Space Station Broadcast | Season 44 Episode 6

Captain Ed McGovern….Steve Carell

Lieutenant Becker….Leslie Jones

Lieutenant Sussman….Mikey Day

Kid (Paulston Middle School, Connecticut)….Ego Nwodim

Teacher Hailey (Tillman Middle School, Wyoming)….Aidy Bryant

Teacher (Orchard Middle School, Ohio)….Alex Moffat

Frozen Astronaut…Kate McKinnon

[Intro of NASA Television]

Captain Ed McGovern: [Cut to Sussman, Becker, and Ed] Hello, earthlings and happy space day. Captain Ed McGovern broadcasting live from the international space station to over 5,000 K through 8 science classrooms across the U.S.A. As I am joined by Lieutenant Sussman and Becker.

Lieutenant Sussman: Hi.

Lieutenant Becker: Hey!

Captain Ed McGovern: There’s also some Russian cosmonauts on board. It’s a party up here. Get back to work, bums.

Lieutenant Sussman: Okay. Bye-bye. [Sussman and Becker leave]

Captain Ed McGovern: I can’t wait to answer some of your questions about space and science. Let’s start with Paulson Middle School in Connecticut.

Kid (Paulston Middle School, Connecticut): [A student appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, what kind of experiments are you doing up there?

Captain Ed McGovern: Great question. We are actually studying how animals adapt to space, and we have funny monkey friends up here helping us out. Thanks for your question, star student. Okay, next. [Sound of a blast] God, mother of god. Oh, what happened?

Lieutenant Sussman: [Sussman comes in the screen] Sorry about that.

Captain Ed McGovern: What happened?

Lieutenant Sussman: There was an airlock breach in the bio lab. Got a little chilly in there but everything is fine now.

Captain Ed McGovern: Okay. Are the animals alright?

Lieutenant Sussman: What’s up?

Captain Ed McGovern: Are the animals alright?

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker comes in the screen] I need you right now.

Lieutenant Sussman: Yep. [Sussman and Becker leave]

Captain Ed McGovern: Well, I Apollo-gize about that. Let’s get back to questions. How about Tillman Middle School in Laramie, Wyoming.

Teacher Hailey: [Hailey appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, this is Haley like the comet and like Eminem’s daughter. Um, how big is the space station?

Captain Ed McGovern: That is a great question. It’s about 32,000 square feet. Down this way, there is a long corridor [frozen monkey floats in front of Ed] that winds into several works and living stations. [Sussman takes away the monkey] It’s kind of like a floating hamster habitat. Thanks, Haley, make sure that you comet to your studies. Now, let’s go to Orchard Middle School in Ohio.

Teacher (Orchard Middle School, Ohio): [Teacher appears on the right bottom of the screen] Hi, I’m a teacher. My students and I wanted to ask how you guys make food up there, but we’d like to change our question too, is that frozen monkey okay?

Captain Ed McGovern: What monkey? [frozen monkey floats in front of Ed] Oh. OH! This little guy, it’s Capooka. What are you doing? Yikes, he is cold! Wave hello, to everyone. [Ed tries to wave monkey’s hand but the hand breaks] Oh my god! Oh, god! No, no, no, no. [Sussman takes away that monkey] Okay, goodbye. Capooka! Teacher’s out there if you can mute your classroom TV for just a sec while I attend to some space business, that would be great. So, hit mute now. Sussman, what’s going on with the monkeys?

Lieutenant Sussman: [Sussman stands into the screen] Yes, they all froze.

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, Ki Chi?

Lieutenant Sussman: Yeah, Ki Chi hit a wall and shattered.

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, and the cat?

Lieutenant Sussman: Oh, the cat is weird. The pressure change caused its face to kind of like suck into itself. Good news is though; he’s alive.

Captain Ed McGovern: That’s not good news! There’s a cat with no face floating around! How bad is it down there?

Lieutenant Sussman: Come, look. [Ed and Sussman go down][Cat with the face looking like a butt hole floats into the screen]

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker appears on the screen] Cat ain’t got no damn face. [Becker leaves]

Lieutenant Sussman: [Ed and Sussman come again] So what do you want me to do?

Captain Ed McGovern: Just go seal off node three and try to find Svetlana.

Lieutenant Sussman: Yes, sir. [Sussman leaves]

Captain Ed McGovern: Oh, god! Be aware of your feet, please. Your shoes touched my mouth. Okay. Welcome back. Hey, here’s a fun fact. We are 234 miles above the Earth’s surface. And the view isn’t half bad. Come closer here. Look at that beautiful blue marble Coldef. Isn’t that spect—[Frozon human floats outside of the space ship] Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Svetlana! Oh, hey kids, don’t worry. That cosmonaut is fine. The Russians are used to being cold. Sussman, get on the crane. [Sussman comes and controls the arm of the spaceship]

Lieutenant Sussman: She’s so frozen, she might break.

Captain Ed McGovern: So don’t say that, please. Now, kids, what Lieutenant Sussman is doing is trying to give her just a little nudge back towards the hatch.

Lieutenant Sussman: If I do bring her in, it’ll be in pieces.

Captain Ed McGovern: Try harder, and please don’t say that.

Lieutenant Becker: [Becker appears nodding her head] I’m sorry, kids, this is a bad day for space. [Becker leaves]

Captain Ed McGovern: Okay. Who wants to hear a space joke? What is an astronaut’s favorite drink? A root beer float!

Lieutenant Sussman: Oh, my god, she’s breaking like a saltine.

Captain Ed McGovern: Will you cut the god damn feed!

