Carozzi… Kyle Mooney
Beck Bennett
Kenan Thompson
Peppi Ronnie… Aziz Ansari
Jeff… Bobby Moynihan
Steve… Mikey Day
Marynara… Aidy Bryant
[Starts with Carozzi hiding in an abandoned Pizza Town]
Carozzi: [talking on the phone] Cops are all over the stash house. So, I’m laying low at the abandoned Pizza Town off route. Look, if you find that snitch, you kill him.
[Two cops walk in pointing a gun at Carozzi]
Beck: Freeze, Carozzi. [to his partner] See if you can find the fuse box and get some light on it.
[Kenan runs to turn lights on]
Carozzi: How did you find me?
Beck: One of you boys ratted you out. Your whole operation’s going down.
Carozzi: Who ratted? Was it Marco?
Beck: Let me worry about that.
Kenan: Found the fuse box.
[the lights turn oh. There’s a robot band on the stage of the restaurant.]
[music playing]
Peppi Ronnie: I’m Peppi Ronnie. [singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like pizza pie
I want a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza pie
Let’s all eat pizza, pizza
let’s all eat pizza pie
I am a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza guy
Beck: Why’d you turn this thing one?
Kenan: I don’t know. It’s just one switch.
Beck: Don’t do anything stupid, Carozzi.
Peppi Ronnie: Say hi to my pizza pals.
[Jeff is playing drums wearing chef uniform]
Jeff: I’m Chef Jeff, and I make-a the pizzas.
[Steve is playing guitar that looks like a pizza]
Steve: I’m Cheesy Steve and I shred the guitar-mesan.
[guitar solo playing]
[Marynara is playing tamborine]
Marynara: And I’m Sauce-some Marynara on the Tamborine.
Peppi Ronnie: We are Peppi-Ronnie and the Pizza Pals, and we’ll be right pizza!
[music stops and the stage lights turn off]
[Carozzi is tryin to pull something out of his jacket]
Beck: Hey! Hey! That’s a bad idea.
Kenan: Yeah, I know, right? They should have Marynara on the keyboards instead of tambourine. Ha-ha. There’s so much synth in that song.
Beck: I’m not talking about the pizza band.
[siren sound]
Sounds like our backup’s here.
Peppi Ronnie: That sound was the birthday siren! [music playing] It’s someone’s birthday!
[singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like the birthday pie
go happy pizza birthday
birthday girl, birthday guy
Congratulations to–
Recorded voice: Samora.
Peppi Ronnie: Who turnes–
Recorded voice: Nine.
Peppi Ronnie: And is is celebrating with–
Recorded voice: Mom and Gary.
Peppi Ronnie: Cowabunga!
Recorded voice: Lope.
Peppi Ronnie: Here’s a joke just for you. Did you hear about the pizza with no toppings? There was mushroom (much room) for improvement!
Steve: That’s cheesy!
[music stops and the stage lights turn off]
Kenan: You get it? Ha-ha. Mushroom for improvement. Yeah, that’s clever.
Carozzi: Hey, i’m not going back to jail.
Beck: Shut up. I don’t want to shoot you, Carozzi. Now I’m coming over and taking you in.
[music playing and the stage lights turn on]
Peppi Ronnie: [singing] Don’t you want some pizza
don’t you want some pizza
[music stops]
Oh! Who ordered anchovies?
[fog horn]
PIzza!
[music stops and the stage lights turn off]
Kenan: That’s good. Nobody likes anchovies.
Beck: Stop watching the pizza band.
[Beck walks towards Carozzi to handcuff him]
Carozzi: I want a lawyer, okay?
Beck: Well, it’s not gonna help you, Corozzi. Come on, let’s take him in.
Kenan: Yeah, you go ahead. I’m gonna stay behind and wait for forensics.
[The stage lights turn on]
Peppi Ronnie: Hey, who here likes to dance?
[Kenan looks around]
Kenan: I do.
Peppi Ronnie: Then let’s crust a move!
[music playing]
[Kenan starts dancing]
[singing] I like that pizza, pizza
I like pizza pie
I want a pizza, pizza
Pizza what? Pizza pie