A Day Off with Kellyanne Conway

Kellyanne Conway… Kate McKinnon

Jake … Beck Bennett

[Starts with “A Day Off with Kellyanne Conway” video bumper] [music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway waking up in her bed. Subtitle reading “Starring Trump Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway”] [Kellyanne Conway looks at the calendar showing ‘day off’ and she gets excited] [Kellyanne Conway is getting down the stairs dancing] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Kellyanne Conway looks at the phone and gets upset] [Cut to CNN Breaking News video bumper] [Cut to Jake in his news set]

Jake: Breaking news. Donald Trump has tweeted yet again that Hillary Clinton cheated on her husband. [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway] Kellyanne, how do you defend this tweet?

Kellyanne Conway: Jake, that’s unfair coz what Mr. Trump was getting at here, it clearly is not that Hillary cheated on Bill, but that she has been cheating the American people for decades.

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: But that’s not what the tweet said.

[Cut to Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne Conway: I think if you really look at it, if you read the whole tweet, that is what it said.

[Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway]

Jake: Okay, well thank you for coming in on your day off.

Kellyanne Conway: Of course.

[music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway running at the park] [Kellyanne Conway meets her friends and is doing yoga] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone rings and she leaves] [Cut to CNN Breaking News video bumper] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne Conway: Okay Jake, so this tweet is actually taken out of context. Of course Mr. Trump thinks that Mexicans can read [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway. Jake is looking very sleepy] and actually what he wants them to read the most is Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 missing emails.

Jake: Okay, Kellyanne.

Kellyanne Conway: We good?

Jake: Sure.

[music playing] [Kellyanne Conway is painting and dancing in her lawn] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to CNN Breaking News video bumper] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne Conway: Okay, this one is simple, Jake. Mr. Trump did the deaf voice at his rally this morning so that deaf people could hear him too.

[Cut to Jake. He can’t believe what Kellyanne Conway just said.] [music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway reading a magazine in her house.] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne Conway: Okay, so, yeah. Mr. Trump did challenge Obama to a penis off and if the president will simply produce his penis, we could get back to talking about what’s really important, which is jobs.

[Kellyanne Conway just leaves] [music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway buying her groceries] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway. Kellyanne Conway is carrying her groceries.]

Kellyanne Conway: Yes, he did say that it is gross to watch gay people eat pasta because he wants them to eat healthy food.

Jake: But why even say that, Kellyanne?

Kellyanne Conway: Jake, I have to put this ice cream in the freezer. Sorry.

Jake: Yeah, yeah.

[music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway skating at the park] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway. Kellyanne Conway walks in with the skating helmet on.]

Kellyanne Conway: Of course black people don’t have one less toe than white people.

[music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway having her facial done.] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne Conway: Of course, children are not just shrunken down humans.

[music playing] [Cut to Kellyanne Conway enjoying bubble bath and some wine with her husband] [Kellyanne Conway’s phone ringing] [Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway. Kellyanne Conway has wet hair and is wearing bathrobe.}

Kellyanne Conway: Of course Donald did not hold up a little cup of his own semen at a rally and say, “This becomes a person? No way!”

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: But he did say that. There’s tape.

[Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway.]

Kellyanne Conway: What do you want me say? Yes, he said that. He’s crazy.

Jake: Great.

Kellyanne Conway: He’s the worst person I’ve ever known.

Jake: Yes.

Kellyanne Conway: What do you want?

Jake: That’s what I want. Alright, well, thank you, Kellyanne Conway. Thank you for being here.

Kellyanne Conway: Thank you for having us.

Jake: Us? Who’s us?

[Cut to Kellyanne Conway and her husband. He is also half naked and is covered with bubbles.]

Kellyanne’s husband: Hi, Jake.

[Cut to split screen with Jake and Kellyanne Conway and her husband.]

Jake: Kellyanne!

Kellyanne Conway: What? It’s my day off.