America’s Got Talent: Wait, They’re Good? | Season 44 Episode 4

Announcer…..Darrell Hammond

Howie Mandel…..Kyle Mooney

Mel B…..Ego Nwodim

Heidi Klum…..Kate McKinnon

Simon Cowell…..Beck Bennett

Stacy…..Melissa Villaseñor

Debra…..Jonah Hill

Wilderness Contestant…..Cecily Strong

Sheila…..Leslie Jones

Levander…..Kenan Thompson

[ America’s Got Talent title. ]

Announcer: America’s Got Talent!

[ Cut to AGT Judges at their desk with the AGT audience clapping behind them. ]

Mel B: Hello, my love. What’s your name, dear?

[ Cut to the AGT stage where Stacy is waiting nervously for her chance to audition. ]

Stacy: Um, Stacy. [ Nervous giggle. ] I’m so nervous. I’ve never sang in front of people, ever.

Mel B: Well, this feels like a complete waste of time. But, alright, go ahead, dear.

Stacy: [She starts singing Lady Marmalade. ] More, more, mooooorrrrrrre.

[ Cut to the judges looking surprised and entertained. The audience is giving a standing ovation behind them. ] [ Cut to the AGT audience all beginning to stand up and give a roaring standing ovation. ]

Announcer: Wasn’t that cool? You never thought it would work out, but then suddenly, it did. [ Cut to AGT logo. ] Over the years, America’s Got Talent, has had so many of these moments. [ Several surprising moments from AGT are shown as clips as the announcer speaks. ] And now, we put them into one special. ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’ See the performances begin like one thing [ An elderly couple is holding hands on the audition stage. ] Then woah-oh, there’s something else. [ Cut to the elderly couple now freak dancing on the stage. ] [ Cut to Heidi Klum at the judge’s table. ]

Heidi: Hello, tell us your name.

[ Cut to Debra on the audition stage. He is dressed like a cowboy. ]

Debra: My name’s Debra, ma’am.

Heidi: Welcome, Debra. I hear you have some music for us.

Debra: Music, ma’am?

Heidi: Music. You’ve never heard the music?

Debra: I can’t say I have.

Heidi: Wow. Well, go ahead. Give it a shot.

Debra: Thank you, ma’am. [ The music starts and Debra starts to perform, Go Go Go Joseph. ] Go, go, go Joseph. You know what they say. Hey now Joseph, you’ll make it someday. Sha la la Joseph, you’re doing just fine. You and your dreams are ahead of your time. Go, go, go.

[ Cut to the AGT audience cheering wildly and giving a standing ovation. ]

Announcer: You didn’t think he could sing, did you? You monster! And look at Howie Mandel. [ Cut to Howie looking overly surprised and joyous. ] It’s like he’s never seen this before. But he actually has, a lot. [ Cut to the AGT logo. ] The ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’special has every moment.

[ Cut to Howie at the judges’ table. ]

Howie: So it says here that you were raised alone deep in the wilderness, like Jodie Foster’s character in that movie, “Nell”?

[ Cut to the contestant on stage in a nightgown. She is hunched over and waving her arms. ]

Wilderness Contestant: [ She speaks in a caveman like gibberish. ]

Howie: Great. We are you friends. Please. Make. Perform.

Wilderness Contestant: [ She sits on a stool and begins to sing, ‘Send in the Clowns’. ] Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair? [ Cut to Heidi looking bewildered then back to the wilderness contestant. ] Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air. [ Cut to the judges looking surprised and pleased. The audience is giving a standing ovation behind them. ]

Howie: What!!! This is crazy!!!

[ Cut back to the wilderness contestant. ]

Wilderness Contestant: Send in the clowns.

[ Cut to the AGT audience giving a standing ovation. ]

Announcer: And there goes the audience again. They genuinely didn’t see it coming. Even though they seen this guy, [ Cut to a man on stage. ] and this girl, [ Cut to a woman on stage. ] and even this. [ Cut to a dog on stage. ] And the moments just get more special. [ Cut to the AGT logo. ] [ Cut to Simon at the judge’s table. ]

Simon: Oh dear, who are you?

[ Cut to Sheila on stage. She is standing next to her husband Levander who appears to be in a coma. ]

Sheila: My name is Sheila Block and this is my husband, Levander. He always wanted to audition, but he’s in a coma.

Simon: Oh my God. I’m so sorry. May I ask why did you bring him on stage?

Sheila: Well sir, I was hoping I could sing his song for him. It’s what he would’ve wanted.

Simon: Certainly. It seems like something every normal person would do. Off you go.

[ The music starts for ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’. Sheila is dancing in place waiting for the cue, but instead Levander comes to life and begins to sing.]

Levander: Ain’t no mountain high. Ain’t no valley low. [ He takes off his hospital gown to reveal a sparkly outfit; Sheila also removes her dress to reveal a matching sparkly outfit. ] Ain’t no river wide enough baby. [ Cut to Howie screaming, ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ then back to the couple singing on stage. ]

Sheila: If you need me call me. No matter where you are. No matter how far.

Sheila & Levander: Don’t worry baby.

Sheila: Just call my name. I’ll be there in a hurry. You don’t have to worry. [ Two dancers start dancing behind the singing couple. ]

Sheila & Levander: ‘Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough. Ain’t no valley low enough. Ain’t no river wide enough. To keep me from getting to you, babe.

[ Cut to the judges looking shocked and happy. Heidi is raising her hand. ] [ Cut to the AGT logo. ]

Announcer: The ‘America’s Got Talent. Wait, They’re Good?’ Special. This Sunday at nine.