Colin Jost
Michael Che
Garage… Kate McKinnon
Her… Sarah Silverman
[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]
Michael Che: This week, Marvel comics debut it’s latest character, female version of Thor, prompting a lot of controversy amongst comic book fans. And here to comment is the feminist music duo, Garage and Her.
[Garage and Her slide in with a guitar]
[cheers and applause]
Garage: It’s pronounced Gara-Che, Michael.
Michael Che: Oh! And you’re Gara-Che?
Garage: Yes. Gara-Che. It means strength, in a Himalayan mountain language that I looked upon the internet.
Michael Che: And you’re Her?
Her: No, I’m me.
Michael Che: What have you been up to?
[Cut to Garage and Her
Her: Uh! We just finished our biggest tour ever.
Garage: It was one night. It was magical. And it was poorly attended.
[Cut to Garage, Michael Che and Her]
Michael Che: So, what do you think about this new female Thor character?
Her: Thor has always been a woman, Michael.
Garage: Anyone who has strength is a woman.
[Cut to Garage and Her]
Her: Anyone who has courage is a woman.
Garage: And Michael, there are a lot more women out there than you think. Two, three, four…
[Garage starts playing guitar]
Garage and Her: The wind is a woman
the earth is a woman
fire is a woman
and the clouds are women too.
the girl is a woman
a dog can be a woman
a baby is a lady
and a plant, a plant can have a boob
Garage: Take it, take it.
Her: You can be a woman
he show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is a woman
garbanzo beans is a woman
and San Diego too
Garage: Jesus was a woman
Italians are woman
Walt Disney was a woman
and Pixar, Pixar has a pointed shoe
[Garage stops playing guitar]
Okay, stop. I have to change the key.
[Cut to Michael Che, Her and Garage]
Michael Che: [pointing at what Her is holding] Is that even an instrument?
[Cut to Garage and Her]
Her: Yes, it’s a Chimone. It makes a really shuttle sound. Is this my– um, where is my microphone? It sounds like this. [Her makes chewing sound]
[Cut to Michael Che, Her and Garage]
Her: And it grades cheese.
Michael Che: Oh!
Garage: And it is also a woman. Two, three, four…
[Cut to Garage and Her]
Garage and Her: The brand of cat food Adabi is a strong Christian woman
male gay is a mistress and aerobic’s cuba queen.
Garage: My guitar is a woman
Garage and Her: Bill Marr is a woman.
each tapeworm is a woman
and a woman, a woman is me.
and a woman, a woman is me.
[Garage stops playing guitar]
[Cut to Michael Che, Her and Garage]
Michael Che: Garage and Her, everyone.
Garage: Michael Che, you’re a woman.
Michael Che: Thank you. For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.
Garage: I’m Colin Jost. Good night.