[Ends with “A Day Off” with Kellyanne Conway outro]

CNN Election Center Cold Open

Jake… Beck Bennett

Donald Trump… Darrell Hammond

Chris Christie… Bobby Moynihan

Hillary Clinton… Kate McKinnon

Ted Cruz… Taran Killam

Mitt Romney… Jason Sudeikis

[Starts with Jake in his set]

Jake: It’s been a crazy week in politics. So, as tonight’s election results continue to roll in, let’s take a look back at past seven days. Donald Trump was endorsed by governor Chris Christie and dominated super Tuesday. Here’s what he had to say at the celebratory press conference.

[Cut to Donald Trump and Chris Christie]

Donald Trump: What a great, great night. I really am running the best campaign, aren’t I? The media is saying they haven’t seen anything like this. Not since Germany in the 1930s. I mean, everyone loves me. Racists, ugly racists, people who didn’t even know they were racists, people who’s eyes are like this, [making faces], and this guy loves me, don’t you? [talking to the audience] Wait, what’s that? Get him out! As I was saying, everyone loves me. I even got this fat piece of crap behind me now. [pointing at Chris Christie] Isn’t that right, Chris?

Chris Christie: Yes, sir. Thank you sir. Please sir. May I have another.

Donald Trump: I mean, he really is a sad desperate little potato back there. Aren’t you, Chris?

Chris Christie: Yes, sir. Thank you sir. Please sir. May I have another.

Donald Trump: No. Go get on a plane. Go home.

Chris Christie: Okay. You got it.

[Chris Christie leaves]

Donald Trump: Also, P.S. America, I have a great, big, huge dick.

[Cut to Jake in his set]

Jake: Alright viewers, I know this is gonna be boring, but let’s take a quick look at the democrats. Tonight is shaping up to be a big night for Bernie, but Hillary Clinton scored big on super Tuesday. Here’s a clip of her thanking supporters.

[Cut to Hillary Clinton. There are many black people standing behind her.]

Hillary Clinton: Yes, hello. Hello. Thank you. I’d just like to say, thank the f-ing lord! I won seven states tonight and to celebrate, I bought myself this brand new storm trooper coat. And to everyone who voted for me, thank you for trusting that I, Hillary Clinton, can bring this country together. Just like I brought these 10 black people and one Muslim person together behind me tonight for this speech. Yes! I hear these people are great, they are strong, they’re beautiful and they’ve all been punched in the nose at the Trump rally. And speaking of Trump, he is on track to become the Republican nominee. So, to all of you voters our there who have thought for years “I hate Hillary, I can never vote for her”, to you I say, “Welcome.” Coz I’ve got clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, and here you are stuck in the middle with me! Yes!

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: Powerful speech. Now, let’s get back to the fun stuff, the republicans. Tonight’s election results are in and here to talk about his big win is senator Ted Cruz. Caution: We’re about to show his whole face on the screen. So viewer discretion is advised.

[Cut to split screen of Jake and Ted Cruz]

Ted Cruz: Hello, Jake.

[Jake gets scared looking at his face]

Jake: Still got me even though I knew it was coming.

Ted Cruz: Happens to everyone.

Jake: Now, senator. Tonight you beat Trump in both Kansas and Maine which was a huge upset.

[Cut to Ted Cruz]

Ted Cruz: That’s right. I beat him good. And when I beat someone, it hurts because I still wear my big ugly class ring. [showing the ring he’s wearing on his finger] Ha-ha-ha. That’s right. I’m one of those guys.

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: But you did still lose tonight in Kentucky and Louisiana.

[Cut to Ted Cruz]

Ted Cruz: And that’s okay. I still love those states like they’re my own children. An Just like my own children, tonight those states said, “Ew, gross. I hate you.”

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: Now senator, let’s talk quickly about Thursday’s GOP debate which many called ‘Craze Balls’.

[Cut to Ted Cruz]

Ted Cruz: Oh, yes. The debate was so much fun. I talked policy. I laid out my plan for America. And right at the end, I ate a tiny little white booger off my lip.

[Cut to split screen]

Jake: Yes, that was absolutely disgusting.

Ted Cruz: Ha-ha. I know, right? [laughing]

Jake: Alright, thank you senator. [Cut to Jake] And finally joining us now, he came out strong against Donald Trump. With the unprecedented public address on Thursday, 2012 presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. Hello governor.

