Beck Bennett
Kyle Mooney
Adam Sandler
[Music video. It looks like a video of rock song in ‘80s]
Beck Bennett: Clothes, we wear them everyday. I’m even wearing it right now.
Kyle Mooney: But what are they? Cloth? Sure.
Beck Bennett: But if you look a little closer, you’ll realize the clothes are actually just holes.
Kyle Mooney: It’s a lot, I know. Don’t worry sweet thing! We’ll break it down.
Beck Bennett: My shirt has a hole just for my neck
two long holes for my arms
and a big hole for my waist
my shirt is just holes
Kyle Mooney: My pants, two long holes for my legs
and a big hole for my waist
where my pants will meet my shirt
my pants are just holes
Beck Bennett: But clothes are not the only things with holes
Kyle Mooney: No, no, no!
Beck Bennett: Our bodies,
Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney: Our bodies, they have holes too
Clothes are holes, yeah, yeah!
and we get inside those holes
to cover our bodies
then our bodies’ prive in holes
Beck Bennett: Because we cannot show those holes
Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney: it’s a law that was based a long time ago
Beck Bennett: We wear public holes on our private holes.
Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney: Those are holes called clothes.
Beck Bennett: I think about holes every night and day
because everyone wears holes
Kyle Mooney: Some people in holy holes
a boxer in a short holes
you wear your best holes to the prom
Beck Bennett: Our hip-hop holes and cowboy holes
and the holes that get to fly in the space
Kyle Mooney: Winston Churchill made big decision wearing holes.
Beck Bennett: Federico Bellini, Roberto Benigni
they finally made Italian holes
even Andy Warhol wore holes
Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney: To cover up, Andy wore holes
Clothes are holes, yeah, yeah!
and we get inside those holes
to cover up bodies
then our bodies’ prive in holes
Beck Bennett: Because if we all showed our holes
you would see all the holes of the people you know
and I don’t want to see those holes
Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney: I want to see clothe’s holes
Adam Sandler: [Comes in with a guitar] Wow, wow, wow.
I think I’m seeing holes now
everybody hold now
wow
Your papa and you mama and your sister and brother
all have holes
I press my holes and I steam my holes
and I take my holes to the cleaners
yeah, yeah, yeah
hold it, hold it, hold it now
come on, come on
Everybody: Clothes are holes, yeah, yeah!
and we get inside those holes
to cover our bodies
then our bodies’ prive in holes
because if we all free our holes
there’ll be a lot of butt holes at your funeral
so that’s why we wear holes
and holes are clothes
Beck Bennett: I don’t know. It’s something I’ve been thinking about.