Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a dog at right top corner.]
Michael Che: A company in Texas is offering a service that will allow people to make an identical clone of their dog for $50,000. That story again, for $50,000, a company in Texas will sell you a different golden Retriever.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Roger Goodell at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly seeking a contract extension that would provide him with a salary of $50 million, use of a private jet, and lifetime health insurance for him and his family. That’s how expensive healthcare is. He is going to make $50 million a year and he’s still like, “What about the healthcare, though?”
[Picture changes to a man with very long mustache]
A man in India has set a new world record for longest mustache, growing it out to over 18 feet. It’s all part of his plan to someday die on an escalator.
[Picture changes to Prince Willian and Prince Harry]
It was reported that Prince William and Prince Harry will make cameos in the new Star Wars movie as storm troopers. Even more surprising, the whole time it’s been Queen Elizabeth inside C3-PO.