HBO Mario Kart Trailer

Mario… Pedro Pascal

Princess… Chloe Fineman

Male voice: HBO’s The Last of Us is a hit, proving a video game can become a prestige dystopian drama. HBO is doing it again with another iconic game.

Female voice: It’s been 10 years since our kingdom fell. The only thing we have left, hope.

Heidi: I have important cargo I need smuggled to Rambo road. People say you used to drive?

Mario: People say a lot of things.

Heidi: You got a name?

Mario: It’s a me Mario. So what’s the cargo?

Heidi: Not what? Who? She’s a princess. Really, she was? Until he took over.

Mario: We’ll never make it on foot.

Heidi: You won’t have to.

[Heidi shows him a Mario Kart]

Mario: Let’s a-go.

Male voice: From the producers of “The Last of Us” and the master storytellers behind Mario Kart 1 through 8.

Princess: What’s it like out here?

Mario: Carting out out here isn’t a game. We’re gonna make it? We need all the help we can get.

Luigi: It’s a Luigi time.

Mario: Everything on this road wants us dead.

Princess: What is the thing?

Luigi: Goomba, cinci and fungus with shoes for legs.

Male voice: All your favorite wacky racers reimagined as complex dramatic HBO characters.

Yoshi: I’m Yoshi. I’m bisexual.

Toad: My name’s Toad. Also, I’m bisexual.

Male voice: “HBO pick the wrong game to do this with”, reads Variety. “Yeah, this ain’t it,” adds the New York Times.

Princess: [seeing Mario eat the mushroom] You eat that poison?

Mario: It makes me feel big, okay? I need to feel big. Because Bowser is out there. And he’s the main bad guy.

Mario narrating: When we’re out there in our carts…

Luigi: Woohoo, I love this.

Mario narrating: … I need you to trust me.

Mario: Hold on. Ah!

Mario narrating: I’ll get you to Rainbow Road.

Toad: There’s a shell on my seat.

Mario: You can do it.

Toad: No. It’s red.

[Toad’s cart gets destroyed]

Princess: What if we crash?

Mario: Little guy in a cloud comes and uses a fishing pole to put you back on the road.

Princess: Oh, okay.

New HBO Shows | Season 44 Episode 17

Jon Snow… Kit Harington

Ygritte (White Walker)… Heidi Gardner

Sam… Kyle Mooney

Gilly… Cecily Strong

Tormund Giantsbane… Mikey Day

Hodor… Beck Bennett

[Starts with game of thrones intro]

Narrator: Game Of Thrones, the final season. [Cut to different movie clips from Game of Throne series] Only six episodes remain until we say goodbye to HBO’s thrilling saga. But the journey continues with prequels, sequels and spinoffs. [Cut to trailer of Castle Black] Like “Castle Black”, a sexy moody drama about forbidden love.

[Cut to Jon Snow drinking wine]

Ygritte: Hey. [Ygritte as a white walker comes in]

Jon Snow: You came.

[Cut to Ygritte]

Ygritte: Yeah. And you promised that when winter came you would tell your friends about me, about us. Well, winter is here, Jon.

[Cut to Jon Snow]

Jon Snow: It’s not that simple. You’re dead.

[Cut to Ygritte]

Ygritte: You were dead too.

[Cut to Jon Snow. He stands up emotionally.]

Jon Snow: That was different and you know it. [Ygritte starts opening her clothes] What are you doing? Stop. Stop that.

Ygritte: This is what you want, isn’t it? Come take it. [Ygritte is only skeleton inside her clothes] [Laughter]

Narrator: And check out everyone’s favorite [Cut to video clip of Arya Stark from Game of Thrones] assassin in cartoon form. [Cut to video clip of Arya in cartoon form] It’s Arya.

[Cut to cartoon. A boy is talking to Arya in the hallway of school.]

Cartoon Boy: Hey, Arya, are you going to dance with the faceless man? [Arya stabs the boy’s neck with her needle sword and kills him.]

[Cut to Arya]

Cartoon Arya: A girl is going with her friends.

[Cut to promotion video clips of The Queen of King’s Landing]

Narrator: And if you’re looking for laughs, you’ll love Sam and Gilly in “The Queen of King’s Landing”.

[Cut to Sam in the kitchen. Gilly walks inside later with her baby]

Gilly: Sam, what happened to the kitchen? [Cut to Gilly] Were we attacked by the free folk?

[Cut to Sam]

Sam: Even worse. I tried to make dinner.

[Cut to Sam and Gilly]

[Cut to different promotional video clips]

Narrator: Plus it’s going to be a game of crossovers with shows like [A picture of Cersei appears] Cersei and the City, [Cut to pictures of Grey Worm, Lord Verys, Theon Greyjoy] No ballers, [Cut to pictures of Mellisandre] The Marvelous Mrs. Mellisandre, and [Cut to dragons breathing fire] Dragons aren’t the only ones spitting fire on. [Cut to intro of Wildling Out] Wildling Out.

[Cut to rap battle between Wildlings]

Tormund Giantsbane: This white bitch know he can’t stop me. Yo, why y’all got me out here battling bootleg king Joffrey?

[Cut to promotion video clips of HBO KIDS shows]

Narrator: And over on HBO kids, we got family friendly shows like Dire Guys and Hodor’s house.

[Cut to Hodor is holding the door from the inside]

Hodor: Hodor! [Hodor leaves the door and smiles] [Cut to flowers laughing at Hodor]

[Cut to promotion video clips of Game of Thrones Special Victims Unit]

Narrator: And franchises collide in our new procedural, “GOT SVU”.

[Cut to detectives in a crime scene wearing similar clothes to the Game of Thrones]

Male Detective: You tell me some sick son of a bitch cuts his thing off.

Female detective: Yes.

Male Detective: Then fed it to his dog?

Female detective: Seems so.

Male Detective: Then gauze the man’s eyes out.

Female detective: Yeah.

Male Detective: Then fed in his own eyes?

Female detective: Bingo

[Cut to detectives and a human corpse]

Male Detective: then wore his dead skin to an orgy.

Female detective: Ding ding.

Male Detective: Then got busy in the holes where his eyes used to be?

Female detective: Circle gets the square.

[Cut to outro of Game of thrones]

Narrator: Game of thrones. We’re going full “Star Wars” on this.