Them Trumps Rally

Alex Moffat

Darius Trump… Kenan Thompson

Darius Junior… Chris Redd

L’evanka… Ego Nwodim

[Starts with a man walking in]

Alex: Welcome to Pennsylvania, Mr. President. Thousands of your supporters have shown up. But the impeachment has the country on edge. So, you may have to be careful about what you say today.

[Cut to the Trumps]

Darius Trump: Careful? Please! They’ll be even more hyped because they all know Darius Trump.

[Cut to the show intro]

Narrator: From the producers of “Empire”, the first show to ask the question, “What if Donald Trump was black?” Darius Trump. Darius Jr. and Lavanka. Together, they are “Them Trumps.”

[Cut to Alex and the Trumps walking through the hallway]

Alex: The house of intelligence committee’s report has some serious accusations in it. The media says the tide is turning against you.

Darius Trump: The media won’t make or break me. My people will always support me.

[Cut to Darius Junior]

Darius Junior: The media is all lies. That’s in my new book. [Darius Junior shows his book] [Cut to L’evanka]

L’evanka: Come on, daddy. Don’t worry about the media. Your supporters didn’t even care when you wanted to have the G-7 summit at your presidential nightclub.

[Cut to everybody]

Darius Trump: I still think club DTF would have been the perfect spot. I mean, the ladies get in free. You can’t beat that, man.

Alex: Well, it is amazing how well they’ve been. These people don’t have a history of supporting a black candidate.

Darius Trump: Well, that’s because when they see me, they don’t see color, baby. I’m Darius Trump. I keep it real, man. They know me. I’m the one who’s making America swag again.

[Cut to the crowd hooting for Darius Trump]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States.

[Cut to Darius Trump walking to the Podium.]

Darius Trump: Thank you, thank you. People, emancipation is under attack. They say assaulted the Ukraine. They say I abused my office. And you know what? Maybe I did. Because I will do whatever it takes to win this election. I will pat somebody on the head right on fifth avenue with my own gun if I have to. And I know you will always have my back even though I’m black.

[Crowd starts booing]

Okay, let’s warm up the cops.

[the show ends]

Narrator: On the next “Them Trumps.”

Alex: I don’t think we can make it out without any trouble.

Darius Trump: My man, please, I’m the president. I’m the most protected man in the world.

[Darius Trump walks out the door. People are trashing his car.]

Alex: Call an Uber?

Darius Trump: Yes!