Fire Island

[Star with video clips of people partying in an Island]

Male voice: Audiences are buzzing about “Fire Island,” a new reality show on Logo about ix sexy gay guys sharing a beach house.

Bobby: Cocktails, sunshine, boys.

Brandon: It’s a gay Disneyland, y’all.

Male voice: And if you like separating types of people into shows, you’ll love logo’s other new reality show, “Cherry Grove,” about a group of affluent lesbians, one beach away.

[Cut to ladies taking care of their babies in a beach house.]

Kate: Hey, Beth, did you pack my water socks? Beth? Beth? Beth?

Male voice: Spend a weekend with these sexy studs.

Brandon: 21, and I’m the crazy little one.

Male voice: And these women.

Aidy: I’m 38. And I’m the very intolerant one.

Male voice: Get ready for the insane parties.

Brandon: This weekend, I’m ready for anything.

[Cut to ladies singing dinner prayer]

Male voice: If you think Fire Island is nonstop sex, wait till you see what passes for a bang fest in Cherry Grove.

[Cut to ladies crying in bed]

Kate: [sobbing] I just want you to tell me you see me.

Scarlett: [sobbing] I see you.

Male voice: The boys may love drama, but watch these ladies lose it.

[Cut to Aidy taking pictures of a baby]

Cecily: Hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought we said no screens.

Aidy: Your rules, Puck.

Cecily: I just think if we both agree on something–

Aidy: I do agree, Puck, but when you hammer and you hammer, it’s hard to be in love with you.

Cecily: I’m sorry you feel like hammering.

Male voice: So, get ready for the raunchiest–

[Cut to Scarlett keeping her baby calm]

— craziest–

Kate: That’s a wold sanctuary, alright!

Male voice: Gayest summer you’ve ever had.

Kate: Excuse me, sir, can you lower your jazz? There are five miracles of home water birth asleep in this house.

Scarlett: It’s almost 9 PM.

Male voice: Cherry Grove. Coming soon on Logo. Yas, queen, work queen, yas.