Big Dumb Hat

[Starts with pictures of women enjoying the fall.]

Female voice: Fall. Beauty. Women.

[Cut to Chloe, Amy and Heidi]

All: Hey, girlie.

Amy: Are you like us? A well off woman with perfect makeup and long straight hair?

Heidi: Are you between 20 and 45? And it’s fall outside?

Chloe: Do you want a personality that you can wear on your head?

All: Then you need big dumb hat.

Chloe: This is the hat that makes everyone say, “Oh her!”

Heidi: The hat that makes people think, “Oh, she wearing hat.”

Amy: The hat that says “When I was in high school, I wasn’t mean or nice.”

Heidi: Big.

Amy: Dumb.

Chloe: Hat.

Amy: Big dumb hat comes in colors like tan or… that’s it.

Heidi: And the brim is perfect to touch so people see a big dumb engagement ring. [touching the brim] “Oh, this? Yeah, it a biggie.”

Chloe: Am I a cow girl? No girl. But I got hat.

Amy: I’m plant based. Except for my cow boy hat.

Heidi: If you see me wearing this hat at the airport, you know I’m gonna push my way on before my boarding group.

Chloe: Wow, is your hat even bigger than before?

Amy: You tell me. [she’s wearing a hat that’s too big]

Chloe: You can wear big dumb hat anywhere. The beach or a soccer game.

Heidi: If you see this hat in Starbucks, you know it’s gonna be opening.

All: Big dumb hat.

Heidi: Want to hear a secret? I made a baby in this hat.

Chloe: I named my kids Poet, Story, Lyric, Rire and Arcade.

Amy: I post a picture from my wedding every single day.

Chloe:Can you dance in the hat? Well, you wish we didn’t.

[music playing] [they are dancing]

Heidi: Don’t you hate how we dance?

Chloe: Hat.

Amy: Dumb.

Heidi: Big.

Chloe: Big dumb hat is the hat that makes your boyfriend say, “It’s me or the hat.”

Amy: It’s the hat that screams, “Wait, I think I forgot to vote. Did I miss it? Can I still get a sticker?” Hat.

Chloe: Pair it with tiny little cursive tattoo.

Amy: Complicated morning routine and fake gluten allergy.

Heidi: Yellow stone watch party and a wood fire pizza oven. Look at that char.

Chloe: And at the end of the day, you’re gonna have a big old crease on your forehead from the hat.

Heidi: How can a man wear a big dumb hat?

Amy: I think so, but let’s find out.

[Marcello walks in wearing a hat]

Marcello: Hello, ladies. Let’s get vulnerable.

Chloe: No, you gotta go.

Heidi: So get your big dumb hat today. Wait, is your hat even bigger.

[Amy is wearing too big hat]

Amy: Maybe.

All: Big dumb hat.

Chloe: From the makers of dumb little dog.