Cory Chisholm… Taran Killam
Gracelynn Chisholm… Cecily Strong
Buster Little… Matthew McConaughey
Sheila Lay… Aidy Bryant
Ed Sheeran… Kate McKinnon[Starts with WSB/TV ATLANTA video bumper]
Female voice: You’re watching WSB/TV ATLANTA. Up next, it’s Right Side Of the Bed.[Cut to Right Side Of the Bed video bumper] [cheers and applause] [Cut to Cory and Gracelynn on a sofa in their set]
Cory: Good great November morning, you guys!
Gracelynn: You’re watching Right Side Of The Bed. I’m Gracelynn Chisholm and I’m here with my husband Cory Chisholm, better known in the Chisholm house as the lip gloss thief.
Cory: Oh! I needed it because I could kiss all over my wife’s beautiful lips.[Cory jumps on Gracelynn to kiss her]
Gracelynn: Cory! Get off!
Cory: I just can’t help it. Can’t help myself. I just wanna throw you down on pile of leaves and go insane on your body.
Cory: Give me.
Gracelynn: We got a show to do. It’s 9:CoryEd Sheeran am. It’s in the morning. You already looking like a cartoon pork chop.
Cory: Um… you just make me so hot, I can’t focus on my job.
Gracelynn: Okay, enough! It’s our special thanksgiving episode and we have a great guest coming up a little bit later. From Buster’s By You Buffet, it’s chef, hunter and butcher, Buster Little.[Cut to Buster waving his hand]
Cory: Oh there he is. Oh, my now there he is.
Buster: [mumbling] I got something in my tongue. Excuse me. I say hello there. Buster Little’s here. If you need a turkey killed, cut, cooked, you know who to call. And by call, I mean like this. Coo-coo-cock-cock coo-coo-doo-doo-cock! Yeah![Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]
Gracelynn: Okay, well that was something. We’ll be back with Buster later in the show. And I’m excited to taste that turkey.
Cory: Ah! Me too. I am gonna stuff myself this thanksgiving coz I’ve been so good on my diet.
Gracelynn: Diet? Oh please, Cory! You ate a tray of brownies in your bubble bath last night!
Cory: Dirty liar! If that’s so, how do I keep this body so ady-yady!
Gracelynn: It’s called the Kardashian waist trainer girdle and you wear it everyday.
Cory: [squeaky voice] What? Ah-ah! It’s not a girdle. It is a boydle, y’all! [showing his girdle]
Gracelynn: Okay, alright. If you’re joining us, we got a great show. Up later is Buster Little who’s talking everything turkey.
Cory: Oh, looks like he’s already got his fist in it there.[Cut to Buster with his hand shoved inside the turkey]
Buster: Ho-ho, yeah! Hey there. Buster Little is here. Don’t you go getting scared y’all. I’m just spreading a little butter around the inside of this turkey. Even then, I’m about to do a puppet show. Check it out.[Buster raises his hand with the turkey like a puppet]
Turkey: Yo, what’s up Buster?
Buster: You got a good joke for our pop you loving?
Turkey: Right, you know I do. What was a turkey for Halloween?
Buster: Well I don’t know. What was it?
Turkey: A goblin.
Buster: Ha-ha! Wait a minute, I don’t get it.
Turkey: Well, what’s not to get?[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]
Gracelynn: Okay, I think this beard may have eaten his brain.
Gracelynn: Either that or he has spent too much time in the backwoods.
Cory: Yeah, well I’ve been trying to spend some time in your backwoods but there’s to much brush blocking the way.
Gracelynn: Cory! Cory Chisholm, what is shooting around the head of yours?
Cory: Hey! I’m just like every other football watching, beer drinking, pizza eating man in America. All I care about is getting some tail.[Cory trying to kiss Gracelynn]
Gracelynn: Oh! Good lord! Let’s check back with our guest please!
Gracelynn: Oh, my gosh! His oven is smoking.[Cut to Buster still with his hand inside the turkey. He looks drunk now.]
Buster: Hey, I don’t feel so good. My turkey friend here, he don’t feel so good either.
Turkey: Yeah, the room is spinning.
Buster: You alright?
Turkey: No![She slams his hand with the turkey on the table]
Buster: A turkey fainted! You better call 911.[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]
Gracelynn: Oh! You know what? Sheila Lay, did you clean that oven today?[Cut to Sheila Lay]
Sheila Lay: I sure did. With three cans of Easyoff. That’s more than nine times than what they say to you, so you’re welcome![Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]
Cory: Oh my goodness. Sheila Lay.
Gracelynn: That’s why he’s talking so crazy. He’s tripping all over cleaner.[You can see Buster sneaking in behind the sofa Cory and Gracelynn is sitting on.]
Cory: Anyway…[Buster scares Cory and Gracelynn, still with a turkey on his hand.]
Cory: Oh my god. You just scared a tiny fart right out of me.[Buster’s turkey now has a mouth, nose, eyebrows, mustache and glasses]
Buster: Look at him. I got my turkey friend all dressed up for church.
Gracelynn: Oh lord! Our next guest is supposed to be Ed Sheeran but I don’t know if it’s safe for himto come out.[Cut to Ed Sheeran with his guitar]
Ed Sheeran: Uh-uh! It just– It smells like petrol or something.[singing] Honey I will be loving you [Ed Sheeran faints because of the smoke] [Cut to Cory, Gracelynn and Buster]
Cory: Oh my! That poor ginger fell damn so hard!
Gracelynn: We gotta get out of this studio and air it out.
Cory: Yeah, I tell her to air it out every night.
Cory: What? Krrrr!
Buster: Hey, you two a real couple?
Gracelynn: What?[The End]