December to Remember Car Commercial

Nathan… Beck Bennett

Cathy… Heidi Gardner

Matt… Timothée Chalamet

Mike… Mikey Day

[Starts with a father, mother and their son sitting near their Christmas decoration.]

Nathan: Yes, it’ll fit perfectly. Hey, Matt, I think there might be one more gift for your mom right there.

[Matt brings the gift box for Cathy.]

Female voice: It hasn’t been a normal year. So this Christmas, get her something extra ordinary during the Lexux December to Remember sale event.

[There’s a Lexus car key inside the box.]

Cathy: Nathan, you didn’t.

Nathan: With flexible financing and 0% APR, there has never been a better time to buy or lease a new Lexus.

[Nathan runs outside. There’s a very nice car there.]

Matt: Wow!

Nathan: Merry Christmas, baby.

Cathy: [angry] Are you fucking kidding me Nathan? Did you seriously buy a car without asking me?

Nathan: Well, because for Christmas.

Cathy: This is a major purchase.

Nathan: Right. But it was a December to remember.

Cathy: It’s a Lexus. We don’t have the money for this, Nathan.

Matt: We don’t?

Cathy: No, we don’t. Your father doesn’t– Your father hasn’t worked since last March.

Matt: What?

Nathan: Yeah. Covid has hit a lot of people hard and I’m no exception.

Cathy: Nathan, you got fired in March 2019. Covid had nothing to do with it.

Nathan: Hey pal. I guess your old man’s busted.

[Cut to Lexus car commercial]

Female voice: It’s beginning to look a lot like savings. So, get to your local Lexus dealer today.

Cathy: How much did you spend on this ridiculous car, Nathan?

Nathan: It was only 3999 to it’s signing. Four grand. It’s not that much, babe.

Cathy: And how much is the monthly payment?

Nathan: The what?

Cathy: Did you think this entire car cost $4000?

Nathan: Uh-huh.

Cathy: There’s a monthly payment.

Nathan: Yes. With 0% apur. I think it’s all good.

Cathy: Apur? Do you mean APR?

Nathan: I’m pretty sure it’s apur.

Matt: Wow. Just, wow.

Nathan: Hey, come on. It’s Christmas. This is good. I did a good thing for us. [takes a can of beer out of his pocket] Let’s enjoy it. [drinks the beer]

Matt: Dad, it’s nine in the morning.

Nathan: So? It’s not like I have work later. Ha-ha. Come on!

[a neighbor walks to them.]

Mike: Hey.

Nathan: Hey, neighbor.

Mike: You bought a Lexus? You come to me three weeks ago, “Oh, Mike, help me. I need money. I can’t buy Christmas gifts for my family. My wife doesn’t respect me.”

Nathan: I didn’t say that.

Mike: My wife’s cheating on me with everyone.

Matt: Mom, you are? [Cathy just looks away]

Mike: I want to look cool in front of my son’s girlfriend.

Matt: Ew, dad! Is that why you pierced your ear?

Nathan: No, I’ve had this forever. [his piercing is fresh and bleeding]

Mike: I just need five grand to get back on my feet. And then you buy a Lexus?

Nathan: Yes. Well, it was beginning to look a lot like savings at my Lexus dealer.

Mike: I want my money back, man. Tomorrow! [looks at Cathy] Hey, Cathy. [Cathy waves at him with flirty looks]

Nathan: What is that look?

Cathy: You know what? We’re taking this car back to the dealership now.

Matt: I better drive.

Nathan: Maybe we stop by Jenna’s on the way over. She this cool car your dad got. Hah?

Cathy: Shut up.

Female voice: Give the gift of Lexus. And definitely, talk it over first.

A Thanksgiving Miracle

Beck Bennett

Vanessa Bayer

Cathy… Aidy Bryant

Cecily Strong

Jamal… Jay Pharoah

Grandpa… Matthew McConaughey

Grandma… Kate McKinnon

[Starts with a family having dinner]

Beck: Alright guys, happy thanksgiving everyone.

[everyone wishes each other]

I am so thankful to have you all here today.

Vanessa: I am thankful that I only burned the turkey a little bit.

[everyone laughs]

Cathy: You know, I am thankful that our governor is not gonna let those refugees in here.

Cecily: Oh my god!

[Cut to a video that says “Thanksgiving with family can be hard.”] [Cut to Beck]

Beck: You know, I heard the refugees are all ISIS in disguise.

[Cecily shaking her head]

Cathy: Oh yeah, that’s true. [Cut to Cathy] I actually saw an ISIS in the A&P today when I was picking up the yam.

[Cut to Cecily]

Cecily: No, you didn’t aunt Cathy. That was an Asian woman.

[Cut to a video that says “Everyone has different opinions and beliefs.”] [Cut to everybody]

Cathy: You know what? [pointing at Jamal. Jamal is the only black person at the table] I have a question for you. Why is it that your friends keep antagonizing the police?

[Jamal is offended]

Cecily: Why would you ask my boyfriend that?

Cathy: Well I’m just trying to get to know Jamal.

[Cut to a video that says “But there’s one thing that unites us all…”] [Cut to everybody arguing with each other. The little girl sitting by Cathy gets up and plays Adele’s ‘Hello’ on the music player.] [Everyone suddenly stops talking] [Cut to Cathy lipsyncing to the song]

Cathy: Hello, it’s me.

[Cut to Vanessa lipsyncing to the song]

Vanessa: I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet.

[Cut to Beck lipsyncing to the song]

Beck: To go over everything.

[Cut to Cathy and Jamal holding hands and lipsyincing to the song]

Jamal: They say that time’s supposed to heal you but I ain’t done much healing.

[doorbell rings]

Vanessa: Oh, your grandparents are here.

[Cut to the grandparents walking in]

Beck: How was the flight?

Grandpa: It was good. Good.

Grandma: I saw two transgender at the airport. They sure look all pretty.

Grandpa: Very interesting trend.

[Cut to Cecily and Jamal]

Cecily: Oh, my god!

Jamal: Transgender is not a trend Mr. Paul.

[Cut to Grandpa]

Grandpa: There weren’t any around when I was younger.

[Cut to Cecily]

Cecily: Yeah, they were there but they couldn’t say anything so they lived sad lives and died.

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: No talking about…

[everyone starts arguing again] [Cut to the little girl who plays the song again] [The video changes to black and white. Everyone stands up lipsyncing to the song.]

All: Hello from the other side

[They have the wind blowing on them effect going on]

I must have called a thousand times

[Beck has his nails done like Adele in her video]

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
When I called you never seemed to be home

[The burnt turkey turns into a well cooked turkey]

Hello from the other–

[The oven’s timer beeps]

Vanessa: Oh, the pies are ready.

[Cut to Cathy]

Cathy: And I am ready to vote for Ben Carson.

[Cut to Cecily]

Cecily: You are such a–

[Cut to Vanessa walking to bring the pie but she slips and presses the button to play the song] [Cut to the family lipsyincing to the song. The video changes to black and white again.]

All: Hello from the other side

[Everyone is wearing a coat like Adele in her video now]

At least I can say that I tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart

[Now even men have long blonde hair like Adele]

but it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart

[Now everyone is at Adele’s ‘Hello’ shooting venue with a pond and flying autumn leaves.]

Anymore
anymore
anymore

[Cut to everybody. Little girl is also sitting at the table.]

Vanessa: Dig in, everyone.

[Little girl turns towards the camera]

Little girl: Thanks Adele.

[The End]