Charles Barclay… Kenan Thompson
Colin Jost[Starts with Michael Che in his set]
Michael Che: Tonight is the start of the final four with Virginia Beating Charles Barclays Alma Mater Auburn. Here to talk about it is Charles Barclay.[Charles Barclay joins Michael Che]
Charles Barclay: Boom! Muscles. What’s up, Michael? This is Charles Barkley, yeah, Auburn.
Michael Che: Auburn lost by one. Why are you so happy?
Charles Barclay: Because they came with the spread, man, yeah. Still, it was fun to see my school in the final four. [Cut to Charles Barclay ] They said, “It was going to be historic.” I said, “Yes, it is.” They said,”It’s going to be a party.” I said, “You’re damn right.” They said, “It’s going to be in Minneapolis.” I said, “Y’all have fun.”[Cut to Michael Che and Charles Barclay]
Michael Che: You don’t’ like Minneapolis, Charles?
Charles Barclay: Man, it’s crazy place, Michael. [Cut to Charles Barclay] The only think black in Minnesota is toe nails. They ain’t got no beach out there. Just a big old lake. They’re lake people, Michael. Lake people are shady. The only thing worse than lake people is river people. Oh, river people come at you like little beavers.[Cut to Michael Che and Charles Barclay]
Michael Che: So you won some money on the game?
Charles Barclay: Yes, yes. But not enough, I already lost $50,000 on my bracket.
Michael Che: What did you bet to win it all, Duke?
Charles Barclay: No, I bet everything on Hogwards Central. [Cut to Charles Barclay] I thought if a team of black wizards couldn’t win it all, nobody could. And then, later I found out that is not a real school but something from a Wayans Brothers script that got sent to me in 2004. You think that a former student athlete like myself would make better decisions?[Cut to Michael Che and Charles Barclay]
Michael Che: Student athlete? Did you even go to class?
Charles Barclay: Oh, sure I did, and I was good student too because they let me major in Blackjack.
Michael Che: Still, college must have been fun back then.
Charles Barclay: Oh, yeah. The ‘80s man! [Cut to Charles Barclay] It was a crazy time. Dancing was illegal and every dog had sunglasses. 35 years ago I was a kid with a dream of being in a movie with Michael Jordan and Tweety Bird. And I did it. I was an NBA MVP, an Olympic gold medalist, and over my career I made about $50 million.[Cut to Michael Che and Charles Barclay]
Michael Che: Wow.
Charles Barclay: And I gambled away $60 million.
Michael Che: Charles Barkley, everybody.
Charles Barclay: Somebody give me some money to put on.
Michael Che: It’s Weekend Update. I’m Michael Che.
Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.