Family Feud- Harvey Family Thanksgiving

Steve Harvey… Kenan Thompson

Janelle… Leslie Jones

Mike… Chris Redd

Andre… Michael Che

Ricky Harvey

Carol… Aidy Bryant

Peter… Beck Bennett

Justin… Mikey Day

Cecil… Chance the Rapper

[Starts with Family Feud intro]

Male voice: It’s time to play Family Feud, thanks giving edition. Here’s your host, Steve Harvey.

[Cut to Steve Harvey walking in]

Steve Harvey: Okay. Okay. Okay, now, welcome to a special thanksgiving edition of Family Feud. Now, some folks like white meat. Some folks like dark meat. Let me tell you a secret. Everybody like dark meat. Now, thanksgiving is all about family. So, I got two special ones here today. First, it’s my own. It’s the Harvey family.

[Cut to the Harvey family] [cheers and applause] [Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Yeah. These people are not only related to me, but they also work in Steve Harvey organization. First, we got my wife, Janelle who handles all my appearances. What else I got to do today, darling?

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Well, after this, you got your daytime show. Then you got your radio show. Then you got your book signing at Red Lobster.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Wow! Yeah. You like it when I’m busy. Big daddy getting that money. Ha-ha. Next, we’ve got my brother, Mike, who designs all my suits.

[Cut to Mike]

Mike: What’s up, Steve? I came up with a new suit color yesterday. It is palorange.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: That’s gonna be a number one best seller. Plorange. Ha-ha-ha. I like that. Plorange. Next, we got my nephew Andre who writes jokes for me.

[Cut to Andre]

Andre: That’s right. I came up with the bit on ‘Little Big Shots’ where when a child says something you stare at him for 20 seconds like he’s a ghost.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, you mean like this? [Steve Harvey looks at camera] Yeah, I love that bit, man. And finally, we got my cousin Ricky who runs my personal line of mustache conditioning products.

[Cut to Ricky Harvey]

Ricky Harvey: That’s right. It’s called the Greasy Caterpillar.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Huge seller, man. Make you mustache dark and shiny like a slippery little penguin. And on the other side, we have got the Diedrichson family. [Cut to Diedrichson family. They are white] Now, we not blood related but these folks are like family to me. Carol Diedrichson has been on of my closest friends for over 30 years.

[Cut to Carol]

Carol: Yeah, that’s true. And I brought my wonderful family. You remember my husband Peter?

[cut to Peter]

Peter: Hey, Steve.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Hey, good to see you, Peter.

Carol: My son, Justin.

[Cut to Justin]

Justin: Hey, Steve.

[cut to Carol]

Carol: And my other son, Cecil.

[Cut to Cecil. He is black. he has mustache like Steve Harvey, he looks like Steve Harvey and he speaks like Steve Harvey.]

Cecil: How you doing, player? [he speaks like Steve Harvey] [Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Well, hey there, Cecil. Wow. You sure have grown up since I last saw you.

[Cut to Cecil]

Cecil: Yeah, it has been a minute.

[Cut to Carol looking at Steve Harvey and Cecil] [Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Hm, there’s something about you.

[Cut to Janelle looking furious at Steve Harvey]

Janelle: Yeah, I say so.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: You know what? Why don’t we just start the game? Give me two players up here. Let’s play the feud.

[Janelle and Carol walk to the stage. Carol tries to shake her hand with Janelle but Janelle rejects.]

Janelle: No, thank you.

Steve Harvey: What? I thought you all was friends. Women are strange. Okay, 100 people surveyed. Top four answers on the board. Name something that you’re thankful for.

[Carol presses the button]

Carol: My home.

Steve Harvey: Oh, good answer. Good answer. You like your home, huh?

Carol: Oh, yes. We love it in Tempe.

Steve Harvey: Tempe, Arizona? Oh, I love Tempe. I spent some time on tour there about 17, 18 years ago.

Carol: Oh, I remember. It was raining.

Steve Harvey: Huh! Anyway, show me a place to do the nasty!

[right answer bell]

Ay! Number one answer. Alright, do y’all want to pass or play?

Carol: Well, I’m glad to play with you, Steve.

Steve Harvey: Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, you were always like that.

Carol: Yeah.

[Steve Harvey peeks at Janelle. She is looking at him furiously.]

Alright, come on Diedrichson family. Something that you are thankful for. Peter? [Steve Harvey walks to Dierdrichson family]

Peter: Well, I hope this isn’t selfish, Steve, but I’m thankful for money. Not for me, but to provide for my family. Like, equipment for Justin’s street hockey team. Or buying pocket squares and super shiny shoes for Cecil.

