Colin Jost
Jill Davenport… Cecily Strong
[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Well, the holiday shopping season is officially under way. Here to tell us the best tech gadgets for the guy in your life is reporter from Glamour magazine, Jill Davenport.
[Jill slides in]
Jill: Thank you, Colin. [Jill is flirt-gesturing] It’s so great to be here. I’m like, a huge fan.
Colin Jost: Oh, my god. Thank you so much, Jill.
Jill: Wait, how did you say my name?
Colin Jost: Ah, I’m sorry. Did I miss pronounce it? Jill?
Jill: No. You sort of like, funny. Like, I’m watching you! Alright. [Jill is playing with her hair] So, the best gadgets– My god! I’m like, so hot out here. Do you mind if I take my jacket off, first? [take off her jacket]
Colin Jost: No, that’s fine.
Jill: [laughs] Of course you don’t mind. It’s like a free show. [Jill is playing with her hair]
Colin Jost: Jill, I have to say. I feel like you’re kind of trying to flirt with me.
Jill: What? Colin! I have like, a boyfriend. Can we just talk about gadgets?
Colin Jost: Yes, please. Let’s.
Jill: Please? Oh, Mr. Manners. Okay, professional. [looking into her shirt.] Oh, my god! What’s in my shirt. [looks at Colin Jost] Oh, my god! Did you just see down my shirt? I’m so embarrassed.
Colin Jost: Jill, no. I was not looking–
Jill: Are you making fun of me? Oh, my god. You are so laughing at me right now. You are! Michael, is Colin laughing at me?
[Cut to Michael. He has his headphones on and is nodding to the music.]
[Cut to Colin Jost and Jill]
Oh, my god. I’m like, freezing out here. I’m so cold. Can I have your coat?
Colin Jost: You want my coat?
[Jill nods her head]
Okay, sure. It feels like you just had one, but that’s great.
[Colin Jost opens his coat and gives it to Jill]
Jill: Gentlemen. I guess they still do exist.
Colin Jost: Okay. Here you go. Alright. So, gadgets–
Jill: Oh, my god. Do I look like a baby in your coat?
Colin Jost: Jill, are you only out here to flirt with me?
Jill: Stop! I have a boyfriend. You’re making me laugh. Wait, can you open this jar for me.
[Jill hands Colin Jost a red jar]
Colin Jost: Is this about gadgets?
Jill: Yes, basically.
[Colin Jost opens the jar’s lid]
Thank you.
[Colin Jost takes a popsicle out and starts licking it.]
Colin Jost: Wait! That jar just had a popsible in it?
Jill: Get your mind out of the gutter!
Colin Jost: Oh, my god. Look, just tell me one tech gadget.
Jill: You are so bad. You know, I might have to go out with you after all.
Colin Jost: Go out? You just said you have a boyfriend.
Jill: Yeah, but he died.
Colin Jost: Jill Davenport, everyone. I need my coat back.