[Cut to Mitt Romney]

Mitt Romney: Hello, Jake. Hi, Jake. Thanks for having me. Now, that’s right America, I’m back. You didn’t ask for it but you got it.

[Cut to split screen of Jake and Mitt Romney]

Jake: Now governor, why have you decided to speak out against Donald Trump?

Mitt Romney: Well Jake, for the last nine months, I’ve sat down and watched Donald Trump say something every day that was either racist or sexist. [Cut to Mitt Romney] And we in the GOP, the party of the great Ronald Regan, we do not say racist and sexist things. We imply them, shuttly over decades and decades of policy. So I felt that I had to take matters into my own tanned well manicured hands and follow the advise of my favorite rapster, Macklemore. That’s right. And I chose to put Donald Trump on blast. America, he’s a fool.

[Cut to Jake]

Jake: Four years ago, he endorsed you for president.

[Cut to Mitt Romney]

Mitt Romney: Like I said, he’s a fool. He’s a fraud. He’s a scam. He’s a what? He’s a what? He’s a flimflam man. Now, if you vote for Donald Trump, and I hate to use a curse word on television, but if you vote for him, you’re a sucker. Aw, forgive me Joseph Smith. Oh, boy.

[Cut to split screen]

Jake: Wow. You are pretty riled up.

Mitt Romney: Yeah. You’re gosh darn right I am. [Cut to Mitt Romney] And that’s why on last Thursday, I rolled up my $1,000 monogram sleeves, I took a couple of shots of non-alcoholic kahlua, I did 10 women’s pushups and then I went out there and I gave the most aggressive passionate well measured anti-Trump speech I could.

[Cut to split screen]

Jake: And you think your speech changed the minds of any Trump supporters?

Mitt Romney: I do not.

Jake: Do you think any Trump supporters even watched?

Mitt Romney: Not on purpose. No.

Jake: You think your speech hurt Trump at all?

Mitt Romney: Honestly, I would assume it probably helped him.

Jake: Alright, is there anything you would like to say directly to Donald Trump?

[Cut to Mitt Romney]

Mitt Romney: Yes, yes, there is. Donald, you’re duplicitous, you’re reckless and if you become the republican nominee, know this, I would make a great vice president. and live from New York, it’s Saturday night!

[The End]

Career Day

Mrs. Riley… Leslie Jones

Teacher… Cecily Strong

Mr. Ronion… J.K. Simmons

Jake… Pete Davidson

Kyle Mooney

Sasheer Zamata

Fireman… Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with a vet doctor speaking in front of the class in Career day..]

Mrs. Riley: Now, with kittens, it’s usually the cute ones that scratch you.

Teacher: Ah! Thank you Rachel’s mom, [Mrs. Riley goes back] for talking to us about being a veterinarian. [Cut to Teacher] Okay. Career day continues with Jake’s dad.

[Cut to the class. Everybody is clapping.]

Mr. Ronion: Thanks. [walks in front of the class] Hey, buddy!

Jake: Hey, dad!

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Hi, I’m Mr. Ronion. And I am a Japanese messy boy. I know, what is that? Well, there is a small group of rich powerful Japanese women enjoy watching muscular older American men eat messy food in a sloppy almost childlike way. And I do that for a living.

[Cut to the students. Jake has his ears closed.] [Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: Um, we usually ask our parents to describe a typical workday. But it’s up to you.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: I’d love to. On appointment days, I am driven to a huge empty mansion and ushered into a changing alcove where I disrobe and put on a pair of little boy’s underpants. I know, get out the giggles. I said ‘underpants’.

[Mr. Ronion opens his briefcase]

I also wear this bib. [Bib that says ‘Lil Missy’.] And this hat. [A little boy hat] [Cut to everybody]

Here, you guys can pass that around if you like.

[Mr. Ronion hands over the cap to the students.]

I then sit at a three small white table in a very small red plastic chair and eat a meal while the wealthy Japanese woman watches and silently judges me.