Steve Harvey: Oh, you like shiny shoes, huh?

Cecil: Yeah. The shinier the better.

Steve Harvey: I hear you, man. I love me some gators. Show me, getting that money. [right answer bell] Alright, it’s up there. Okay, we got two left. Justin, something that you’re thankful for.

Justin: Oh, um, I gotta say my health. I’m the fastest one on my cross country team. But I’m not strong like Cecil.

Steve Harvey: Yeah, he is strong, ain’t he? He must have good genes.

Justin: Oh, yeah. Cecil’s always been big.He’s had a full mustache since age 11.

Cecil: And, I was the sexiest boy in the 6th grade.

Steve Harvey: Well, you and I are very similar. Show me, big and manly at an early age. [right answer bell] Oh, yes.

[Justin and Cecil do high-five]

Cecil: Half brother. All in.

Steve Harvey: Wait, wait. Hold up? Half brother? I thought you wasadopted.

Cecil: Oh, no, Steve. Mama had me before she got married 17 years ago.

Steve Harvey: 17 years? Okay. Now, I’m doing a math. That’s–

Steve Harvey and Cecil: Kind of freaky.

[Steve Harvey and Cecil look at each other awkwardly]

Steve Harvey: Oh my lord, help me. [sad music playing] [Steve Harvey walks to Carol] I did a bad thing. I did bad. I thought I was out. I thought I was all the way out.

Carol: No, Steve, there’s nothing you need to do, okay?

Peter: And what are we talking about?

Carol: Steve, Steve, look at me. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Steve Harvey: But, is he smart os is he like– [pointing at himself]

Carol: He’s so smart, Steve. So, smart. Go over. Say hi.

[Steve Harvey walks to Cecil]

Steve Harvey: Hey, there, little fellow. Do you mind if I play the feud with you? Tell me what you’r thankful for.

Cecil: Well, player, I’m thankful for family in whatever form it takes.

Steve Harvey: You damn right. Show me family. [right answer bell] Ay! There it is. The Diedrichson family win. Next up, we going to play the lightning round but I feel like I should just give them the money. We’ll be right back.

Janelle: Hold up. This ain’t no happy ending.

Steve Harvey: Yeah, we got a lot of stuff to talk about. We do.

Family Feud Extended Family

Steve Harvey… Kenan Thompson

Jackie Williams… Leslie Jones

Martin Williams… Jay Pharoah

Layla Williams… Sasheer Zamata

Raymond Williams… Michael Che

Darrel Williams-Magill… Tracy Morgan

Maria Williams-Magill… Cecily Strong

Rachael Magill… Venessa Bayer

Blake Magill… Jon Rudnitsky

[Starts with Family Feud intro]

Male voice: It’s time for Family Feud. And here’s your host, Steve Harvey.

[Cut to Steve Harvey walking in the set]

Steve Harvey: Okay. Now, welcome to Family Feud. Y’all like this suit? I got the tie from Shaq’s fist tie knot, knot as thick as Shaq’s fist. Okay, let’s meet our two families. [Cut to the Williams] Over here, we got the Williams family. How you doing, darling?

Jackie: I’m good, Steve. I’m Jackie and these are my three kids, Martin, Layla and Raymond.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, your husband didn’t want to play?

[Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: Well, I’ve been divorced for about six months but we’re doing alright.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, so you fresh on a scene. Okay. And over here, we got the Williams-Magill family. [cut to the Williams-Magill family] How are you doing today player?

Darrel: How you dong, Steve? I’m Darrel, and this is my beautiful wife Maria. My two step kids, Rachael and Blake.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Well, you look lovely today darling. [Cut to Darrel and Maria] How long have you been married?

Maria: About six months.

[Cut to Steve Harvey. He is suspicious.]

Steve Harvey: Hold up. Williams. Williams-Magill.

[Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: Yes! Darrel is my ex-husband and these are his kids.

[Cut to everybody]

Steve Harvey: So, you left her and then you married her. And now you’re both here together. Oh, damn!

[Cut to Darrel and Maria]

Darrel: The heart wants what it wants, Steve!

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: That ain’t the heart, player!

[Cut to Darrel and Maria]

Maria: It’s okay coz we are all working through this and doing our best.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: [laughing] I love this. [Cut to Darrel, Maria and Rachael] So, how you liking your new daddy?

