Male voice: Audiences are buzzing about “Fire Island,” a new reality show on Logo about ix sexy gay guys sharing a beach house.
Bobby: Cocktails, sunshine, boys.
Brandon: It’s a gay Disneyland, y’all.
Male voice: And if you like separating types of people into shows, you’ll love logo’s other new reality show, “Cherry Grove,” about a group of affluent lesbians, one beach away.[Cut to ladies taking care of their babies in a beach house.]
Kate: Hey, Beth, did you pack my water socks? Beth? Beth? Beth?
Male voice: Spend a weekend with these sexy studs.
Brandon: 21, and I’m the crazy little one.
Male voice: And these women.
Aidy: I’m 38. And I’m the very intolerant one.
Male voice: Get ready for the insane parties.
Brandon: This weekend, I’m ready for anything.[Cut to ladies singing dinner prayer]
Male voice: If you think Fire Island is nonstop sex, wait till you see what passes for a bang fest in Cherry Grove.[Cut to ladies crying in bed]
Kate: [sobbing] I just want you to tell me you see me.
Scarlett: [sobbing] I see you.
Male voice: The boys may love drama, but watch these ladies lose it.[Cut to Aidy taking pictures of a baby]
Cecily: Hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought we said no screens.
Aidy: Your rules, Puck.
Cecily: I just think if we both agree on something–
Aidy: I do agree, Puck, but when you hammer and you hammer, it’s hard to be in love with you.
Cecily: I’m sorry you feel like hammering.
Male voice: So, get ready for the raunchiest–[Cut to Scarlett keeping her baby calm]
Kate: That’s a wold sanctuary, alright!
Male voice: Gayest summer you’ve ever had.
Kate: Excuse me, sir, can you lower your jazz? There are five miracles of home water birth asleep in this house.
Scarlett: It’s almost 9 PM.
Male voice: Cherry Grove. Coming soon on Logo. Yas, queen, work queen, yas.