Taran Killam
Cecily Strong
Aidy Bryant
[Starts with Taran opening mirror cabinet and looking for medicine.
Male voice: You’ve dealt with your erectile dysfunction.
[Cut to Taran getting in the room]
Taran: Hi, I’m ready.
[Cut to Cecily Strong in bed]
Cecily Strong: That’s okay. Not tonight.
Male voice: But something’s still missing.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: What’s wrong?
[cut to Cecily Strong]
Cecily Strong: You’re able to achieve an erection and that’s great. But I need more than that. I need you to get turned.
[drums rolling]
Male voice: Introducing new Cialis Turnt. The only pill that combats your erectile dysfunction [Taran takes the pill] while giving you that unbeatable hip-hop sensation of getting turned.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: I’m about to love you like there’s a roller coaster in my penis.
[Cut to Cecily Strong]
Cecily Strong: What?
[Cut to Taran jumping and dancing to a trap music.]
[song is saying “Everybody get turnt!”]
Male voice: And Cialis Turnt is isn’t just for me.
[Cut to Aidy Bryant]
Aidy Bryant: When I started taking anti depressants, I lost my sex drive. But that’s when I found Turnt. And now, I freak my man crisis.
[Aidy Bryant takes the pill]
[Aidy Bryant is jumping and dancing to the same music]
Male voice: Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for sexual activity. [Cut to Taran dancing in a club] Then ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough to get Turnt because that’s a whole another thing. If you’re turnt for more than 6 hours, congratulations, you’re not legally Lil’ Wayne. Cialis Turnt, there’s a lot of ecstasy in this.