Rachael: He’s cool, I guess. It might be nice if he put some clothes on when he cooks breakfast.

Darrel: And get baking grease on my new t-shirts? Uh-uh! I do a baby boy style.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, it’s only getting better. Oh, get me two people. Let’s play the feud. Come on!

[Jackie and Darrel walk forward] [Steve Harvey look at Jackie and Darrel’s faces]

Y’all okay?

Jackie: I told you, we are working through it.

Steve Harvey: Alright then. 100 people survey, top five answers on the board. Name something that people frequently forget.

[Jackie hits the buzzer]

Jackie: Their family.

Steve Harvey: Oh, right out the jump. Right out the jump. She’s going to jump right in with that one. Okay, I don’t know if that’s right, but I know it’s real. Show me, forget the kids.

[Cut to the answer screen. There is ‘family obligations’.] [right answer bell] [Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]

Steve Harvey: Okay, okay. There’s a lot of dead beats out there. Darrel, you got a better answer? Something that people forget?

Darrel: How about your password?

[Cut to Williams-Magill clapping] [Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]

Steve Harvey: That’s a good answer. That’s a good answer. Show me ‘password’.

[Cut to the answer screen.] [wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]

Steve Harvey: Oh, sorry player. Looks like we surveyed 100 divorced women. Okay, Williams family, you up.

[Steve Harvey walk to the Williams]

Martin, name something that people frequently forget.

[Cut to Martin]

Martin: To come to your residal coz they say they have to work.

[Cut to Darrel looking hurt] [Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]

Steve Harvey: Um, I’m sorry. That’s not an answer.

[Cut to Martin]

Martin: Exactly! That’s what I thought too.

[Cut to Darrel]

Darrel: I love you Martin. But no man should be forced to watch his son play the clavenet.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]

Steve Harvey: Wow! Wound is still fresh. Oh! Show me somebody ain’t show up somewhere.

[Cut to the answer screen] [wrong answer buzzer]

Oh, well, Layla. Something that people forget.

Layla: I know something. Your morality.

[Cut to Darrel]

Darrel: How you talking about morals when you out there stripping every night?

[Cut to Layla]

Layla: I got to make money.

[Cut to Darrel]

Darrel: It’s not even a real strip-club. It’s a car-wash with a room in the back.

[Cut to Layla]

Layla: That’s what happens when your daddy abandons you for a cruise ship director. You ain’t around! You weren’t around us.

Steve Harvey: Wait! Folks, let’s just remember hurt can go a long way. Show me keep em off the pole.

[Cut to answer screen] [wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]

I’m sorry. Let’s go over to Raymond.

[Raymond is not there]

Wait! Hold up, where did he go?

[Cut to the Williams-Magill. Raymond is standing behind them.] [Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: Raymond, what are you doing?

[Cut to Raymond and the Williams-Magill]

Raymond: Look mom, I’m sorry. But these people are happy.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]

Steve Harvey: Well, you can’t fault a man for wanting some happiness. We back to Jackie, something that people forget.

[Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: You know what, Steve? I’m gonna give a real answer. Because I’m not gonna let them win. Okay, something you forget is… commitment!

[Cut to Darrel]

Darrel: Oh! Here we go.

[Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: You took a vow, Darrel, of love, at the Fort-Queens hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?

[Cut to the answer screen] [wrong buzzer] [Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams] [yelling] I loved you Darrel. I had your kids.

[wrong buzzer]

Steve Harvey: That means stop. That’s what that means. It’s over. I’m sorry, that is not up there. Looks like the Williams-Magill family has a chance to steal.

[Cut to Jackie]

Jackie: [yelling] He has stolen enough from me, Steve!

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: I guess I walked right into that one.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams-Magill]

Okay, give me some good ides. Williams-Magill, come on!

Maria: Your keys.

Rachael: Your phone.

Blake: Your ID.

Raymond: To follow your heart, daddy.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and Darrel]

Steve Harvey: Okay, Darrel, something that people forget.

Darrel: Look, man! I’m a man. Sometimes men make mistakes. Like I did in my previous marriage. We were young, horny, and I liked it raw. I’m old school.

Steve Harvey: Hey, Darrel, I hear you player. Loud and clear. Show me, ‘I forgot to pull out’.

[Cut to answer screen] [right answer bell] [Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams-Magill]

Williams-Magill wins again. You know what? I’ll just write this family a check for everything in my bank account right now. We’ll be right back.

[The End]