness the world’s saddest flirting.

[Carey and Heidi are laying on the bed facing each other]

Carey: My mother and father died before I was born.

Heidi: Mine too.

Female voice: And watch heated anticipation as they round all the bases, like grazing fingers, washing carrots and fast aggressive this. Sinnerview says, “I saw their nude backs which made me the fronts, which is where the boobs are.” And of course, there’s a drawing scene.

Heidi: May I draw you?

Carey: Yes. May I draw you?

Heidi: Yes.

Rex: And may I draw you drawing her?

Both: Yes.

Female voice: Two hours of excruciating tension, all building up to a sex scene so graphic, you’ll think, “Oh, right. A man directed this.”

Rex: Hey, gals. It’s 1840. That’s been invented yet. You’re going to crack the head board.

Female voice: Lesbian Period Drama. You get one a year. Make the most of it.

L’Eggs

Heidi Gardner

Blaze… Kyle Mooney

Andrew Dismukes

Ego Nwodim

Aidy Bryant

Jenny… Carey Mulligan

[starts with four friends sitting in a canteen at school]

Heidi: Damn, I couldn’t wait for algebra to end.

Blaze: Me neither. I was dying to meet up with my beat buddies.

Andrew: Hell, yeah. So, what do you guys think? Is there after school rap group commence?

Ego: Okay. Definitely. You know I love to freestyle rap. Blaze, you on the beat?

Blaze: You know it. Let’s go.

[Blaze stands and starts beatboxing]

Ego: [rapping] Waking up rolling out of bed
my mom calls me a sleepyhead

Andrew: No cigarettes, I do not smoke
but if you got weed, I’ll have a toke

[Aidy and Jenny walk in]

Aidy: Legs looking smooth while I do my groceries,
silky and svelte in my brand new hosiery.

Heidi: Um, sorry. Who are you guys?

Aidy: Yeah, who are you guys?

Ego: I think she’s talking about you two.

Jenny: Us? We’re your female teen peers.

Aidy: Yes. Fellow students who learn.

Ego: How old are you?

Aidy: Well, we’re nine, like you.

Jenny: How old are you guys?

Heidi: We’re 15.

Aidy: Well, so are we. We’re post puberty but we can’t yet join the military.

Andrew: Did you say nine? You think we’re nine?

Jenny: Hey, gang. Next order of business, what brand of soothing pantyhose does the the rap team wear?

Aidy: Hey, that’s what I was wondering too, Jenny. I mean, I can’t get on stage if I’m plagued by worry about unsightly leg veins, am I right girlfriends?

Jenny: I can completely agree. My pantyhose color is sun-tan beige.

Aidy: And mine is chicken tender nude.

Heidi: Well, we don’t really wear pantyhose.

Blaze: Yeah. We just have these t-shirts and, like, jeans.

Ego: Okay. Are we ‘after school rap’ team or ‘talking about tights’ team? Come on, Blaze.

[Blaze starts beatboxing]

Andrew: [rapping] Never do my chores and never do a dish
throw the basketball it goes swish

Jenny: Praying for some good legs on my rosary
complete leg support with L’Eggs brand hosiery.

Heidi: Okay, why do you two keep bringing up hosiery?

Aidy: Okay, we confess. We are sales representatives for L’Eggs brand hosiery. You see, they come in these big eggs that are not bio-degradable. Cool, right?

Jenny: You are voted by your peers as the students who are most likely to wear pantyhose.

Aidy: Yeah. You could put hosiery hot on the market again.

Ego: No offense. But I don’t even know what hosiery is? Is it for grandmas?

Jenny: No. It’s for beautiful women who graduated college [Aidy pulls in a screen with their commercial] and are working a job and hopes that the boss will ask her handed marriage. Here we have a simple powerpoint presentation to explain.

Aidy: Yes. [There’s a picture of legs on the screen] Ew, look at those disgusting legs. I mean, I can see every shadow and curve of the toes.

Jenny: That’s not cool. That sucks. I want my legs to look like beige sheer column. For the low, low price of $8 for a pack of 24.

Ego: That is a good deal.

Aidy: It just is. And you aren’t the only one who thought that.

Jenny: In the 80s and 90s, everyone wanted hairless elegant legs with no toenail.

Heidi: Damn, that’s cool.

Aidy: Yeah, I sure relate to you there sister. But then came the nightmare whore trends of the early 2000s. [Pictures of Christina Agulera and Britney Spears on the screen] X-Tina and Ms. Pears wore raw legs and toe rings. They didn’t know that they were missing out on this. [Aidy shows off her own legs]

Jenny: My favorite are the L’Eggs made memory yarn. I love them. Just take a look at these. [Jenny shoes off her own legs]

Blaze: Damn. I’m not gonna lie, those legs look good.

Andrew: I love how L’Eggs leaves something to the imagination.

Jenny: Yes. That’s right, boys. So, what do you say, students? Do you have what it takes to become Brand Ambassadors for L’Eggs?

Heidi: We want to but we don’t know how.

Jenny: It’s easy.

Aidy: All you have to do is this.

[Aidy and Jenny start showing off their legs again.]

IBS Medicine Ad

Mom… Carey Mulligan

Dad… Mikey Day

Lauren Holt

Janitor… Kenan Thompson

Principal… Aidy Bryant

[Starts with Mom and Dad at their son’s school concert. Their son is going to play guitar.]

Female voice: Life’s special moments are meant to be enjoyed. Not spend worrying about your irritable bowel syndrome.

[Mom feels pressure in her stomach]

Mom: [to Dad] I’ll be right back]

Dad: But Ryan’s solo is coming up.

[Mom runs to the toilet]

Female voice: It can strike at any time. Robbing you of life’s special moments. [Ryan looking at his sad being sad] But now, there’s help. [when Mom’s walking back to her seat, Lauren stops her and gives her a pack of pill] With Tremfalta. Tremfalta is a once daily pill that helps control your IBS syndrome. Instead of it controlling you. [Mom takes her seat and now her son is happily playing the guitar]. So you can enjoy more of life’s special moment.

Janitor: [yelling] Oh my god!

All: Shh!

Janitor: Who did this? It is everywhere. On the wall? Ugh!

Female voice: Tremfalta works by slowing your body’s digestive process decreasing the intensity and volatility of bowel movements so you can get back to what really matters.

[Janitor calls principal and shows the bathroom]

Principal: Oh!

Janitor: What did I tell you?

Female voice: Because some of life’s moments are too important to miss.

Principal: Stop the concert. Kids, I’m sorry. Someone has done something very, very bad in the bathroom. Something very disrespectful. [Lauren is shaking her head] Who did this filth?

Dad: [whispering to Mom] Didn’t you go–

Mom: [whispering] Shut the fuck up.

Female voice: Consult your doctor before use. Side effects may include–

Janitor: [yelling] Something is wrong with you, you sick son of a bitch.

Female voice: Side effects may–

Janitor: [yelling] You just lit up the toilet. You just lit the whole damn thing up.

Female voice: Side effects–

Janitor: I have kids! Damn!

Female voice: Never miss a special moment again.

[Mom hugs Lauren and whispers in her ears]

Mom: [whispering] If you say anything, I will destroy your life.

Lauren: What?

Mom: [looking at her family] Wait for mom.

Female voice: With Tremfalta.

Dad: I think we got a star on our hands.