[Cut to Kyle raising his hand]

Kyle: What kind of food do you eat?

[Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: No, you know what? We don’t need to take up any more Mr. Ronion’s time.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: No! Not a problem. Well, the food changes but it’s always sloppy. Overstuffed meatball sammies, beeforoni, a large hamburger that’s difficult to manage.

[Cut to Sasheer raising her hand]

Sasheer: Do you get a napkin?

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Oh, I wish! No, no, no. Japanese messy boys are forbidden from using napkins. After I finish the meal, the woman stands and says “Kono Americahito moto kau”, which translates roughly as, “The American boy eats in the manner of a pig.” She then storms out and an assistant hands me $45,000 in cash. Any questions?

[Cut to everybody. Everybody including students and parents are raising their hands.] [Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: I forgot to ask Mrs. Riley. What’s the hardest part about being a vet?

[Cut to Mrs. Riley]

Mrs. Riley: Mean dogs. [turns to Mr. Ronion] Man, how the hell did you get a job like that?

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Well, I was approached leaving my tennis club. A Japanese man in a suit was waiting in my car with a wooden box with a cocoon inside. And he said, “Careful this”, and split. Three weeks later, when the butterfly finally came out, hand to god, there was a piece of parchment attached to it’s freaking leg with an address on it. Jakie was there. You remember the butterfly, buddy?

[Cut to Jake being embarrassed]

Jake: Yap!

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: He’s embarrassed. So cute.

[Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: And, um, any more questions?

[Cut to everybody. One of the parents is raising his hand.]

Fireman: Hey, man. I don’t have a question but you get paid to eat like a pig. I mean, you’re my hero. And that’s coming from a fireman.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion nodding his head. His phone rings.]

Mr. Ronion: Oh! Getting a call on my work phone. Hey, do you guys wanna hear it?

[Cut to Mrs. Riley]

Mrs. Riley: Oh, please put that on speaker. Please.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion. He puts the phone on speaker.

Mr. Ronion: Yes, Mr. Nakomoto.

Guy on the phone: We really pick up a messy boy in 10 minutes. Today, barbecue rib. Client expect big mess.

Mr. Ronion: Got it, thank you sir.

[Mr. Ronion hangs up the phone]

Okay, um, [Mr. Ronion takes back his boy hat] well guys, I gotta run. Um, you heard the man. So, I guess if you have any more questions, Jakie can fill you in.

[Cut to Jake looking embarrassed]

Jake: Can’t wait.

Mr. Ronion: Oh, and tell your mom I’ll be eating dinner at work tonight.

Jake: Got it! Got it!

[Cut to everybody]

Fireman: Whoo! Living the dream, messy boy! Yeah! Messy boy!

Sara Lee

Jake… Bowen Yang

Dylan… Harry Styles

Cecily Strong

[Starts with video clip of Sara Lee building]

Dylan: You called me in?

[Cut to the office]

Jake: Hi there, Dylan, have a seat.

Cecily: Dillan, I was just telling Santino—

Jake: Oh, it’s Jake.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Okay, I’m sorry. I was telling him about your work managing the company Instagram here at Sara Lee.

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Yeah. And I love representing the brand. People love bread content.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Jake: Yeah, that’s a actually why we brought you in today. Since we flagged some activity on the account that has been a little off message.

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Oh. I don’t think so.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Well, for example, why did Sara Lee comment on this picture [Cut to the Instagram picture of Nick Jonas] of Nick Jonas saying, “Wreck me daddy”? And then comment a month later again with “Destroy me king.”

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Oh, I see what happened. I’ve been mixing up the Sara Lee Instagram with my personal Instagram account?

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Mm-hmm, we figured. And Sara Lee has also been obsessed with this random guy with only 200 followers.

Jake: For him, Sara Lee commented [Cut to Instagram picture of a random guy] with a few egg plants, water drops, a train and a ghost emoji.

[Cut to everybody]

Cecily: And that’s a reference to—

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Getting railed to death. Yes.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Jake: See, the worst part is this guy didn’t even like Sara Lee’s comment. And that’s really bad for the brand.

