Fashion Coward – SNL | Season 44 Episode 8

Heidi Gardner

Ego Nwodim

Emma Stone

Aidy Bryant

Kate McKinnon

[Starts with a clip of exclusive fashion commercial]

Heidi Gardner: I let my look do the talking.

Ego Nwodim: My body is my canvas, and my clothes is my paint.

Narrator: When it comes to fashion, there’s no risk you won’t take. Well, congrats on being hot, but this ain’t for you. [Cut to a simple clothing store] Introducing fashion coward, the only stor for people who hate shopping and feel lost and scared, with clothes that suggest the general idea of a person. So many shirts are almost normal, but then they go like this. [Kate wearing a simle shirt with a knot at the bottom] We keep it safe with things like brown sweater, navy shirt, pants for the legs and one black dress that says keep it moving.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim from exclusive fashion commercial]

Ego Nwodim: My style tells a story.

[Cut to Emma in the simple clothing store]

Emma Stone: Same. My story is I’m a stranger to myself.

Aidy Bryant: I go in cruises with my parents.

Kate McKinnon: Ideal juror.

Narrator: Can’t decide between buttons and no buttons? We split the diff with a whole lot of this. [Cut to clips of shirts with half trail buttons] That’s a half trail of buttons that say – Bail! Bail, bail, bail. And you got to try on our big gray zip-up sweatshirt [Cut to clips of oversized hoodies] that doubles as a real life invisibility cloak. Try it on in our coward proof fitting room. As a child, you were humiliated in a Kohl’s fitting room where your mother said something so harmful, is seared off the top layer of your brain. You’re safe here with things like far mirrors.

[Cut to Kate checking her clothes on a mirror that’s pretty far]

Kate McKinnon: That’ll do.

Narrator: If an item of clothing makes you ask, am I this person?

Aidy Bryant: Maybe for like a rooftop party?

Narrator: It will immediately burst into flames. [The dress burns itself] Decisions are hard. That’s why if you take more than seconds to decide if you want something, the fitting room emits a mercy gas that knocks you out. [Kate faints] Then you’re carried home by a big strong man who shops for you. [Big strong man carrying Kate on his shoulder and choosing clothes for her] And we don’t sell swimsuits. You know why. [Cut to Kate, Aidy and Emma. They are very happy] Fashion coward.

Hobby Song – SNL | Season 44 Episode 8

Melissa Villaseñor

Emma Stone

[Starts with Melissa opening the Emma’s door] [Emma is reading her script] [Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Hey, Emma. Welcome back.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: Hey, Melissa. It’s good to see you. How have you been?

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Frickin’ great. I’m so happy.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: That’s great. I mean last time I was here, it was your first season, right?

Melissa Villaseñor: Yep. [Cut to Melissa] And I’ve grown so much since then. [Cut to Emma agreeing] Especially in the self-love/confidence department. [Cut to Melissa laughs] [Cut to Emma feeling awkward]

Emma Stone: Hmm, well, that’s cool. I’ll see ya.

[Cut to Emma let’s herself in]

Melissa Villaseñor: You know? I just had to look at myself and say, hey, [Cut to Emma and Melissa] you’re cool, Meliss. [Cut to Melissa] Let yourself rejoice in who you are. And you know what? I found a lot of peace through my hobbies.

[Cut to Emma and Melissa]

Emma Stone: That’s neat.

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Hey, you want to hear about them?

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: I mean I have to learn this –

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Great. I’m going to rap.

[Cut to music video of Melissa’s rap]

Yo, this goes out to all the hobby enthusiasts
when I’m not at work, what do I do?
do sexy Melissa things that I’m into
They’re called hobbies
ha-ha- I’m talking hobbies

Creative artsy type
that’s me all right
late at night drawing with my pixar light
gotta get the shading on my face just right
I’m doing a self-portrait in charcoal ya’ll, it’s crazy

[The portrait is singing]

These are my hobbies
These are my hobbies

I like biking, hiking, smelling my books
like drawing, painting, cooking for one
I sowing, knitting, smelling my books
I like napping, walking up and talking like Gandalf

[Cut to Emma and Melissa]

Emma Stone: Wait, hold up. Gandalf?

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Hmm-mm. I wake up and go, [In Gandalf voice] “That was a good nap.”

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: Awesome. And you smell your books?

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa Villaseñor: Oh, yeah, you got to smell books.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: I’m sorry to do this but I really have to get going.

Melissa Villaseñor: Oh! I’m almost done, though.

Emma Stone: Okay.

[Cut to Melissa’s rap music video]

Melissa Villaseñor: I just ordered some sick binoculars
so I could bird watch and study these big old birds
Jealous? J-J-J-jealous? Yeah, you’re jealous.
I like dreaming, singing, working on my posture

notebooks, planners, hugging my backpack
I like silence, karate, get away from my backpack
Everyone wants my art supplies that are inside my backpack.

Get your own!

[Cut to Emma and Melissa]

Announcer: We need Emma on set. Emma stone to the set. Please.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: Oh, shoot. They need me on set. So annoying.

Melissa Villaseñor: Yeah, no, [Cut to Melissa] that sounds annoying. Almost as annoying as when someone interrupts you while you’re rapping about your hobbies.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: I don’t think I’ve interrupted.

Melissa Villaseñor: [Cut to Melissa] Twice. You’ve interrupted twice. [Melissa stands] [Sad music plays] Emma Stone? More like, I’m a stone because stones don’t have feelings. And that’s you.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: I am not a stone. The truth is I do have a hobby. I was just embarrassed.

[Cut to Melissa sits in front of Emma]

Melissa Villaseñor: Never be embarrassed of your hobby. It’s a part of you.

[Cut to Emma and Melissa]

Emma Stone: I’m going to rap now.

[Cut to music video of Emma’s rap]

Out of tiny town full of figurines
I’ve been carving them since I was 15
It’s called Emmaville and I’m the queen
it’s a cutest little town you’ve ever seen

Barry the mailman, Peter the jester
And the town gossip who’s name is chester
A cheeky little goof who’s full of secrets
a whole lot more that I’ll tell you all about.

[Cut to Melissa. She is shocked.]

Melissa Villaseñor: [In announcer voice] Melissa to set, please. Oh, you heard him. I gotta go.

[Cut to Emma]

Emma Stone: Well, hey maybe we could – and she’s gone.

Melissa Villaseñor and Emma Stone: These are our hobbies