Genetic Lab

Cecily Strong

Beck Bennett

Aidy Bryant

Kenan Thompson

Aaron… Sam Rockwell

Mikey Day

[Starts with Cecily giving a tour of her lab to visitors from Department of Health]

Cecily: Which brings us to the last stop on our tour. The next gene labs innovation hub. Here, our genetic engineers are developing cutting edge technologies that will revolutionize medical science. And if the department of health gives us approval to continue our research, this company can save lives.

[The visitors are clapping]

Well, I’ve certainly done a lot of talking.

Beck: [in Aidy’s ear] You think?

Cecily: Um, uh, so… Now, I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.

Kenan: Uh, yeah, I have one. What’s that?

[pointing at three scientists testing a dog making a lego house. It has human hands.]

Cecily: Um, you know, I’m not entirely sure but I can promise you that it is cutting edge

Kenan: Okay, because it looks like a dog’s head on a human body.

Beck: Why did they make that?

Cecily: Great question. You know what, let’s see if we can get someone out to come speak with us.

[Cecily calls a scientist out.]

Aaron: What? I’m very busy.

Cecily: Oh, Dr. Goldman. The folks from the Department of Health are curious about your project.

Aaron: Well, make it quick. We’re on a virtue of major brekthrough.

[The dog-human is solving the Rubik’s cube]

Aidy: Um, what is your project?

Aaron: What does it look like? We made a dog head guy.

Beck: Yeah, okay, but why?

Aaron: Well, because we could.

[Another scientist walks out]

Mikey: Aaron, you might want to take a look at this.

[The dog-human has successfully solved the Rubik’s cube.]

Aaron: Wow!

Mikey: Yeah. We did it.

Kenan: Um, just out of curiosity, how much money have you spent on that thing?

Aaron: Oh, so far $35 million.

Aidy: Oh, that’s insane.

Aaron: I know. Worth every penny. [phone ringing] Dammit. [answers the phone] Hello? [dog barking] Oh, my god.

[Cut to the dog-huma. It’s him who is calling Aaron]

He’s making phone calls now. We are done here.

[Aaron walks away]

Beck: I’m sorry. I think this has to be breaking some sort of law.

Cecily: Oh, no, no, no. Every project is thoroughly vetted by our legal council.

Kenan: And where might we find this person?

Aaron: You’re looking at him, pal. There’s no law that says you can’t make a dog head guy. I googled it.

[The dog-human is eating a sandwich]

Mikey: Aaron, hear me out. I think he’s ready to start wearing shoes.

Aaron: No. No. He’s just gonna chew them.

Mikey: How do you know, Aaron?

Aaron: Because I created him. And don’t forget that that is my dog’s head on my dead brother’s body.

[Melissa come in]

Melissa: Guys, he is talking.

Aaron: What? What did he say?

Melissa: He says he wants us to make a dog head girl.

Aaron: We got work to do.

Mikey: Yes, we do.

Cecily: So, you’re gonna shut us down, right?

Kenan: Oh, most definitely.

Aidy: Yeah.