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: I didn’t notice.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Well, I think you did. Because three hours later [Cut to Instagram picture of a random guy] Sara Lee commented, “Shy no response?”

Jake: Again, really bad for the brand.

Cecily: If Nick Jonas won’t like Sara Lee’s comment, fine. But some random fashion twink?

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Yeah. Sara Lee’s feelings were hurt by that. It’s okay though.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Well, the other component to this is you’ve been captioning the company’s images with your own voice too.

[Cut to everybody]

Jake: Here’s this one.

Cecily: So you should have written something like, [Cut to Cecily and Jake] “Sara Lee fact. Our Texas toast is part of delicious grilled cheese.”

Jake: But what Sara Lee actually captioned was, “Feeling really depressed after threesome. What was supposed to be a fantasy ended up more rejection. Must get rid of Toxic in community.”

[Cut to everybody]

Cecily: And were there typos in that?

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: I don’t think so. But Sara Lee wrote that at 4 in the morning while he was still on Poppers High.

[Cut to everybody]

Cecily: And was that also the case for this photo of our cheesecake?

Jake: How about you read this one.

Dylan: “A little moody after being used. Why do guys freak out when I ask them to spit in my mouth? Need a real king that can handle. It’s 8 am and I have to go to hell job Sara Lee. Little in my head after another threesome.

[Cut to everybody]

Jake: We think it would be healthy if Sara Lee stopped having threesomes.

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: I know. It’s okay though.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: You keep telling us it’s okay, but it really, really isn’t.

Jake: Yeah, Dillan, I’m very disappointed. I passed down the Instagram to you because I thought it would be in good hands.

Cecily: Well, now that explains these posts from before Dylan started working here.

Jake: Oh! Oh, yes, I did write this, “Security downstairs stopped letting people into harness party at Sara Lee office. We have to do better. Must get rid of Toxic in the community.”

Cecily: Wow. Well, you’ve both done severe damage to Sara Lee’s image. So, this is your first warning.

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: Thank you. Full honesty, today Sara Lee DM’d Shawn Mendes saying “Check out my special holiday promotion.”

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: And what was that promotion?

[Cut to Dylan]

Dylan: A picture of my open throat.

[Cut to Cecily and Jake]

Cecily: Okay, second warning.

What’s That Name | Season 44 Episode 14

Doug… John Mulaney

Courtney… Cecily Strong

Vince Blight… Bill Hader

Todd… Mikey Day

Todd’s Wife… Heidi Gardner

Jake… Alex Moffat

Jake’s Wife… Aidy Bryant

[Starts with Doug and Courtney in the game show]

Narrator: And now it’s time to play what’s that name? And here’s your host, [Cut to Vince Blight] Vince Blight.

Vince Blight: Hello, hello and welcome to What’s That Name. The rules are simple. We show you a person. You tell us their name. Our contestants are Dough and Courtney. [Cut to Doug and Courney] [Cut to Vince Blight] The first question goes to Doug. John Legend is one of pop music’s biggest artists. But his better half as a star in her own right. [cut to picture of John Legend and his wife] Doug, what’s that name?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Crissy Teagan. [Ring for the right answer] [Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: That’s right. $5 for you. Courtney, you’re up next. Although, they recently split, we’ll never forget the whirl wind romance of Noah Cyrus [Cut to picture of Noah Cyrus and her boyfriend] and this American musician. What’s that name?

[Cut to Doug and Courtney]

Courtney: Okay, I actually know this. It’s Lil’ Xan. [Ring for the right answer] [Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: That’s right. Five bucks to you. All right. Doug. This next question is for $250,000. And we’ve got a walk on clue. [Cut to the stage. The door opens and a couple comes to the stage]

Todd: Hey Doug, it’s me. I’m one of your closest friends.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Hey, Todd.

[Cut to Todd and his girlfriend]

Todd’s girlfriend: And I have been his girlfriend for four years. What’s my name?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Hey, it’s great to see you.

