Michael Che[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a logo of Cleveland Indians at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: It was reported that the Cleveland Indians have decided to remove the term ‘Indian’ from their team name. Yes, it’s nice. Yet, somehow we’re cool calling the only black people in Utah, the Jazz.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of MacKenzie Scott at right top corner.]
Michael Che: MacKenzie Scott, Jeff Bezos ex wife has given away more than $4 billion to pandemic relief organizations. Not to be outdone, Jeff Bezos has offered Amazon workers free Gatorade bottles for bathroom breaks.[Picture changes to Andrew Cuomo]
A former advisor to New York governor Andrew Cuomo has accused him of sexually her for years making him the odds-on favorite for the 2024 nomination. You’re not going to like the rest of these. Cuomo denies the allegations claiming that he would never be inappropriate to any broad with frickin dynamite baazoombas.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a car covered with snow at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A man in New York state was trapped inside his car for 10 hours over night when a plow covered his car in four feet of snow. Even more amazing, his wife believed that story.