Ego Nwodim[Starts with Chris and Sandra at a coffee shop. Chris Redd pays the bill.]
Chris Redd: Thank you.
Sandra Oh: Hey, I’ll send you what I owe you right now. [Sandra uses her phone to send the money to Chris]
Narrator: With services like Venmo and Apple pay, there are so many ways to send money in an instant.[Cut to Chris. Phone beeps and he checks.]
Chris Redd: Just got it right now, thanks.[Cut to Chris and Sandra]
Narrator: And While convenience is great, don’t forget, there’s also—[Cut to a blank cheque] ‘Cheques’. [Cut to Kate McKinnon writing a cheque] Because there’s nothing like furiously scribbling on a piece of paper, tearing it, flicking your wrist and saying,
Kate McKinnon: I trust this will suffice.
Narrator: Use Cheques for all your payment needs. Including, [Cut to Aidy Bryant writing a cheque] making him leave your daughter.
Aidy Bryant: Take this. Take this and never come back! Don’t pick up her calls. [Aidy Bryant handing over the cheque to a young man] She will be heartbroken but it needs to be done.[Cut to Sandra Oh writing a cheque]
Narrator: And hushing Mildred.
Sandra Oh: [Sandra Oh handing over the cheque to a young woman] Forget whatever you think you saw last night by the Gazebo.
Kate McKinnon: Cheques!
Narrator: Use cheques for things like [Cut to Aidy walking to a young man] Peter’s birthday.[Aidy Bryant handing over the cheque to a young man]
Aidy Bryant: For taking my rings off at night.
Narrator: Buying poison.[Cut to Ego Nwodim mixing the poison off her ring into a teacup]
Ego Nwodim: Just one sip and I become head of the board.[Cut to Sandra Oh]
Sandra Oh: Best of all, Cheques are easy. Here—[Cut to a blank cheque. Sandra Oh explains how to write a cheque.] what day is it. Here—his name. Here—how much. Here—the same but in letters. And here is the secret.
Aidy Bryant: Cheques!
Narrator: A cheque is drama. A cheque is a promise. Get them in baseball, Daffy Duck or Michigan state. And make sure to add the dash after the amount or god knows how many zeros they’ll add. [Ends with a man falling in a swimming pool] Cheques! Available at Ridgewood savings bank.