[Cut to Todd and his girlfriend]

Todd’s girlfriend: It’s great to see you. We’ve gone out to dinner 20 times. We’ve sat next to each other at multiple weddings. What’s my name?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Uh—

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Doesn’t seem like you know her name.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Of course I do. Of course I do. It’s Missy?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Audience?

[Cut to Todd and his girlfriend]

Audience: Karen

Doug: Todd, I’m so sorry.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Interesting choice to apologize to him. As opposed to her. I guess you just don’t consider her a human being.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: What kind of horrible game show is this?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: It’s what’s that name. Courtney. You’re up next. And we’ve got another walk on clue.

[Cut to the stage. The door opens and a couple comes to the stage]

Jake: Hey, it’s Jake from your advertising firm in which you are the only female partner.

Jake’s Wife: And I’m his wife. [Cut to Courtney, very disappointed] So, [Cut to Jake and Jake’s wife] we met at the holiday party and when I showed up, you gave me a big hug and said, “Thank god, I’m not the only woman here anymore”. Every time you see me, you say, “Hey, lady” or “Hey, mama”. What’s my name?

[Cut to Courtney]

Courtney: Mama?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Oh, not going to cut it, mama. Audience?

[Cut to Jake and Jake’s wife]

Audience: Allison.

Jake’s Wife: But, Lil’ Xan you know.

[Cut to Doug and Courtney]

Doug: See, that’s even worse than me.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: How is that worse? Get all the cameras on him. Finish that thought, [Cut to Doug] Doug. It’s worse because –

Doug: Well, she’s a woman. So at a party, you think she would want to talk to the other wives.

[Cut to Doug and Courtney]

Courtney: Other wives?

Vince Blight: She’s a god damn [Cut to Vince Blight] partner at the firm, buddy. Unreal. Round two.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: You know, I want to say something. I think you’re kind of a jerk.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: I think you’re a jerk.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Why don’t you name all your friend’s wives?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Those guys? They don’t have wives. I roll with a crew of problematic bachelors and we call ourselves the squad. Let’s learn a little bit about our contestants. Shall we? Courtney, it says here that you’re a woman who doesn’t support other woman.

[Cut to Courtney]

Courtney: That’s right.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Is there anything you would like to say to all the girls watching at home?

[Cut to Courtney]

Courtney: Nope.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Gotcha. Doug, what would you say to all the young girls watching?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: I don’t know. You are as good as any man. [Wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Terrible.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: What would you say?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: I wouldn’t say anything. Camera three, push it on me. I would listen. [Cut to Doug] [Cut to Vince Blight] It’s time for the final clue and this one is dealer’s choice. [Cut to the stage. The door opens and three women come to the stage.] No, you’re not seeing double. There’s three women there. Doug, these are three of your wife’s bridesmaids. [Cut to Vince Blight] And we know, you don’t know any of their names.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: That’s correct.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Okay. So here’s the deal. You pick the one you think you have got the best shot at.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Um, middle one.

[Cut to three bridesmaids]

Woman in the middle: Awe, thanks.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: And because you are such a dumb donkey, we’re going to give you almost all the letters.

[Cut to three bridesmaids. The hint has first letter blank space and rest three letters are ‘ARA’.”

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Can I have the first letter?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: No. That would be all of them.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Do I have to look at her while I guess?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Right in the eye. For $10 million. What’s that name?

[Cut to three bridesmaids]

Doug: I am so sorry. Lara. [Wrong answer buzzer] Dara. [Wrong answer buzzer] Jara.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: You think her name is Jara? [Wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Doug]

Doug: Tara. [Wrong answer buzzer] Mara. [Wrong answer buzzer] Dara. [Wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Audience?

[Cut to three bridesmaids]

Audience: Mara.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: I said Mara.

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: Yeah, but you didn’t know it.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Hey, Vince Blake, why do you do this game? What’s it all for? What do you want?

[Cut to Vince Blight]

Vince Blight: In a word, chaos. [Cut to the stage] And that’s the game. No winner, I guess. But stick around because Doug’s our guest on another game show, “Does the Housekeeper Have a Son?”

Doug: No she doesn’t.

Vince Blight: He’s 16 years old. Good night.