HIV Commercial

Aubrey Plaza

Tommy… Mikey Day

Mario… Marcello Hernandez

Michael Longfellow

Jamal… Devon Walker

[Starts with people shooting at a studio]

Aubrey: All right. Let’s try to get this next shot in before lunch. I threw my breakfast at my assistant, so I’m starving. Tommy, I want you dancing on top. Camera then cuts to Mario. You’re poor and everybody shots. And then Jamal, you give your line while toasting Mario. sound good?

Jamal: Yep.

Tommy: Yeah.

Aubrey: Okay, places.

Michael: Divato commercial, club scene, take one.

Aubrey: Action.

Tommy: Living with HIV, I learned I could stay undetectable with fewer medicines.

Mario: Most HIV pills have so many medicines, but Divato has less and it’s just as effective.

Jamal: That’s why I switched to Divato HIV treatment. I didn’t gay though.

Aubrey: Cut. Okay, that was a good first run, guys. Tommy, maybe a little better dancing up top.

Tommy: Yeah, got it. I can do a little more.

Aubrey: Not really more. Just better. Perfect Mario. And Jamal, buddy, I feel like you may be added a little there at the end.

Jamal: No, I don’t think I did that. No.

Aubrey: No, definitely.

Jamal: Okay.

Aubrey: The line is “That’s why I switched to do Divato HIV treatment,” then full stop.

Jamal: Yep. Got it. All right.

Aubrey: Good?

Jamal: Yes. Okay, let’s go again, from the top. And action.

Tommy: living with HIV, I learned I could stay undetectable with fewer medicines.

Mario: Most HIV pills have so many medicines, but Divato has less, and it’s just as effective.

Jamal: That’s why I switched to the bottle HIV treatment. Fact you can get HIV from a girl. That’s how I did it.

Aubrey: Cut. Again. Again, wow.

Tommy: Did I mess up the dancing?

Aubrey: Yeah. It was worse this time. Once again, Mario, perfection. And Jamal.

Jamal: Yeah.

Aubrey: Buddy, you know what I’m gonna say.

Jamal: Oh, I messed up the dancing.

Aubrey: No. You add libs again. Are you comfortable with the script?

Jamal: No, I’m not at all.

Aubrey: What’s the problem?

Jamal: I just feel like it’s not clear that my character’s a stright, respectfully.

Aubrey: Okay, well, he’s not. This scene takes place at a gay club.

Jamal: Oh, word. Okay.

Aubrey: Yeah. Is that going to be a problem for you?

Jamal: No, not at all. I just ain’t know that.

Aubrey: Great, because I’d really love to get this scene wrapped before my salad gets cold. It’s a hot salad. Okay? All right. And let’s go again. And action.

Tommy: Living with HIV, I learned I could say undetectable with fewer medici—

Jamal: Yo dude, I think it’s a gay club.

Tommy: What?

Jamal: I mean, you know, you know, I’m cool with that. I just didn’t know that.

Tommy: Okay.

Jamal: Facts. There’d be mad straight girls at the gay club and they’d be ready and that’s where I come in.

Tommy: Can somebody please yell cut?

Aubrey: Cut, cut, cut. [Aubrey is eating her salad] Sorry. Sorry, I took a bite of my hot salad. It burned the roof of my mouth.

Jamal: How did I do?

Aubrey: It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Besides Tommy’s dancing.

Tommy: I’m trying.

Jamal: I just feel like since I’m straight, my guy should be straight too. You know what I’m saying?

Mario: Dude, it’s just acting bro. I’m not actually gay either.

Jamal: Okay, cap.

Aubrey: Jamal, if you’re uncomfortable, we can just give your lines to Mario.

Jamal: Okay, do I still get paid the same?

Aubrey: No, you don’t get paid. You just go home.

Jamal: But I really need this job.

Aubrey: Okay, then say the lines.

Jamal: Okay, what is my guy got HIV from basketball like Magic Johnson?

Aubrey: No. Look, I appreciate you coming down but clearly you’re not mature enough to handle this role.

Jamal: Yeah. That’s a fact.

Aubrey: So why don’t you and Tommy just leave. Please.

Tommy: Wait. what? Me?