Aidy Bryant
Anya Taylor-Joy
Max… Pete Davidson
Naomi… Ego Nwodim
Elliot… Bowen Yang
Natalie… Heidi Gardner
Chess… Punkie Johnson
[Starts with two ladies hosting the college panel]
Aidy: Good afternoon, fellow students of NYU’s film studies department and thank you for tuning into live stream of our final guest panel of the year.
Anya: Please join us in welcoming our distinguished artist today. The cast members of HBO’s hit comedy and my favorite show “Roommates in the city”.
[Cut to the cast members of the show]
[cheers and applause]
Aidy: Our fellow students have submitted questions about comedy, your show and social issues. And we cannot wait to hear your answers. Specially from break out heart drop, Max.
Max: Oh. Hey everyone. Hi.
Anya: Max, stop. This is so fun. Okay, the first question is for Max. How do you come up with ideas for your character?
Max: Honestly, I don’t know. I just say what I think will be funny.
[Aidy and Anya laughing in a flirting way]
Aidy: Totally. Okay, so this next question is also for Max. Do you prefer blondes or brunetts?
Max: That’s tough, but blondes.
[Aidy and Anya laughing in a flirting way looking at each other]
Aidy: Okay. And Naomi, as a black woman, could you please explain race?
Naomi: Okay. Wow. That’s a very cool question for me. Well, I’m a comedian, so my priority is just being funny.
Anya: Um. Now back to Max. Frisbees or dogs?
Max: Frisbees or dogs? That’s tough. But I’m going to have to go with frisbees. Because you can toss it into a friend.
Aidy: Aw! And for Elliot. How has being gay and Chinese prevented you from being happy?
Elliot: Do you want to rephrase that?
Anya: Interesting. Okay, for everyone else, there’s a question submitted by Fran G. “I’ve never seen the show but I can see that two of you are gay, two of you are black, one of you is Asian and some of you are girls.” Elliot, let’s start with you.
Elliot: That was not a question.
Natalie: I just want to say I like dogs more than frisbees.
Anya: We’ll get to you. Max, what’s it like to work with celebrities?
Max: That’s tough. I mean, working with celebrities could be weird but ultimately, it’s awesome.
[Aidy and Anya laughing in a flirting way]
Aidy: That sounds fun. And for queer cast members, “What’s it like to do comedy in a world that cavalierly mocks your existence.
Elliot: Okay. Are there questions that are fun or about the show or less devastating?
Anya: Oh, yes, sure. What’s the typical page to stage process?
Chess: Okay. Well, that’s a great question. So, normally, we start pitching ideas. And here’s a funny story. One time–
Aidy: [interrupting] Oh, that’s great. And here’s a follow up for Max, it is so fun. Is it so fun having a hot and famous wife?
Max: Yes. It’s so fun. She’s so hot.
Aidy: Amazing. And back to Natalie. For a follow up. Here’s an extremely sad quote of your’s that I’ve taken out of context. “I hate myself and I have major body issues.” My question for you is is that bad for you?
Natalie: Yeah, it is bad.
Anya: Awesome. And Naomi, what advice do you have for survivors of terrorist attacks when it comes to breaking into the comedy community?
Naomi: Why is that my question? I mean, I guess I would say– You know. No. Bail. Pass. Not doing it. No.
Aidy: how about you, Natalie?
Natalie: Pass.
Anya: Max, do you like soda?
Max: Yeah, it tastes so good.
Aidy: And Natalie, why didn’t you go to standing rock?
Natalie: Pass.
Anya: Max, what’s your favorite pizza topping?
Max: Oh, cheese.
Aidy: Elliot, you’re a gay homo, yeah?
Elliot: Yep.
Aidy: And Chess, you’re girl gay, so no wear dress?
Chess: Yeah.
Aidy: Max, Playstation
Max: Playstation.
[Aidy and Anya laughing in a flirting way]
Anya: Naomi, if god gave you option to be white, would you take it?
Naomi: Girl, I’m not answering that. No.
Aidy: Okay. Elliot, if Starbucks made an ice tea that made you straight, would you sip it?
Elliot: Okay, I have a question. I’m gay, so I can hit you, right?
Anya: Max, Hannah El says, “If you ever cheat on your wife, please consider me.”
Max: Aw, that’s really awesome.
Aidy: And Natalie, marital rape is still not a crime in all Elliot0 states. What will you as a female comedian do about that?
Natalie: You two are really bad at this.
Anya: Wow! This has been great panel. Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have.
Aidy: Yeah. We’re signing off but we’re dropping all the panelist cell phone numbers in the chat so you can contact them with any lingering questions.
Panelists: Please do not do that.
Max: Awesome, text me. Yeah.