Dunkin Donuts

Female voice: Deck the halls with boughs of doughnuts. Real customers are telling you why their holidays run on Dunkin.

Vanessa (actual customer): All I want for Christmas is a Dunkin Pepper Mint Dunke-ccino.

Aidy (actual customer): With the Dunkin app, I can order and pay on my smartphone.  So my coffee is waiting when I come in.

Casey (actual customer): I f***ing love Dunkin. What are you talking about?

Alex (actual customer): Where else can I get a breakfast and the perfect stocking stuffer?

Casey (actual customer): You wanna talk real customers? Kid, that’s me. I’m like the mayor of Dunkins. This is the face of Dunkin Donuts right here.

Staff: Hey, you can’t smoke in here, man.

Casey (actual customer): I’m not! Come on, I’m not smoking in here.

[Casey has his hand holding cigarette out of the window]

Staff: You’re smoking in here.

Casey (actual customer): Cigarette’s outside. Is there a cigarette inside?

Staff: It’s coming in through the crack of the window.

Casey (actual customer): Yeah, I come to Dunkin every day. Grab a donut, have an extra large, take a big dump, that’s kind of the routine. Then I’m gonna seat right over there.  This douchebag will move when I’m ready.

Female voice: And with Dunkin rewards app, there’s even more reason to celebrate the season.

Casey (actual customer): Yo! Free coffee! I got the big one! I got a free coffee right there on the app. [showing his phone that’s all broken.]

Alex (actual customer): What are you doing here? Story telling or something? Huh?

Casey (actual customer): Well then, show and tell Dunkin Nuts! [Caseu covers “Do” out of “Dunkin Donuts”] Show that, brother.

Melissa (actual employee): It’s a season for holiday drinks like–

Casey (actual customer): Never mind that. Hey, interview my buddy Dewey for the movie right in. Dewey, tell them what your favorite donut is.

Dewey: No, I don’t want to be in it.

Casey (actual customer): Come on, pal. It’s a movie. Tell them how you like the vanilla nut taps.

Dewey: What?

Casey (actual customer): The vanilla nut taps. [hits Dewey on his nuts]

Dewey: Ou! You dog!

[Dewey pushes Casey.]

Casey (actual customer): [pushing Dewey back] It’s just a joke. Cut your nails for god sake!

Dewey: I couldn’t breathe, Donny! Oh, yeah, go outside.

Casey (actual customer): Best part of my day is when I’m at Dunkin. Do you think that’s sad?

Alex (actual customer): Yes, very.

Female voice: Real customers know the holidays run on Dunkin.

[Casey hits Alex’s car with a coffee]

Dewey: Go back to Starbucks!

[The End]